


All I Want is You

by Bondopoulos, ProstheticLoVe



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Jealousy, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 05:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2456579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bondopoulos/pseuds/Bondopoulos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProstheticLoVe/pseuds/ProstheticLoVe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rather than spend the holidays alone, Logan and Veronica change their fate by dragging their friends on a road trip in the opposite direction of Aspen and Madison Sinclair. Set in Season 3 with LoVe and MaDi. It's early for a Christmas fic, but it's LoVe and MaDi fun, so how can you resist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Don't Want A Lot for Christmas

Veronica always prided herself on being a strong female. She was someone who could keep her shit together. She was strong when Lilly died. She was strong when her life got turned upside down after her mother left. She kept it together even after Logan turned the school against her and made her life a living hell for a full year. She was strong when she found out the truth behind every dirty secret that had been hidden from her. She was able to fight Aaron off and still managed to keep it together when she found about what Cassidy had done to her unconscious body. She even kept it together when she thought her father had died and as she watched Cassidy jump off the roof. Through all this she managed to keep moving forward.

After everything that had happened to her, however, Veronica was surprised at the one thing that was to finally make her break. Logan Echolls - or more specifically - Logan breaking up with her and not being in her life anymore. Now all she wanted to do was lie in her bed and wallow. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything. All she thought of was Logan.

Veronica couldn’t say she was entirely surprised when Logan broke up with her. She had put a distance between them to be sure. But she was surprised by how much it hurt. She felt like her whole world had collapsed. She felt all the strength she so proudly had inside her deflate a little. She knew she hadn’t been the best girlfriend to him, but she wasn’t completely ready to let go of him.

She knew that she had to snap out of this funk, so she allowed herself exactly two weeks to wallow. After exactly two weeks she was working out a way to at least try to be his friend. Veronica felt that Logan was sincere when he said that she could come to him whenever she needed help or needed a friend. And maybe it was too soon to want to befriend him after only two weeks broken up, but she really needed to see him. She wanted to make sure they were okay. If she couldn’t be his girlfriend than she sure as hell was going to try to be his friend.

She was determined to be his friend. She convinced herself that it was possible since they had been in the past. They could again. Maybe that’s what led her to making the phone call after her last final let out.

It was the last day of Veronica’s first semester at Hearst and the holidays were approaching. Her dad was out of town and she was lonely. She knew she could call Mac or Wallace, but she didn’t want to have to put on a happy face around them like she had been for weeks. Besides, she was so not in the mood for Piz or Parker to tag along with them.

“Hello?” his voice breathed into the phone.

She thought she heard hope in his voice - or maybe she just hoped there was hope in his voice.

“Hey…um…it’s Veronica,” Veronica said, wincing at the unsteadiness in her voice.

Logan cleared his throat and she could hear shuffling in the background. “Hey what’s up?” he replied.

“Just…you know…um…I was wondering if you maybe wanted to get dinner.”

There was a long pause and Veronica closed her eyes, silently berating herself for the phone call in the first place. She felt pathetic and stupid and she silently swore up and down never to call him ever again. Screw friendship he obviously didn’t want.

“You know what—” she started to preempt him, but he interrupted her.

“Yeah, okay. Where?” Logan asked, stopping her train of thought.

Her eyes popped open and she let out a breath she would forever deny holding.

“Um, how about that place you really like? The Chinese place?” she suggested.

“Okay. How’s fifteen minutes?”

“Perfect.”

Veronica made her way to her car on shaky legs. As she unlocked the door and climbed in she took several deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She felt sick and jittery. She half wished she’d never suggested going to dinner with Logan. She reminded herself that if she wanted to try the friendship portion of the relationship again she would have to step out of her comfort zone. They had been good friends, before Lilly’s murder so why couldn’t they again?

She tried to push the fact that she didn’t exactly only want to be friends with him out of her mind. Maybe if they were friends again he could see she was trying to change and that she could deal with her own issues in regards to him. They had moved so fast in their relationship in the past, so maybe moving very slowly would do the trick. Friendship in her mind seemed to be the key to any future with him at all. At least with friendship they could be in each other’s lives.

She was stalling again she realized as she forced herself to put the key in the ignition. She hesitated again and took another deep breath, closing her eyes as the air went in.

“No more running, Veronica,” she mumbled before starting the car and heading in the direction of the restaurant.

She arrived with a few minutes to spare but decided to make her way into the restaurant anyway. When she passed through the front door she was surprised to see Logan already at a table waiting for her. He was staring at the door, so he saw her immediately as she walked through. She gave him a tentative smile and walked over to the table. As she dropped her purse into the chair beside her she gave him a a gentle, yet more confident smile. She was working hard to appear unfazed by his presence.

“Hey,” she said, the smile still on her face.

“Hey,” he replied.

They sat there for a minute both staring at each other.

“So how are you?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Good, good. School, you know. It’s nice to be done for the semester,” Logan said, leaning back in his seat. He had a look of utter nonchalance as his brown eyes rested on her. The only thing that gave away his unease was his fiddling with the wooden chopsticks on the table.

Veronica nodded, wondering if he always looked that good or if it had just been too long since she’d seen him. He was wearing a forest green shirt and jeans and his hair was done just right. His eyes were their usual piercing brown and she swore they could see into her soul. She was surprised at how badly she wanted to touch him or kiss him, but she knew that would ruin her whole friendship plan. Her finger twitched despite herself as she thought about reaching across the table and putting her hand on his.

“That’s good. School’s been…tough,” she said for lack of anything else to say.

Logan smiled slightly. “I was a bit surprised you called.”

“Just a bit?”

“Possibly more than a bit,” he relented.

She smiled. “I want to try being friends, you know, like what you said and I just…I want to be able to talk to you. We’ve known each other since we were kids, Logan. I want you in my life. Just because we’re…through...well, it doesn’t mean we can’t still be…friends,” she said, almost choking on the last word. Again she was surprised by how hard that word was to say. She tried to channel her inner strength as she looked back into his deep brown eyes.

“I’m glad you called,” he said after a long minute.

She nodded. “Good. So what do you say? Friends?” she said, sounding shyer than she would’ve liked.

Logan grinned and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know…what does being your friend entail? Asking for favors? Chasing college rapists?” he asked with just a hint more malice than he would’ve liked.

Veronica ducked her head and looked down at her hands in her lap. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” she said so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

It was as if Logan could sense she was about to bolt because his hand shot out to grab her arm and keep her in place. The minute his hand connected to her bare arm, a bolt of electricity shot up through her and she let out a breathy little sigh. Only the smallest amount of contact was necessary for him to still get under her skin. His mere touch was enough to make her feel impossibly warm and protected.

“I want to try. Being friends, I mean...I want to try,' he said, his eyes boring into hers.

Veronica nodded once. She willed his hand not to leave her skin, but once he saw she wasn’t going to run he dropped her arm and began fiddling with the chopstick again.

“Good.”

“Good.”

They sat for a few minutes silently regarding one another before, as if like magic, the tension between them snapped and Logan began telling a funny story about something that had happened in one of his classes. Veronica laughed until she couldn’t breathe, and the rest of the night went as well as could be. They laughed and joked. They bantered with each other and enjoyed a comfortableness that they always seemed able to slide into like a second skin. Veronica couldn’t help but marvel at how easy the friendship thing was becoming now that they had gotten over the initial awkwardness. She found herself missing touching him though on more than one occasion. She had to clench her fists so she wouldn’t reach across the table and wipe his mouth where sauce was or touch his hand that rested on the table.

The end of the night was the hardest though. She had forgotten somewhere along the way that this wasn’t a date. By the time they had paid and Logan began to walk her to the car she half expected a kiss. Logan appeared to be having an easier time of it and gave her a friendly hug. She winced as he embraced her, but closed her eyes briefly as she took in his sweet Logan scent. When she pulled back she ducked her head so he wouldn’t see the hurt in her eyes. Logan always had a tendency to see right through her and now wasn’t the time to give anything away. When she did finally look back up she found him looking at her oddly.

“So I guess this is the last time I’ll see you,” he said leaning against her SUV.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re going to Aspen for the holidays,” she said, trying to act more casual that she felt. Inside she was a mess; she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he was going to hook up with someone in Aspen.

“No, actually. Dick and I decided to go to his family’s place in Tahoe instead. We aren’t really in the mood to see the old gang,” Logan admitted sheepishly.

For a moment she wondered why, but then she remembered that Dick was also in a weird transitional phase after everything that had happened with his dad and brother.

“Oh yeah, I get it. That sounds fun. Just you, Dick, beer, and tons of single ladies,” she joked, resorting to humor in an attempt to mask how him being anywhere near single ladies bothered her.

“Something like that,” Logan said noncommittally. “What about you?” He asked after a slight pause.

“What about me?”

“What are your holiday plans? What are you doing now that the semester is done?”

“Oh, uh…well, you know,” she said, shifting uncomfortably before him.

“No, I don’t know. That’s why I asked. What are you doing?” he asked, frowning at her uncomfortable behavior.

She cleared her throat self-consciously and wrapped her arms around herself.

“Nothing, actually,” she answered finally. "No plans yet."

“What do you mean, nothing?” he asked, surprised.

“Well, I guess that’s not true. Mac will be around so I’m sure that she and I will just hang out I guess,” she said feeling foolish. Her plans to sit around seemed silly when Logan was headed up to NorCal.

“Where’s your dad?”

“Out of town. He’s trying to break a big case. Some of the major stuff is happening over the holidays. Initially he wasn’t going to take it, but I just told him to go. I mean, we do the same thing every year so I won’t miss much and we need the money,” she said, trying to wave it off as if it was no big deal.

Logan stared at her for a moment. “Why isn’t Mac celebrating with her family?”

“She has a big computer thing due at the end of the week and her family already left to go visit some relatives on the East Coast. She told them she’d just celebrate with friends.”

“Well why don’t you guys come with us? I mean the more the merrier.”

“Logan, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want to crash your boy’s weekend of debauchery. I mean—”

“No seriously, it would be fun! We can go skiing or snowboarding. We can all hang out. Get drunk, go clubbing, you know. It’ll be fun,” Logan said excitedly.

She looked at him and bit her lip. “I mean…are you sure? Mac and I—”

“Yeah, it’s fine. You guys should come,” Logan said, nodding vehemently.

She bit her lip and then nodded. She was not as reluctant as she thought she should be.

“All right, maybe. How long did you plan to be there?”

“We leave next Saturday. Two days before Christmas.”

“Okay, and we’d be gone for…”

“Only about a week and a half. We planned to leave two days after New Years,” he said, grinning at her.

She smiled back unable to hold it in. “All right, if you’re sure. I’ll run it by Mac and let you know tomorrow,” she said.

Veronica didn’t think it was possible but Logan’s grin actually widened when she relented and she found herself really wanting to kiss him.

“Perfect,” he said before reaching out to squeeze her shoulder and then letting go before she could do anything about it.

Veronica was feeling a bit tongue tied after their physical contact, so she just nodded as she opened her car door. When she turned and climbed into the driver’s seat she could feel Logan’s eyes on her. As she left the parking lot she wondered what she had gotten herself and Mac into.


	2. There Is Just One Thing I Need

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Mac blurted out, feeling anxious about going to Tahoe with Dick and Logan. She chewed on her bottom lip as she watched Veronica shove the remains of her clothes into her duffel bag and then slide her computer into her backpack.

She had nothing against Dick, except for the obvious; he was a dick and he reminded her of Cassidy. And maybe some other reasons she wasn’t so comfortable thinking about yet. Mac told herself she was only nervous because she hadn’t been around Dick for any long length of time since Cassidy’s death.

Logan on the other hand, was like a drug to Veronica—one that she couldn’t seem to quit. Mac also thought that the trip wasn’t such a great idea because she figured Veronica would inevitably get back together with Logan, and Mac didn’t think that was the best thing for her friend right now. The breakup had happened a few weeks ago and Veronica seemed to be doing well—or at least Mac thought she was. Veronica was full of smiles and snark like usual, so in Mac’s book she was doing well.

“It’s a great idea,” Veronica said, forcing more cheer into her voice instead of allowing Mac to hear how nervous she was about the trip.

Since having dinner with Logan, they had talked a bit. Not every day, but at least once a week. Every time they talked on the phone Veronica’s stomach was full of butterflies. She tried to act normal, but it was hard when the person you wanted more than anything was nearby but so out of reach. She tried to act cool and collected for her friends, but inside she was a mess. Internally she realized that the more cool and collected she tried to act the more she realized how much she really wasn’t.

“I mean, we can always just stay here,” Mac said giving her a smile.

Veronica shook her head. “They’re already on their way. Besides it’ll be fun. Just friends hanging out,” she said, double-checking the remains of her stuff and then smiling forcefully at Mac. She felt sick to her stomach about the upcoming week. She was nervous about what the trip would bring and she wondered if it was going to end up like everything else with Logan did, in a massive fight. But regardless, if they did fight or not, she was just glad to be spending time with him.

“All right, I guess. I mean we are all just friends,” Mac said, watching Veronica move around the room in a speedy fashion.

“Yep, all friends. Nothing more. Just friends,” she said, nodding vehemently.

The two girls stared at each other before a knock interrupted the silence. Veronica hurried to open the door and saw Logan across the threshold smiling at her. He nodded over her shoulder at Mac.

“You guys ready?” Logan asked.

“Yep! All ready,” Veronica said, grinning maniacally and bouncing unconsciously as a result of the several cups of coffee she’d already ingested.

“Great. Do you need—“ Logan began to help, but Veronica cut him off again.

“Nope! We got it,” she said before grabbing the duffel and her messenger back and looking at Mac who followed slowly behind. Logan walked back outside, watching the two girls carefully to see if they were struggling under the weight of their luggage. Once everyone was out of the apartment, Veronica locked the door and they went down to the big black Escalade parked in the lot. Veronica smiled stiffly at Dick who was sitting in the front seat and then went to put her stuff in the trunk.

“Here, Ronnie! Take front!” Dick said, jumping out of the passenger seat and hoping in the back.

“No, Dick it’s fine. Mac and I can sit in the back,” Veronica insisted, watching as Mac set her own bags down in the trunk.

“It’s cool, just sit in the front. You’re better with directions and shit,” Dick said. He had already buckled his seat belt.

“Aren’t we going to your cabin though? Don’t you know where we are going?” Veronica asked, confused as she and Mac came around to where Dick was sitting.

Dick shrugged and popped open a PBR in the backseat. “I put it in the GPS. Logan can figure it out.”

“You put so much faith in me, Dick, I’m touched,” Logan said, putting his seatbelt on and looking out the open passenger door at Veronica. “Are you getting in?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her uncomfortable expression.

“Yeah,” she said, looking over to check on Mac who was already walking around to the other side and getting in beside Dick. Veronica got into the passenger seat and situated herself while trying to ignore the fact that she could feel Logan’s gaze on her. Once everyone was buckled in, Logan began to follow the directions on the GPS to the highway so they could head north.

Veronica reached for the radio the same time Logan did causing them both to reel back at the electricity of their physical contact.

“Sorry. It’s all you,” Logan said, shifting uncomfortable.

“No, it’s your car. Driver’s choice,” Veronica replied, making a gesture.

Dick laughed in the backseat and made to lean forward. “I can choose,” he volunteered.

“No!” Logan and Veronica said in unison. They glanced at each other and then out the window.

“If I can’t turn on the radio, at least one of you has to do it?” Dick complained impatiently from the backseat.

“I got it,” Veronica said, quietly reaching for the knob and selecting a station she knew Logan liked. The foursome listened in silence as they drove down the highway. Nothing much was said as they cruised north until Mac asked for a bathroom break and a chance to stretch her legs. Veronica agreed wholeheartedly, so Logan pulled over at the closest rest stop. Veronica hopped out as soon as Logan pulled the car to a stop and Mac made a move to catch up with her, but a hand reached out and held her back. Mac stopped and looked at the owner of the hand in astonishment.

“Can I...uh, talk to you?” Dick asked, letting go of her arm as if she burned him.

She cast a glance over at Veronica. Logan had caught up to her and she was laughing at something he had said. Mac sighed and looked back at Dick who was openly schooling her features. She figured he wanted to talk to her about something to do with Cassidy.

“Sure.”

“Cool.”

She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to go on. He remained silent, however, and seemed to be looking over her shoulder at something. Finally she followed his gaze and realized that he was watching Logan and Veronica walk into the rest stop. Mac watched as Veronica gave Logan a playful shove as he laughed. She sighed and looked back at Dick whose eyes were now on her.

“Thanks,” he said, giving her a smile and then taking a step away from the car.

“For what? We didn’t talk,” she said, confused.

He chuckled and began to walk across the parking lot. She jogged after him feeling annoyed at his odd behavior.

“Why were you staring at Veronica and Logan?” she asked, falling into step beside him.

Dick glanced down at Mac and gave her a look like she should know what he was thinking. She was annoyed he’d think that because—hello! Not psychic! She was lucky if she could understand when he was talking to her.

“You don’t see it?” he asked curiously.

“See what?” she asked, confused.

“They totally belong together, dude. They’re just being really stubborn about it. Logan’s been pining away for Ronnie since they broke up, and Ronnie is definitely not over him either.” Mac stopped walking as Dick’s words hit her. She struggled to understand what he was talking about, but for some reason she didn’t see it.

“What are you talking about? Veronica’s…she’s fine. She is over him, Dick. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mac said defensively, crossing her arms across her chest and glaring up at Dick.

Dick stopped immediately when she did and he gave her a ‘yeah right’ look. “Mac, come on, you don’t see it? They make moon eyes at each other, dude. This weekend is for them anyway. The only reason I agreed to doing this is because…well I’m going to get Ronnie and Logan back together,” Dick said so triumphantly that you’d think he was declaring he was going to cure world hunger.

Mac stared at him feeling as if he were speaking Chinese. She didn’t understand why Dick of all people was trying to get Logan and Veronica back together. She figured Dick would be happy Logan wasn’t seeing Veronica anymore.

“Why?” she asked finally.

He stared down at her as if she were dumb. “Because Logan’s my friend and Veronica makes him happy and who, like, am I to not help my friend find true happiness. Ronnie and I have had our differences, and he’s totally whipped when they are together…but I totally admit that I miss the guy he is when they are together. I’m doing a good deed, dude. This should earn me some mad relationship karma!” he said, smiling down at her and puffing his chest out.

Mac opened her mouth to respond and then shook her head before continuing her journey inside to go to the bathroom. Dick fell back into step with her easily but trailed behind her.

“Just watch them and tell me what you think. I can either do this with or without you, but it would be way easier to do it with you because Veronica is scary,” he said, gently tugging on her arm.

She let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. “Dick, we are not in Clueless, I’m not Cher and you aren’t…a male Cher. We aren’t playing matchmaker. Veronica is fine without Logan, and Logan is fine without Veronica. So just drop it, Dick. This is a vacation not a reality show,” she said, tugging her arm out of his grasp and finally making it to the doors.

“Dude! You’re totally wrong for such a smart chick,” he called after her as he followed her into the building.

Mac huffed and told herself that Dick was being an idiot. It was easy to believe because, well it’s Dick, and he was always wrong.

 

* * *

 

 

Veronica and Logan were waiting in line for coffee when they saw Mac stomp into the little store near the coffee hut in search of snacks. A few minutes later Dick followed her inside and went right up to her. Veronica smiled as she watched a look of Dick-induced annoyance look cross Mac’s face. But, to her astonishment, after Dick said something to Mac, the look of disdain seemed to melt off her face only to be replaced by a genuine smile.

“Who’s Dick seeing these days?” Veronica asked curiously, looking over at Logan who was playing with his phone.

Logan looked up and shrugged. “Probably half the sorority population of Hearst,” he said, putting his phone in his pocket.

Veronica smiled slightly and went back to watching Mac and Dick interact. “Dick needs a nice girl, someone to keep him in line,” she mused.

Logan followed her gaze and let out a low laugh. “Seriously, Veronica? Dick’s not going to go for Mac.”

She turned to him with a frown. “Why the hell not? What’s wrong with my best friend? She’s pretty, nice, smart, and she doesn’t take shit from Dick.”

“Because…” Logan said trailing off with a shrug.

“Because why?” she hedged.

“Because Mac dated Cassidy,” Logan said, looking down at the ground to avoid her eyes. Even after almost a year it was hard for either of them to say his name after everything that had happened. Veronica felt a shiver run through her and wrapped her arms around herself at the mention of the man who had violated her.

“So? You dated Lilly," she said, ignoring the tremor of fear that still went through her at the mention of Dick’s younger brother.

Logan’s head snapped up to look at her. “That’s different.”

“How exactly is that different?”

“It just…is. I don’t know. I just can’t explain it, but it’s different,” he muttered.

“I dated Duncan and that didn’t stop you,” she retorted, not wanting to drop the subject.

He sighed his eyes boring into hers. “Yeah, you did and I dated Lilly and you and I dated. But none of those relationships ended well if I recall correctly,” he said shortly.

She looked away, not wanting him to see the hurt in her eyes when he mentioned they weren’t dating anymore or that it ended badly. It always ended badly between them, but that didn’t stop her from wanting him again, and again, and again. She didn’t want them to be compared to any other couple.

She heard him sigh and only when she was sure he wasn’t going to see right through her act did she finally look back up.

“I think you’re wrong,” she said tightening her arms around herself.

“You always do,” he mocked.

She clenched her jaw and looked up at the menu.

“Listen, Veronica, it’s Christmas. I don’t want to bring up old arguments or the past or anything. I just…I want to just hang out and have fun. No drama,” he said, running a hand through his hair and trying to get her to look back at him.

“Right. Sure. Yeah, no drama,” She echoed, nodding and biting back a response about how he was the biggest drama-queen ever. She gave him a weak smile and then moved closer to the cash register when the person in front of them finally left. She ordered two black coffees and waved Logan away when he tried to pay. They waited for their coffee in silence, both of them lost in thoughts of the past.

By the time the four of them made it back to the car, Veronica was making more of an effort to make Logan laugh. She didn’t want this vacation to be about drama either and wanted to have fun. She always had fun with Logan and she wanted him to have fun with her too.

The two couples climbed back into the car and continued their journey north. As they drove Dick and Mac fell asleep, but Logan and Veronica were filled with energy. Veronica wasn’t sure if this bubbly feeling came from being so close to him or because they had been chugging black coffee. She was too giddy to care.

“I want this vacation to be fun too,” she blurted out, breaking the silence.

He took his eyes off the road to look over at her.

“Good,” he said, smirking.

“I mean, I know it’s been a difficult year and I feel that we deserve it. I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but maybe we could start afresh next year.” She said glancing over at him shyly. He changed lanes and nodded absentmindedly, whether it was because he didn’t hear her or didn’t want to Veronica wasn’t sure.

She continued to look at him, taking in his profile as if she was memorizing every ridge and freckle. Veronica sighed without realizing it and continued to gaze at him as if he was the only one in the world. If she were being honest with herself she could admit that for her he was the only one in the world.

 

* * *

 

 

Mac jostled awake when Dick unconsciously curled an arm around her in his sleep. She woke up feeling disoriented as she took in the position she and Dick were in. His head was on her shoulder and an arm was thrown across her body. Drool leaked out of his mouth and onto her sweatshirt, but she wasn’t as grossed out as she thought she should have been. Mac’s own body was cuddled up to Dick’s and her legs rested in his lap. They were essentially entangled together and Mac was shocked to realize that she felt more comfortable than she had in ages. At the sound of a tiny sigh she tore her eyes away from Dick and over to Veronica who was looking at Logan with such unabashed adoration in her eyes. The look Veronica have Logan was so intimate that Mac felt embarrassed to witness it. She looked back down at Dick and realized that this one time he might actually be right about something. She also realized that his being right frightened and bothered her even more than waking up in his arms.

 

* * *

 

The sky had just turned dark when they arrived at the cabin. Logan was thankful for their timing since he hadn’t wanted to navigate mountains in pitch-black darkness. And it appeared that snow would be falling soon. He honked the horn to wake Dick and Mac up, and he laughed along with Veronica at their startled expressions. The foursome took their things into the cabin. Neither Mac nor Veronica could hide their surprised expression of excitement at how lovely the cabin was. It was big, but not too big and it was warm and cozy. Veronica didn’t think that the Casablanca’s cabin would be so inviting especially since Kendall was the one who had insisted on its purchase. Veronica scowled at the thought of Kendall but pushed her frustration aside and began to explore the various bedrooms. She was determined to get first dibs the best one. She climbed the stairs and went into each room. There were five bedrooms in all and as she neared the last bedroom at the end of the hall she felt a presence behind her.

“I wouldn’t go in there,” Logan warned. "Seriously, any room but that one."

“Why?” Veronica asked narrowing his eyes at him. Then realization dawned on her. It was Cassidy's room.

“You know why,” Logan said, quietly before turning around and claiming one of the other bedrooms. 

She watched him go before following him downstairs to grab her own stuff from the living room. When she got back downstairs, she noticed Mac and Dick talking quietly in the corner. They stopped talking as she descended the stairwell and gave her innocent smiles. She threw them a weird look before grabbing her stuff off the couch and going to claim a room. It took her longer than she would’ve thought to claim a room since she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to sleep next door to Logan or not. She finally decided on the room one over from him so she wouldn’t appear to desperate. She also wanted to curb her temptation to visit him mat night, but for some reason she didn’t think having Dick in between them would really help much in that regard.

When Mac was sure Veronica had returned upstairs and was out of earshot, she turned back to Dick with a pained expression.

“Yes, you were right,” she admitted begrudgingly.

He chuckled. “Told you. Now are you going to help?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She frowned and made a huge spectacle of debating it before she finally nodded reluctantly. “I’m in. But we do it my way.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Deal,” Dick said, sticking his hand out so they could shake on it.

“Deal,” Mac agreed, shaking his hand.

They eyed each other before finally letting go.

“It starts tonight,” Mac said, looking into Dick’s blue eyes.

Dick smirked. “I’m already two steps ahead of you dude. We are going clubbin',” He said, gesturing between them and then upstairs.

“Clubbing? That’s your big plan? And what’s that going to do?” Mac said, shooting him a look.

Dick grinned triumphantly. “Dude, there’s so much I need to teach you, but first we have to go shopping. We need food and alcohol,” Dick announced, grabbing a pen and paper and throwing on the counter.

Mac sighed and picked the pad and paper up before looking around the kitchen to see what she should put on the list.

“Beer. Beer. Liquor. More beer.” Dick ticked off.

“Why didn’t we buy anything in Neptune?” Mac wondered as she wrote down a list of what to get at the store.

“Because Logan and Dick planned this vacation, and their main sustenance is alcohol,” Veronica quipped, walking down the stairs in front of Logan.

Logan rolled his eyes dramatically. “As opposed to your healthy diet of ice cream and Italian food.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and came to stand beside Mac, reading the grocery list over her shoulder. “Get Muenster cheese and strawberries. And coffee ice cream because it’s Logan’s favorite,” Veronica said without thinking. She felt the heat of everyone’s stare on her and she shrugged as if it was no big deal.

“What are we doing tonight?” Veronica asked, trying to get the heat of everyone’s gaze off her.

“Clubbin'!” Dick said proudly, making a raise the roof gesture.

“Seriously? It’s two days before Christmas, how busy will the clubs be?”

“There are parties up here all week, but if you guys are too tired maybe Logan and I will just go,” Dick said innocently.

“I don’t know, man, I am pretty tired. You guys got to nap, but Veronica and I have been up since we left this morning,” Logan said, rubbing the back of his neck. If he were being honest with himself, he’d have to admit that he wasn’t he was with watching Veronica dance with various guys all night. They might be trying to make this friends thing work, but there was no way he was ready to watch her be with anyone else.

“Fine. Then Mac and I will just go,” Dick said ,looking over at Mac who nodded slowly.

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” she said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Veronica frowned looking between the two of them and then shrugged. “Whatever. Let’s just go shopping I’m starving,” she said, grabbing her jacket and taking Logan’s keys without asking. He opened his mouth to argue, but she gave him a look that said ‘Do you really want to go grocery shopping?’ And all arguments died on his tongue.

“See you in a bit!” Dick said, winking at Mac who rolled her eyes. Veronica watched curiously before looking over at Logan who was watching her.

“Don’t crash my car,” Logan yelled after her.

“I’ll take good care of your baby,” Veronica promised before leaving the cabin with Mac.

Tonight, Mac thought, was about to get very interesting.


	3. I Don't Care About the Presents

Mac felt nervous as she got into the car with Dick. They had ordered a taxi because, even if they had not been planning to drink, neither of them was allowed to drive Logan’s car. Mac hadn’t minded the idea of going out with Dick, but now her nerves were catching up with her. She considered herself easy to talk to and get along with, but now that she was alone with Dick she had no idea what to say. Prior to this trip they had rarely been alone together, and yet this was the second time in one day they were forced to make conversation.

“This is going to be awesome.,” Dick said excitedly from beside her.

“Yeah, definitely,” Mac agreed reluctantly, tightening her grip on her wristlet. She thought back to Veronica grilling her with a million questions about whether or not she was okay to go out with Dick by herself. Mac hadn’t minded Veronica’s intense questioning, but now that she was actually going out with Dick, she wished she felt as confident as she had when she was assuring Veronica that she was fine.

“So, I think we should go to Scorpion first and then Earth. Maybe if we have enough time and it’s not too late, we should go to Kobalt because it has cheap drinks and the people in there are pretty cool,” Dick said, listing off the places they were going to go.

“Plus they don’t card,” he added with a wink.

“That doesn’t matter either way since, thanks to Veronica, we have fakes,” Mac said quietly so as not to alert the taxi driver.

“And that doesn’t matter because money talks,” Dick said, making the international sign for money with his fingers.

Mac blinked at him. She wanted to reply with something witty about how money didn’t buy you everything in life, but she decided instead to turn away and concentrate on the scenery passing them. She tugged nervously at the hem of the short skirt she was wearing and cleared her throat wondering if she should have said something back. But before she could form the proper reply, they pulled up in front of a large building with a scorpion on the front of it. The cab pulled over and Dick paid the driver before they got out and joined the line to gain entrance into the club.

“We’re still pretty early so the lines aren’t too bad,” he said, using his height to an advantage to see to the front.

Mac nodded and wrapped her arms around her torso in an attempt to shield herself from the cold. They waited in silence to get into the club. Neither knew what to say so they decided to not speak at all. It seemed easier that way.

 

* * *

 

Back at the cabin, Veronica sat stiffly on the couch and tried desperately not to stare at Logan. He was bent over and trying to get the DVD player to work, which gave her an amazing view of his ass. She licked her lips subconsciously as he stretched forward and the muscles in his back stuck out of the tight shirt he wore. She shifted uncomfortably as dirty thoughts filtered through her head. She suddenly had an urge to crawl forward and begin to kiss that spot on his neck that she knew drove him crazy. She tightened her hold on the thin blanket covering her legs and reminded herself that she couldn’t act on her impulses tonight. They were just friends she repeated silently. Just friends meant that kissing or even wanting to kiss was totally off limits. Apparently reminding herself of their status didn’t do much to stop her from thinking of a hundred ways she could seduce him into bed.

She cursed herself quietly for not joining Dick and Mac at the clubs. At least if she was at a bar she wouldn’t want to succumb to the desire she felt. But she’d also probably have to put up with Logan flirting with numerous other girls who weren’t her and she wasn’t sure she could take that. Actually she was pretty sure she couldn’t.

“So did you decide if you wanted popcorn?” he asked, turning around suddenly.

She adverted her eyes quickly and prayed he didn’t spot her checking out his ass.

“Um sure,” she said. Happy to have something to occupy mind other than Logan’s body, she swung the blanket off her legs and stood up.

“You don’t have to do it. I can get the popcorn,” he said, scratching the back of his neck and looking down.

“It’s fine. You always burn it anyway,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckled and sat down on the couch as she went to go make the popcorn. He casually glanced into the kitchen and watched as she moved around the room in the pajamas she had brought with her. She always moved so swiftly and he found it fascinating to watch her. He knew they were broken up, and if she caught him watching he’d be sorry, but he couldn’t help it. Watching her do anything that demanded focus appealed to Logan. If he were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that just watching her was his main form of entertainment these days.

He smiled knowingly at her pajamas too. They weren’t anything particularly sexy - just a pair of flannel pants and a blue V neck t-shirt. The blue V neck was actually his, but he wasn’t going to look into that too deeply. Or at least that’s what he told himself. He had also bought the flannel pajama pants for her too. He’d seen them and, since she always complained about being cold in his suite, he figured he’d get them for her when she got too cold. He’d even bought himself a pair too.

He reluctantly forced himself to look away from her and focused his attention back to the movie that was frozen on the screen. She joined him soon after with a big bowl of popcorn made just like he liked it and they settled in to watch the movie.

 

* * *

 

Mac was feeling totally out of her element as she leaned against the bar and watched Dick dance with some spray-tanned busty blonde. She rolled her eyes in disgust and took another shot from the bartender. She chased it with a beer and continued to sit at the bar feeling bored. She almost wished she had stayed at the cabin and watched the movie with Logan and Veronica, but she knew that they both needed time with each other so the plan could work.

Mac smiled slightly to herself as she thought of how easily she had agreed with Dick’s assertion that Logan and Veronica still having feelings for each other. Now that he had pointed it out, she was starting to see the bigger picture. She noticed the looks Veronica gave Logan and vice versa. She wanted to clunk them both on the head so they could finally just be together without all the bloodshed between them.

Mac also found herself feeling slightly jealous of Logan and Veronica’s relationship. She wanted something like that for herself, but the only person whom she ever wanted to be with long-term was Cassidy. That simple fact, in itself, did not bode well for her ability to judge potential suitors. She wished she could talk to someone about him, but that wasn’t going to happen. Mac didn’t like the dark turn her thoughts had taken so she took another shot and continued to watch Dick on the dance floor while he grinded to the latest hip-hop sensation.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Mac looked up and blushed when her eyes landed on the most gorgeous guy she’d ever seen. He was tall with ice blue eyes, an easy smile, and honey wheat blonde hair. If that didn’t make him utterly delicious already, the British accent he was sporting made him completely irresistible.

“Sure,” Mac choked out.

They guy grinned and waved the bartender over easily.

“What are you drinking?” he asked.

“Um...vodka, but I can switch it up,” Mac said shyly.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“I don’t even know you,” she said, staring into his pretty blue eyes.

His response was a wider grin as he turned to the bartender and ordered them each a scotch. Mac had never tasted scotch, so she hoped that she could stomach it, but she reasoned that she was already three shots and a beer deep tonight, so whatever was next wasn’t going to be a big deal.

“So what’s your name?” the guy asked.

“Mac,” she said, shifting so she could talk to him easier.

“I’m Dan,” he said, holding out a hand. When she placed her hand to his to shake it, he instead lifted their joined hands to his lips. When Dan pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand, Mac felt herself heat up and a blush color her face.

“I-it’s nice to meet you,” she stuttered, feeling the tingle of his lips on her hand.

“The pleasure is mine,” he said, sliding her one of the drinks the bartender just delivered.

She took a sip of her scotch and it took everything in her not to spit it right back out. To her credit, she managed to swallow the nasty-tasting liquor and even smile at him afterwards.

“So are you here with anyone?” Dan asked.

“No—well yeah, I guess, but we’re just friends,” Mac said, turning to look out onto the dance floor to find that Dick was mysteriously absent. She frowned, noticing his dance partner was already dancing with some dark haired guy. Dick was nowhere in sight.

“Do you live in Tahoe?” he asked, bringing her attention back to him.

She shook her head slightly and gave him a smile trying to remind herself that Dick would never leave her in a club by herself.

“No I—“ she began, but she felt a hand on her shoulder and she stiffened under the contact before looking up to see Dick right beside her.

“Mac-Attack, you ready to head to the next bar?” he asked, completely ignoring Dan.

“Uh well—” she started.

“Hello, I’m Dan,” Dan said, lifting a hand to offer to Dick.

Dick looked at him for a minute before turning back to Mac.

“Let’s go,” he said, poking her in the arm.

“But we just got here,” she protested, annoyed that he wanted to go when she was starting to talk to someone. And she wasn’t talking to just anyone – this was Dan, the hot Brit.

“That’s fine, Mac. How about I give you my number and maybe we can get together soon,” Dan said, taking out his phone and giving it to her.

She smiled and put her number in his phone before drinking some more of her scotch and bidding him goodbye. Once they were out of the club and glared back at Dick.

“I was talking to someone,” she said, scowling at him.

Dick merely glanced at her and shrugged. “So? Dude, he wasn’t your type anyway,” he said, leading her to a club nearby that had a big Earth sign in front.

She stopped and stared after him, aghast at his presumptuous claim to know what her type is.

“And how do you know what my type is?” she asked angrily.

He looked over his shoulder at her. “Smart. Like my brother,” he said before continuing on and getting into line.

Mac let the air deflate from her body and felt her buzz instantly fade away. Dick’s reminder of Cassidy left her feeling cold and empty. She silently followed him to the line outside the bar. The silence that they had shared at Scorpion was back once again, but this time the silence was full of tension; both of their thoughts were on Cassidy.

“Why did you have to bring him up?” she asked, looking up at him with sadness.

Dick refused to look down at her, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes. Instead he focused on the front of the line and the snails pace they were going.

“I don’t know,” he answered quietly.

“I think about him a lot you know,” she whispered, looking down at the black boots she was wearing.

“I do too,” he said finally, looking down at her. She sensed his eyes on her and she looked up and gave him a gentle smile. They turned back to the front neither wanting to delve deeper into the Cassidy-sized hole in their heart.

 

* * *

 

Veronica realized about an hour into the movie that she hadn’t been paying much attention to it at all. She wasn’t even sure what movie they were watching. All she knew was that it had some action and a cheesy love story. Instead, she was focused on Logan’s presence beside her. Her muscles were humming with the knowledge that he was so close but she couldn’t do anything about it. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, trying to figure out if she wanted to move away from him or closer towards him.

Her mind went to the times they had watched movies as a couple and how he’d hold her so close all snuggled up next to him. She’d always fall asleep cuddled into his side and he’d carry her to bed and tuck her in. She missed how snuggling with him made her feel so cared for. She missed the way he wrapped his arms around her as if she were delicate and precious and the way he looked at her with such love in his eyes she felt that she was the only one in the world. She just missed him and the longer she sat beside him watching this random movie the more she realized it. Not for the first time, she mentally kicked herself for letting him go.

“Do you want—”

“I’m tired—”

They said in unison. They both looked away sheepishly and Veronica made a motion for him to go first.

“Sorry. I was wondering if you wanted to watch something else? Or maybe play a game,” he suggested, feeling just as on edge as she did.

She nodded vehemently. “A game would be great. What does Dick have?”

Logan got off the couch and went to look through the sparse collection of games downstairs.

“Cards and Scrabble,” he said, holding both of the items up.

“We could play Speed,” Veronica said, standing up and walking to the dining room table.

“Not poker?” he asked.

She grinned. “I think we both know I would kick your ass. I know you don’t want to go home poor.”

“Wouldn’t that be a role reversal. Whatever would you do with all that money?”

“Buy a pony,” she said easily. "Duh!"

Logan chuckled and sat across from her. He shuffled the cards effortlessly and dealt them out.

“Do you think Mac and Dick are having fun?” Veronica asked as she collected her cards and put them in order.

Loan shrugged. “Dick’s probably half drunk and trying to make out with her.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t into her.”

“That doesn’t mean Dick wouldn’t want to make out with her. I saw the way he was looking at her when they left,” Logan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Veronica scrunched her nose up in disgust and then quickly smoothed her features out. She looked down at her cards and pretended that she was contemplating her move.

“So what did you think?” she asked delicately.

“About what?” he asked distractedly.

“About Mac.”

“What about her?”

“Did you notice what she was wearing?”

Logan shrugged and smacked the smaller pile with glee at having one the first round. They collected their cards and added them to their piles.

“Would you make out with her?” Veronica blurted out.

Logan’s head shot up and he looked at her incredulously. “Did you seriously just ask me that?”

“Would you?”

“Veronica—”

“It’s just a question, Logan. One friend to another.”

He blinked and then shook his head before looking down at his cards. “She’s not my type.”

Veronica stared at him for a moment before looking away.

“I like blondes,” he said, meeting her eyes.

She gave him a tentative smile. “I could’ve told you that,” she said smirking at him.

“Then why ask the question to which you already know the answer,” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged and they began their next round. “Because, believe it or not, sometimes I don’t know all the answers,” she admitted conspiratorially.

He barked out laughter and she bit her lip to keep a smile from blossoming across her face. She knew he’d get a kick out of that.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Veronica Mars just claimed _not_  to know all of the answers! The world must be coming to an end. Alert the media! Alert the press! We’re all going to hell,” he exclaimed, slamming his hand down on the table.

She rolled her eyes. “Always such a drama queen.”

“One of us has to be has to be with you always acting so butch,” he said, smirking at her.

“I don’t always act butch, Logan. I’m trying to change my natural ways. I did just admit I wasn’t always right,” she said.

“True. And it is a start, but what does it mean?” he asked teasingly.

“It means we’re growing up.”

The smile slid off his face and he shook his head slightly. “I’m already grown up, Veronica. You’re the one who has to catch up.”

“Yeah, like having meaningless sex, drinking at all hours of the day, and skipping class is model adult behavior. Logan, just because you’re on your own doesn’t mean you’re an adult.” She slapped the smallest pile and grabbed it. He sat beside her looking stunned.

“Thanks for reminding me of how shitty my life is, Veronica. I can always count on you to lift my mood. Memo received,” he said before throwing the remains of his cards on the table and getting up.

She sat there astonished, watching him walk away. She didn’t know why she was surprised because this scenario was nothing new. She always hurt him even when she was just trying to help.

 

* * *

 

Mac moved her body to the beat of the latest techno song that was playing loudly in the club. She was totally drunk and her eyes were closed as she danced to the beat. It was only when she felt someone’s hands on her hips did she open them. She laughed when she saw Dick standing in front of her. They were a good distance apart, but his hands were on her hips.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she slurred, moving closer and putting her hands on his shoulders. They were doing a weird mix of slow dancing and sensual grinding to the techno beat. Everyone around them was twerking on each other. Mac thought that everyone looked like they were dry humping except for her and Dick. Maybe it was because of their relationship or the fact that they were too drunk to be coordinated enough to twerk on each other, but Mac liked the slower dancing.

“Dancing, dude,” he said easily, stumbling closer to her as some guy knocked into him from behind.

Mac laughed and shook her head. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hands reacted automatically and he tightened his grip on her hips.

“I’m making sure no creepy British dudes hit on you,” he said in her ear since the club was pulsing with music.

“He wasn’t creepy!” she protested.

Dick looked down at her and rolled his eyes. “Whatever, dude. Who kisses someone’s hand when they meet? It’s 2006.”

“So? It was chivalrous! And when did you see that?” she exclaimed.

“I told you, Ghostworld! You’re too good for him. He’s probably a prick anyway,” Dick said, ignoring the second half of her question. Someone behind Mac pushed her towards Dick and he took the opportunity to pull her closer to him. He told himself that he wanted her closer so she didn’t get lost in the crowd.

“And the girl you were dancing with was such a peach?” Mac asked, giving him a look.

Dick shrugged. “She knew what she was doing.”

“Well maybe I knew what I was doing too,” Mac retorted.

Dick chuckled. “Yeah, but like, dude, you and she are different. You aren’t the type of girl to have a one-night stand. You’re the kind of girl who actually cares about the people you date and sleep with. You’re the kind of girl that a guy takes to meet his parents. You date good guys. Girls like her are just after the chase. You’re just…” Dick trailed off as he stared into her eyes.

Mac gazed at him not knowing what to say. That was the nicest thing Dick had ever said to her.

“I’m sorry for what I said in the beginning of the year. I should’ve never said that…I was just...” Dick said, clearing his throat uncomfortably.

“You were hurt. I get it,” Mac said, nodding.

“Yeah.”

“I know what you mean. It’s fine, Dick. I-I forgive you,” she said quietly.

“Good.” He said with a nod.

“I mean it is Christmas and everything,” she said, smiling up at him.

He grinned down at her. Their eyes were focused solely on each other and neither seemed to notice how close they had gotten. Their bodies were mere inches away from each other and both could feel the heat radiating off one other. The smile seemed to melt from Dick’s face as he focused on her. The sparkle in her eyes and the innocence in her face brought unfamiliar feelings to his gut. He removed one hand from its placement around her neck and he gently touched her cheek. Her eyes were locked on his and she suddenly had the overwhelming urge to close the last few inches of distance between them.

Just as she was contemplating acting on her impulse, Dick leaned his head down toward her and she instinctively closed her eyes. Before the couple could make contact, someone slammed into Mac from behind. The bump caused her to stumble forward and trip over Dick’s feet and effectively ruined the moment. Dick picked her up easily and ushered her off the dance floor until they were out of the club. Neither of them could look at the other as he hailed a cab.

 

* * *

 

After playing a few games of solitaire, Veronica decided to finish the movie. She fell asleep sprawled across the cushions as the credits rolled across the screen.

Logan, who had had trouble falling asleep after leaving her, went downstairs to find her snoring quietly on the couch with the TV on. He turned the TV off and looked down at Veronica pondering whether he should wake her up or just leave her there. Knowing Dick well, he knew that if he left Veronica there Dick was most likely to fuck with her especially if he was drunk. So he decided to be the good ex-boyfriend-turned-friend and pulled her sleeping form into his arms.

He struggled to maintain his cool despite the feelings that arose in him as her small body pressed up against his own. He missed this. He missed her. But, as they had clearly demonstrated earlier, they were still not able to work together. Somehow they always just managed to hurt each other.

He carried her upstairs and deposited her into her own bed. As he tucked her in, he heard her sigh pleasantly in her sleep.

“Logan,” she mumbled, a smile on her face.

Logan’s eyes drifted up to her face to see that she was still asleep. He smiled at the serene look she had and felt more than thrilled to know she was dreaming of him. He brushed the hair from her cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead. All of the warning bells going off in his head and reminders that they were only friends went out the window. He could only concentrate on her.

“Goodnight, Bobcat,” he whispered before leaving the room. He went to his room just in time to hear the door downstairs open as Dick and Mac came home.


	4. Underneath The Christmas Tree

“Hey!”

Silence.

“Hey!”

Silence.

“Hey Mac!” Dick tried again in an effort to get the attention of the brunette sitting on the couch reading.

“What?” Mac asked, her eyes still trained on the book. There was a note of exasperation in he voice.

“Is TBSP a teaspoon or tablespoon?” Dick asked, holding up the two separate measuring utensils.

“What?” Mac asked, confused by the question. She was enraptured by the book and couldn’t bring herself to look over at Dick. She had just gotten to the part where the heroine was about to decide between the two men who had been trying to woo her.

“Is TBSP a teaspoon or tablespoon?” Dick asked again in frustration.

Mac frowned as her brain finally processed his question. She looked up from her book and toward the kitchen doorway where Dick stood, holding two measuring tools.

“Tablespoon…” Mac mumbled staring at Dick in awe. He was wearing a grin despite the frustration and an apron that had a shirtless chiseled chest on it. A loin cloth picture was at the bottom to cover the manly parts.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Mac asked, momentarily distracted by the picture of the muscular chest on Dick. She wondered if that was what Dick looked like minus clothes. She shook her head, surprised by the sudden turn of her thoughts. Thoughts like that rarely popped into her head, especially where Dick Casablancas was concerned. But, after last night and their almost kiss, he was on her mind more that she’d like to admit. She wasn’t ready to deal with that little tidbit though. Instead she would remain in completely in denial. What the hell was wrong with her?

“My gladiator apron, duh. I wear it when I cook,” Dick said as if it should be obvious. He turned and walked back into the kitchen to continue with whatever science experiment he was working on.

It only took six seconds for curiosity to get the better of Mac. She jumped up and followed after him, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight of the kitchen. Every visible surface was covered with pots, pans and ingredients. The refrigerator door was wide open and bowls of various sizes were strewn all over the kitchen, including the floor. Mac felt her jaw literary drop open at the sight in front of her. She turned to Dick slowly who was sloppily measuring some flour into one a mixing bowl. A naked ham sat on the counter finishing off the mess.

“Oh my god,” Mac mumbled, staring in horror at the state of the kitchen.

“Hey Mac, can you hand me some lemons?” Dick asked, nodding at the open refrigerator.

She stared at him and then turned to the open cooler, wondering if she should even ask her next question.

“What do you need lemons for?” Mac asked, stepping over some bowls on the ground and finally reaching the fridge. She stuck her head in and began to sift through the food that she and Veronica had bought the day before.

Dick turned around to reply, but his words caught in his throat as he caught sight of her bending over to search the contents of the fridge. He licked his lips as he stared at the shape of her ass and he felt his manly parts twitch in delight at the image. A mental picture of bending Mac over the counter and having his dirty way with her infiltrated his mind and he felt the sudden urge to slap himself. Where did that come from? Mac wasn’t his type at all. Last night they might have made some kind of connection, but it was totally the alcohol. Dick didn’t like girls. He just banged them until he grew bored.

She straightened up, giving him an expectant look. He immediately looked away, trying to appear nonchalant.

“You know…for the recipe,” he belatedly remembered to reply.

“What recipe?” she asked, rolling her eyes and handing him one lemon.

“The one for the pie I’m making.”

“You’re making a pie? What type of pie is it? Lemon tart or something?”

Dick frowned and looked at the recipe. “How should I know? It just says a pinch of lemon and three tablespoons of salt.”

Mac huffed and stepped over the items on the floor to reach him. “Dick…TSP is a teaspoon, not a tablespoon,” she said, her voice full of amusement.

Dick stared at her and then down at the yellow bowl he’d been mixing in. “So…that’s not the same thing?” he clarified.

Mac sighed and shook her head before looking around the kitchen. “What exactly are you doing?” she asked slowly.

“Dinner,” he said, rolling his eyes at her obliviousness.

“What are you cooking?”

“Dude, you know…Christmas dinner. Ham, mashed potatoes, garlic bread, salad, stuffing, meat pies, and like a non-meat pie,” he said, pointing at each bowl. “Oh, and a fruit salad,” he added with a nod at the floor.

Mac blinked and let out a slow breath. Her Christmas dinners never consisted of anything remotely like the one Dick was planning. She wondered what type of Christmas rich people had.

“Have you ever cooked anything at all? Like ever?” she asked, running a hand through her hair. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn’t a big deal. There was more food incase Dick’s cooking experiment ended badly.

Dick shrugged. “No, but how hard can it be? I went to the grocery store this morning and everything should be done by like six,” he said, looking down at her as if she was the slow one.

“Dick, do you know how long a ham needs to cook? Like several hours and if we’re eating in four hours you can’t make salad now! And what are things we are going to eat doing on the floor?” she asked, exasperated.

“Because I clearly ran out of room on the counter,” he said, smiling slightly at the frazzled look on her face. He thought it was cute, but he wouldn’t admit that out loud. Dick didn’t think anything was cute. Hot, gorgeous, and bootylicious, yes, cute no.

Mac closed her eyes and counted down from ten before opening them again and looking back around the kitchen. “Why exactly are you trying to kill us again?” she asked softly, not wanting to freak out just yet.

“I figured it would be nice. Romantic you know. I don’t know what happened last night, but Logan and Ronnie have been up in their rooms all day. I tried to talk to Logan earlier, but he was all mopey and sad,” Dick said, rolling his eyes.

“I thought it would be nice to have a Christmas Eve dinner,” he added, looking down at her.

Mac nodded slowly. “Okay, okay. Well maybe we can still salvage some of this,” she said, looking at the bowl still in his hands. “First things first though, you need to throw that away and I’ll make Veronica and Logan go and get a pie for dessert,” she said, stepping over the items on the floor to reach the doorway.

“And get the food off the floor, Dick,” she yelled over her shoulder. She missed Dick stick his tongue out at her.

Mac hurried upstairs and knocked on Veronica’s door loudly. It was two in the afternoon. V couldn’t possibly still be asleep, right? Mac couldn’t hear anything from inside her friend’s room. She pressed her ear to the door and then knocked again louder. She heard a door open down the hallway but saw Logan’s head that pop out of the room instead of Veronica’s.

“Hey,” Mac said uncomfortably.

Logan smirked. “Mac, did you need something?”

“Where’s Veronica?”

Logan looked away and shrugged. “I’m not her keeper,” he said, an undertone of bitterness muttered under his breath.

“Well you and Veronica need to go get some sort of dessert for tonight,” Mac said, turning to knock again on Veronica’s again.

“On Christmas Eve? What do I look like a miracle worker?” Logan said, stepping fully out of his room to stand next to Mac in front of Veronica’s.

Mac sighed heavily and took a step back from the door. “No, but I want dessert tonight and I’m willing to bet so does Veronica. So you two need to go get something or else heads are going to roll. And it had better not come out of the freezer aisle. Find something good,” she threatened before turning and walking back towards the steps.

“What happened to whatever dessert there was?” Logan called after her.

“Dick…decided to try out his cooking skills,” she said heavily and then she hurried down the stairs before Dick could ruin anything else.

Logan watched her go. He waited a full minute to collect himself before he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and pounded on Veronica’s door. He bit the inside of his cheek nervously as he waited for it to open. After a few seconds he was about to knock again when the door opened and a tired looking Veronica stood before him.

Logan stared at her for a moment, taking in the pajamas she was still in and the unguarded look in her eyes. When her eyes met his he watched with agonizing sadness as her walls went up. She gave him a stiff smile and moved back into the room. Logan knew her well enough to know that this was a wordless invitation for him to come in.

“Uh…Dick’s trying to cook dinner so we have to get dessert,” he said, scratching the back of his neck and looking everywhere but at her.

“Okay,” Veronica said, going to her suitcase to find some clothes to change into.

“That’s it? Okay?” he asked. He was surprised that he didn’t have to convince her to come with him or, at the very least, threaten her with no dessert.

“Yeah. I mean…did you want to go alone?” She stopped shuffling through her bag and looked up at him.

He shook his head quicker than he meant to and then shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

She smiled and grabbed clothes from her suitcase before looking at him expectantly. He blinked, staring blankly back at her. She wiggled her clothes and then nodded at the door.

“This isn’t a free show, Echolls,” she said, throwing her clothes on the rumpled bed.

Logan blinked and cleared his throat, realizing that she had to change at the same time she dropped the hint that he should leave.

“Right, yeah. Sorry,” he stammered before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. He leaned against the door and briefly shut his eyes. His mind automatically went to a naked Veronica Mars just on the other side of the door. The physical ache of how much he actually missed her hit him square in the chest. Not for the first time, he cursed himself for fleeing their relationship. He had told himself that he was just beating her to punch but he hadn’t anticipated missing her so much. He took a step away from the door just as she came through it. They stared at each other before Logan made a gesture for her lead on. She hurried downstairs and stopped at the doorway of the kitchen to see Dick and Mac in the middle of a vast mess.

“Did a food bomb go off in here?” Veronica asked, eyeing the various cooking tools all over the kitchen.

“Dick and I are making Christmas dinner,” Mac said, grabbing Dick’s hand before he dumped some milk into the mashed potatoes bowl. He stared at her in confusion and she nodded at the measuring cup near the sink.

“We need to measure, Dick. Remember, we just went over that,” she said as if she were talking to a five year old.

Dick rolled his eyes but did what he was told.

Veronica raised an eyebrow and then turned around to walk back to Logan. When she spun around she didn’t notice he was right behind her and she ran into his chest. She took a step back, but Logan grabbed her arm to stop her. He immediately let go of her arm when he noticed her startled look. He was desperate to say something and looked around the room for inspiration.

“Fruit salad,” he said, gesturing down at the floor where a bowl of half cut up fruit sat.

“Um…yeah,” she said as if she always almost stepped in fruit salad.

She waved goodbye to Dick and Mac and they left the cabin and made their way out to Logan’s car. She rubbed her arm where he’d touched her and tried to ignore the fire that had ignited within her at his touch.

The two got into the car and Logan looked up the nearest bakery on his phone. “I don’t know if there will be anything open since it’s Christmas Eve and all, but maybe we’ll get lucky,” Logan said, turning the car on and letting it heat up before putting it in drive.

“Maybe,” she said, matching his absentminded tone. She sat quietly and stared out the window as they drove down into town. They listened to Christmas music on the radio and neither of them said much. The first bakery they stopped at was closed. The next four were as well. By that time it was growing dark and neither of them had said more than a few words to each other. The grocery store they went to next thankfully was still open and a few pies and various other desserts were still on the wooden tables under the sign Baked Goods.

“What should we get?” Veronica asked, her voice raspy from lack of use.

“We don’t have much of a choice,” Logan replied, looking between the last five desserts on the table.

“Well I’m vetoing chocolate chip cookies because those do not look appetizing,” she mumbled, pointing at the small box of cookies that looked stale.

“Well—” Logan began.

“Oh, honey! I knew this was going to be a disaster.” A tiny, middle-aged blonde woman said, coming to stand beneath the sign with them. She was with a tall brunette man who didn’t look very happy. She gave Veronica and Logan a soft smile and then looked up at the tall man.

“Honey, I don’t know why we didn’t just get something when we were still in San Francisco,” she said quietly, looking at the few desserts.

“Because your parents hate anything good,” he said bitterly.

The blonde woman looked at Logan and Veronica and gave them an apologetic smile before turning to her companion. “They like you,” she said, trying to be optimistic.

“Val, how can you even say that? They’ve hated me since they met me when we were in high school. Besides, I’m good…therefore they hate me. It’s the law of nature,” he said, sounding like a petulant child.

“Well, I love you, so that’s all that matters,” she whispered, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

“It’d better be the only thing that matters,” he mumbled, kissing her on her forehead before looking over at Logan and Veronica who were watching them with varying emotions across their face.

“See something you like?” The man snapped, bringing his wife closer to him.

“Just trying to decide,” Veronica said, looking down at the desserts.

“Don’t mind Lance. He just hates people,” the woman chirped.

Veronica smiled despite herself and looked up at Logan. “So does this one. It must be a male thing,” she said.

“Does he dislike your parents too?” the woman asked, laughing.

Veronica grinned, her eyes still on Logan. It took her a second to remember that, not only did she not have parents (she had a parent), but also she and Logan weren’t together.

“Look at them talking about us like we aren’t even here,” the man said, rolling his eyes at Logan.

Logan cracked a smile. “Veronica does that all the time. It’s nothing new. Sometimes I think she even forgets I’m around,” Logan said, bitterness underlining his tone.

Veronica looked back down at the desserts, her ears ringing with Logan’s words. Oh, she knew when he was around; she could always feel him. It was like her body finally felt alive and every molecule in her vibrated and hummed as a result of his proximity. She could never forget him being around, of that she was certain. Even if they didn’t talk for years, she was positive that she would instinctively know the moment he walked into the same room as her. That thought scared her most of all.

“I don’t,” she said quietly.

The middle-aged couple exchanged looks and then the tiny blonde woman gave them a gentle smile. “Which dessert would you like? You guys were here first,” the woman said, gesturing to the small pile.

“We’re trying to decide which is the best,” Veronica said, trying to give the woman a smile.

“Where are you going?” Val asked.

“If it’s to her parents, get the worst thing you can. They’ll talk about how bad the food is instead of focus on how bad you are for her,” Lance advised Logan.

Logan smirked and looked down at Veronica who was frowning. “Her dad pretty much already hates me. I don’t think choosing a terrible dessert would help either way,” Logan said carelessly.

“What did you do?” Lance asked curiously.

“What did I _not_ do is the real question,” Logan said.

“Well, what is it?” the guy pressed.

Logan looked back down at Veronica who was pretending to try and decide between blueberry pie and pecan. “Well, it first started when I was accused of murdering her best friend and probably escalated when I got angry and threw a lamp. But most likely he just never really liked me at all,” Logan mused, watching the smile on the older man’s face disappear.

Lance and Val looked in between the younger couple and then the man grinned, much to Logan’s surprise.

“Ah, being young was much more fun. Especially young and in love. Val, and I met in high school. She was dating the class president, but women just can’t resist a bad boy with a sad past, you know? Her parents have always hated me. I’ve never been accused of murder, but I have had my fair share of anger issues. Throwing shoes, dishes, toasters…you name it. If you want some advice, just enjoy being with the woman you love. Don’t think about whether her parents will like you or not. You aren’t going to be with her parents forever, just her,” he advised.

Logan stared at the man not sure what to say when his wife piped up. “Besides, you two are too adorable together,” she said.

The man rolled his eyes. “It isn’t about being adorable; it’s about being right. They are _right_ together,” he said, shaking his head at his wife.

The wife rolled her eyes and looked at Veronica. “Dear, take the pecan, it’s fresher," Val advised.

Logan looked down at Veronica who was grasping the pies so tightly that the plastic crunching under her fingers.

“Pecan. Yeah,” she mumbled, placing the blueberry down and taking a step back. “Thanks,” she said robotically and began to walk away.

“Sorry about her. She’s always lost in her own thoughts. I like to pretend she’s too distracted by me,” Logan joked before thanking Lance and Val and walking away. He heard them mentioned how nice of a couple they were and inside he felt warm and mushy. Someone thought that that they were a great couple. It almost didn’t matter that they were no longer together. As he got in line at the checkout stand behind Veronica, he noticed that she didn’t look as happy; she looked completely petrified.

He didn’t bring it up until they were back in the car, letting it warm up before heading back to the cabin.

“Veronica?” he said quietly, looking over at her.

She stared out the window seemingly lost in thought.

“Doesn’t listen to—”

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out.

Logan turned fully toward her as he waited for her to continue. Veronica rarely apologized so when she did Logan made sure to give it his full attention.

When they were younger he took a great deal of pleasure from hearing her utter those two words, mostly because she rarely did anything wrong. She was the wallflower who wouldn’t knowingly hurt anyone.

Now Logan took even more pleasure in her apologies than he had before. Veronica 2.0’s apologies were as rare as they had been when they were kids but for a totally different reason. Veronica 2.0 never liked to admit it when she screwed up and she seemed to always hurt people. It was uncommon for her to admit that.

“Sorry?” he said, watching as she played with the plastic bag.

“Yeah. About last night, I’m sorry,” She repeated, finally bringing herself to look at him.

“Okay,” he said, leaning back against the seat. Thinking that was the extent of her apology, Logan reached out put the car in gear.

“I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. I’m just…you know how I am. I get defensive when I feel vulnerable and…well I made that comment without thinking. I don’t mean to be a total bitch to you—at least not all the time, anyway. I’m trying to work on it, but it’s like the trust thing. It doesn’t come naturally,” she whispered, gazing at him.

Logan smiled weakly. “It’s fine, Veronica. Bad boys like me don’t have feelings anyway.”

Without thinking she reached out to put her hand on his arm but pulled away at the last second. She matched his feeble smile and shook her head.

“Sometimes I need to hurt the other person before I get hurt myself. It’s just scary for me—the thought of being so…vulnerable and open with someone. It’s scary how easily being vulnerable can hurt you. I just…yeah, I’m sorry,” she rambled, letting out a breath that made her bangs fly up.

Logan’s smile widened and he nodded. “Good to know,” he said, reaching for the gearshift again.

“Am I forgiven?” she whispered, fear lacing her voice.

He stared at her, watching as vulnerability spread from her voice to her eyes. A slow smirk formed on his face and she scowled at him, knowing that he was teasing her by taking so long to answer. She impatiently nudged him to get a response.

“Always,” he mumbled.

She nodded and turned to look out the window. A slow snowfall had started. She smiled softly all the way home wondering if maybe a tiger really can change its stripes.


	5. I Just Want You

The snow was falling more heavily as Logan and Veronica drove back toward the cabin. Veronica smiled as she looked out the window, feeling lighter than she had in ages. It was as if her apology to Logan had lifted an enormous weight off her shoulders. The previous night she had tossed and turned, her words to him eating away at her. Now that she had made things right again her mind was slightly clearer and she felt better. She wished she hadn't waited so long.

Suddenly Logan slammed on the breaks and they skidded several feet before he made a sharp turn. She crashed into the passenger side door and let out a loud hiss of pain.

"Sorry," he said, quickly taking another sharp turn and pulling into a parking lot.

"What the hell, Logan! That hurt!" she exclaimed, rubbing her shoulder.

"I'm sorry! I just wanted to get in here before they close," Logan said hurriedly as he parked and shut off the car. He jumped out before she could question him further.

She followed behind him, confused. When she saw where they were she let out a loud laugh.

"K-Mart, Logan? Do you even know what a K-Mart is?" she asked as she hurried to catch up with him.

"K-Mart? Of course! I've got a Foreman Grill on layaway," he mocked, glancing behind to make sure she was keeping up with his long strides. "Three payments left!"

She trotted to keep up with him as they made their way through the nearly empty store. She watched in amusement as he gathered a bunch of Christmas lights and looked around for some other things they could decorate the house with. It was Christmas Even so the pickings were slim.

"What about mistletoe?" she joked, playing with the little plants near the garden section.

Logan raised an eyebrow at her. "You're really taking this matchmaking thing to heart aren't you, Emma Woodhouse," he said, making her laugh.

"Did you just reference Jane Austen to me?" she asked, smiling as he blushed and looked away.

"Would you have preferred a Fiddler on the Roof reference?" he asked, grabbing a few plants and tossing them into the basket.

"No. I'd much prefer to be Cher from Clueless. But to answer your question…it's not a trick to get Mac and Dick together. It's just…festive," she said. She wasn't about to admit that Mac and Dick were the furthest thing from her mind when it came to mistletoe.

"Festive, right. I still think you're trying to get Mac and Dick together," he said as they made their way to check out.

"If you hadn't noticed, Oh Observant One, I haven't been trying to get them together. I think it'll happen all on it's own," she said triumphantly.

"Doubtful. Dick is many things, but intuitive is not one of them. Nor is subtlety. If Mac likes him she'll have to actually tell him."

Veronica shrugged as he paid for the decorations. "Whatever you say," she said as they made their way back to the car.

 

* * *

 

"So…should we say something?" Mac asked, breaking the silence. Everyone had taken their seat around the wooden table. There was a fire blazing in the fireplace and a home cooked meal was on the table and it looked delicious.

Veronica and Logan had returned to the cabin to find that Dick has surprised them all by having a tree delivered. She and Logan had decorated it with lights they had purchased. They didn't have any ornaments, but no one seemed to mind. Mistletoe hung in some of the doorways and Mac made a mental note to avoid it.

"What should we say?" Veronica asked, eyeing the food on the table. She was starving after an emotionally charged day. At this point she basically would do just about anything in order to eat the meal in front of her. It looked amazing even though it was Dick who cooked it.

"Thanks for the meal, Dick and Mac," Logan said, already reaching out to shovel some mashed potatoes on his plate.

"Hold on, hold on! I want to say something," Dick said, putting his hands up and waving them in the air.

Everyone sighed and looked over at him. He cleared his throat and stood up. He lifted his wine glass up and looked around the table.

"Thank you everyone for making this a one of a kind Christmas. This year was rough but we made it through, so let us say 'fuck yes' to the fact that we are all still young and hot. Also that our livers haven't failed from too much partying because if you can't party what is the point of living, man," Dick said before downing his glass of wine.

The three others stared at him and then Mac raised her glass and gave Dick a smile.

"Here! Here!" she said before drinking from her glass. Her mind was on Cassidy and how this was Dick's first Christmas without him. She knew there was more to Dick than this frivolity, but she was proud that he was keeping himself together.

Logan glanced over at Veronica before downing his own glass of wine. It had been a rough year but he was glad for the umpteenth time today that he'd invited Veronica here with for Christmas. He was amazed that she was still in his life despite the fact that they weren't together anymore.

"Let's dig in, dudes. Mac and I worked extra hard on this," Dick said gleefully.

The foursome dug into the meal. All were happy to discover that it tasted as good as it looked.

"This is actually pretty good," Veronica said as she ate the ham. She had been a little worried after the scene in the kitchen this morning.

"It was all me," Dick said proudly and then smiled sheepishly at the glare Mac gave him.

"And Mac. She helped. I'm glad that she knows how to cook meat even if she won't eat it," he added.

Dinner was mostly a quiet affair with only the occasional 'pass this' and 'hand me that' thrown around.

Once they were all finished eating they settled onto the comfy couch in the living room in front of the fire with their gifts. They all traded their gifts until everyone had a little pile of their own.

"Should we take turns?" Veronica asked, not knowing how to proceed. Usually she had to wait until Christmas morning to open gifts, but since were making their own traditions, she wasn't sure what to do. She wondered if they'd come back next year to keep the tradition going - just the four of them. She shook her head and tuned her thoughts back to the present. She had to remind herself that once they got back to Hearst they'd probably all go their separate ways.

"That's not a bad idea," Mac agreed, but they continued to stare at each other.

"Ok so…who wants to go first?" Logan asked, looking at the other three participants.

"Whose birthday is next?" Veronica asked, knowing full well it was Logan's.

"Logan, you're up," Dick said, chugging some beer.

Logan nodded and opened the gift with the shiny blue wrapping paper. He knew it was from Mac because it said 'From: Mac' in big Sharpie letters.

"Wow," Logan said as he opened the gift. It was the latest video game. He thanked Mac and then Dick opened his present from Mac, which was a series of passwords for various video games. Veronica was the next to go and she followed Logan and Dick's lead and opened her present from Mac. It was a book on spy gadgets and a few toys for Backup.

The gift giving continued in that manner, each of them taking turns. Apart from the video game passwords, Dick was very excited to get a surfboard from Logan, which was waiting for him back in Neptune, and an IOU from Veronica. Mac had gotten some computer gadgets from Dick and a shared spa day from Logan for her and Veronica. Veronica got her some vegetarian cookbooks and a 'Girls Night Out' coupon to do anything sometime soon. Veronica was excited at the prospect of sharing a spa day with Mac. She also received a pair of earrings from Logan. Dick got her a book about criminology. Logan, in addition to the video game, got some Absinthe from Dick and a scrapbook from Veronica. He stared at the scrapbook instantly recognized the white frilly cover. It was from their undercover mission at the Sunset Regent when looking for his mother.

He looked at her with astonishment.

"A Scrapbook, Veronica? No wonder you guys broke up. Should've given him lingerie," Dick said callously.

Mac elbowed him in the ribs and Dick shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

"It was a prop," Veronica said uncomfortably. "I found it when I was cleaning my room, and…I don't know I just…I had the idea when we were still together. And your house did burn down—I don't know how many mementos you have," she said awkwardly. She couldn't tell whether he loved it or hated it. He continued to stare at her and then finally he looked down and began to flip through it. It was like moving back in time. There was a picture of them when they were twelve, and a picture of the Fab Four. There were ticket stubs from movies they'd all gone to see together. It was a literal time line of all of their years together. The book ended with a picture Mac had taken of Veronica and Logan a few days before the discovery of the campus rapist.

"If you don't like it I can get you something else," Veronica said quietly. She had always made her presents in the past when it came to the Fab Four. Since they were all so rich, she'd always had trouble getting them anything. She'd often relied making things herself. She didn't make Mac's or Dick's present because Mac couldn't buy everything and Dick wasn't her best friend, not like Logan. After the difficult past year she thought he deserved something like this…something sentimental. Until this very minute she had thought the idea was a good one. Seeing the closed off expression on his face made her want to grab the gift and throw it in the fireplace.

"I love it, Sugarpuss," he said with a wink, tightening his hold on the book so she couldn't take it back.

She gave him a sheepish smile and then Dick broke the silence by announcing they should watch a Christmas movie. Dick scanned the movie titles before he found Christmas in Connecticut and popped it into the DVD player. He settled back onto the couch beside Mac and tugged some of the covers off of her so he could have some too. She cast him a frown before sighing heavily and relenting.

"What are we watching?" Veronica asked as she came back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hand.

"Christmas in Connecticut. It's a classic and it's hilarious," Dick said.

"What's it about?" she asked as she sat down in between Logan and Dick. Dick took a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth before taking another gulp of beer and propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"Christmas, duh," he said, pressing play.

Veronica rolled her eyes and passed the bowl around to Logan and Mac. Despite the fact that movie was pretty entertaining Veronica felt herself fighting to stay awake. It wasn't long before she fell asleep cuddled against Logan.

"Are you going to wake her up, dude?" Dick asked regarding Logan's awkward position with Veronica curled up beside him.

Logan shrugged, not taking his eyes from the movie. "She's tired," he said.

"But aren't you uncomfortable? She's like pressed into your side," he observed, setting his empty beer on the coffee table.

"It's not a big deal, Dick. What, are you feeling jealous?" he asked, moving his arm to put it on the back of the couch so Veronica could nestle even closer to him.

"Of cuddling with your ex? No thanks. She's scary," he said, standing up and making his way to the kitchen to get another beer.

"Dick, make more popcorn," Mac called out, but he didn't acknowledge her as he walked away. She huffed, grabbed the empty popcorn bowl and followed him into the kitchen.

"Did you need something, Ghostworld?" Dick asked, grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

"I asked you to make more popcorn," she snapped as she grabbed a bag and popped it into the microwave.

"All part of the plan," Dick said with a wink.

Mac frowned and looked towards the living room where the back of Logan's head was visible. She smiled; catching him looking down at Veronica with what she thought was a loving gaze.

"I may have to give you credit in matchmaking, Dick," she mumbled, turning away from the scene and moving closer to the microwave.

"Should I take that as a compliment?" he asked, smirking as he opened his beer.

"Don't let it go to your head," she said, taking the popcorn out of the microwave when it was ready.

He chuckled as he turned to make his way back to the movie. Mac emptied the remains of the popcorn into the bowl and turned to leave the kitchen. She heard Dick say something, but she wasn't paying attention. As she walked out of the kitchen she bumped into something and looked up, surprised to see Dick.

"I asked you to grab Logan a beer," he said, looking down at her.

"What am I, your maid?" Mac glared.

Dick smirked, "No, she's Brazilian."

Mac opened her mouth to respond when she noticed something hanging in the doorway above her. She slowly looked up and felt her jaw drop open slightly. She looked at Dick and saw him looking at the mistletoe she'd just seen. Their eyes met, both of them suddenly feeling nervous.

"Right so…" she said, clearing her throat uncomfortably.

"Yeah."

They continued to stare at each other until Mac finally moved forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. It lasted for a few seconds before they pulled apart and continued to gaze at each other. Except this time the look they shared was different. Dick's expression was one of shock and amazement and Mac felt like her whole world had just gone up in flames. She felt off balance and surprised at her own boldness. She licked her lips subconsciously, imagining she could still taste Dick there.

"Thanks," she said finally. She moved past him and returned to her spot on the couch. She saw Logan glance curiously over at her, but she ignored him. She sat ramrod straight on the couch until the end of the movie. Dick sat just as stiffly beside her. Neither of them said anything for the rest of the movie. Once it was over, Mac and Dick hurried off to their separate rooms as Logan put Veronica to bed.

 

* * *

 

The foursome spent Christmas day relaxing around the house, watching movies and being lazy. Outwardly, Dick and Mac seemed to be calm and collected, but on the inside Mac was still reeling from their kiss. She wanted to tell Veronica everything, but at the same time, she didn't want to make a big deal of a mistletoe kiss. It was just a silly Christmas tradition. Mac struggled to remind herself that Dick would never kiss her willingly. Dick appeared unaffected by the events of the previous evening so she would be too. Or at least she would pretend to be.

The group ate leftovers when they were hungry and watched bad movies until it was dark. They found themselves looking for a new form of entertainment and Dick suggested a game of Never Have I Ever.

"We aren't playing that," Veronica protested, thinking about the last time she'd played it during Homecoming Sophomore year.

"Yeah, man, let's play something else," Logan said.

Dick shook his head. "Like what? You haven't come up with anything better. Are you two too chicken to play?" he mocked, making chicken noises.

Mac stifled a laugh at his impression.

"No we just…" Logan trailed off as he looked over to see Veronica's hardened face.

"Why don't we play truth or dare or something?" Veronica suggested.

"Fine. I'm up for that," Dick said with a nod.

Logan glanced over at Veronica who looked almost sorry she had offered up the suggestion.

"I mean—" Veronica began.

"Let's all have a drink," Dick said, passing everyone a glass and pouring a shot of whiskey in it.

"Do we have anything else?" Veronica asked sniffing the shot.

"Don't smell it, Ronnie. If you smell it you won't drink it," Dick advised as he handed her a coke.

"For a chaser," he added at her questioning look and finished pouring the shots.

"So how do we play Truth or Dare with alcohol?" Mac asked, confused.

"Let's just play Never Have I Ever," Dick said going back to his original idea.

"Fine!" Logan and Veronica said in unison.

"Alright! I wanna go first," Dick said excitedly. "Never have I ever slept with a married woman," Dick said, proudly shooting Logan a look.

Logan scowled. "Screw you, Dick," he said, downing his shot.

"Mac you're up," he said, giving her a genuine smile.

She nodded, trying to hold back the blush threatening to overtake her face. "All right, um…never have I ever had sex," she said almost as proudly as Dick.

Dick almost spit out his shot in shock. "Seriously? My brother never—" he cut himself off and the room went quiet.

Logan and Veronica took their shots silently and then Veronica spoke up. "Never have I ever had sex with a woman," she said, earning glares from Logan and Dick. She smiled, happy that she'd broken the tension.

"Never have I ever kissed a boy," Logan said smugly.

Veronica and Mac rolled their eyes and did a shot.

"Never have I ever been in love," Dick said smirking.

Logan took the shot quickly as if it would help dull the pain. Veronica, on the other hand, hesitated before taking her shot. She refused to look anyone in the face, least of all Logan. It wasn't that she was unsure that she was in love with Logan. There was no doubt in her mind that she had been and still was desperately in love with him. When it came to Logan, Veronica couldn't stop her feelings of reckless abandon. He always left her feeling unsure of herself and completely out of control. If there was one thing she always had to have it was control. Logan had the power to make her vulnerable, which meant he held all the power. He was her weakness.

Once Veronica took her shot, everyone turned to Mac who was staring down at the amber liquid.

"Never have I ever almost been shot," Mac said finally.

Veronica and Logan both took a shot.

"Never have I ever set up a scheme to take 09ers money," Veronica said, smirking.

Mac laughed and took a shot. Logan and Dick shared a look of confusion.

"What scheme?" Dick asked.

"Purity test," Mac said, chuckling.

Dick's jaw dropped open. "That was you?" he asked. He was astonished.

Mac nodded.

"Never have I ever slept with Madison," Logan said, smirking at a scowling Dick.

"Never have I ever been the daughter of a sheriff," Dick said smugly.

Veronica rolled her eyes and took a shot.

"Never have I ever been arrested," Mac said, making everyone take a shot.

"Never have I ever had a sibling," Veronica said. Everyone else took a shot.

"Never have I ever broken anyone's heart," Logan said, looking around the table. Veronica stared at him before she downed the shot and slid one to Logan.

"What's this?" Logan asked, smirking at her. By this point they were all a bit more than tipsy.

"Your shot," she said, gazing at him.

He frowned, "I just said 'never have I ever broken anyone's heart.' I don't need a shot," he said as he pushed it back to her.

She rolled her eyes and scooted it back towards him. "Yes, you do," she said. She boldly looked directly into his eyes, feeling the effects of the evening's dose of liquid courage.

Logan nearly gasped at the unguarded expression he saw in her depths before lifting the shot to his lips and taking it.

It was quiet for a moment before Dick continued their game.

"Never have I ever been part of the Fab Four," he said, watching as Logan and Veronica took a shot.

"Never have I ever made fake IDs," Mac said. She smiled when Veronica took another one.

Veronica frowned, trying to think of a good 'I never' statement. Her mind was fuzzy now and she couldn't process anything. She forgot how much she hated drinking.

"Never have I ever…hm…God, I don't know," she said, sitting back drunkenly and thinking. "Never have I ever tried to use someone else to distract myself from my true feelings," she said and then heavily sighed before she took the shot on the table. Everyone stared at her with varying degrees of confusion.

"Oops. Guess that's not a never," she said, giggling at her own drunkenness.

Logan blinked and turned away. "I think we're done here," he said, taking the shot that was poured out from him.

"No way, man. We still have half a bottle left," Dick whined.

"Yeah! Come on, Logan…it's just getting fun," Veronica slurred, pouting at him.

Logan sighed and sat back down. "Fine. Never have I ever killed anyone."

Dick frowned, "Well no one's done that here, dude. Okay! My turn! Never have I ever done it in a bathroom," he said, smirking.

Veronica giggled from her spot on the couch. "This one time—" she began, but Logan covered her mouth quickly before she could get any further.

"Mac, your turn," Logan said, nodding at Mac.

Mac smirked, "Never have I ever made out with my worst enemy."

Logan groaned and took a shot before passing one to Veronica who was grinning sloppily.

"All right! Never have I ever wanted to bone Dick," Veronica slurred.

Logan laughed loudly, "Did you just say bone?" he asked.

Veronica rolled her eyes and looked over at Mac who was a lovely shade of red. Slowly Mac sighed, picked the shot up and downed it quickly. A smile formed on Dick's face and he looked down at his own shot with hidden glee.

"Never have I ever had good sex with Duncan," Logan said. He looked over to see that Veronica was scowling but noted that she didn't take her shot.

"Never have I ever been hung up on Veronica Mars," Dick said, smirking as Logan begrudgingly took his shot.

"Never have I ever wanted to have sex with Logan," Mac said, staring Veronica down.

Veronica rolled her eyes and took her shot. "My turn…" Veronica mumbled looking at the bottle in thought. "Never have I ever drowned my sorrows in a bottle," she said, looking up just in time for Dick and Logan to take their shot.

"Never have I ever run away from my true feelings," Logan said, looking at Veronica. She sighed and took another shot before leaning against the side of the couch. It was getting harder and harder to concentrate at this point.

"Never have I ever passed out at a party," Dick said. Veronica winced noticeably and took her shot. Logan glared at Dick for having brought up Shelly's party.

"Never have I ever done drugs," Mac said, watching all three of them take a shot.

"Never have I ever liked this game," Veronica said, suddenly standing up and walking away from the table and her companions. They all watched her leave the table before Logan got up and followed after her to make sure she was ok. Dick and Mac exchanged looks before they finished their shots and returned to the couch. They managed to sit through another movie but both were too distracted by the other's proximity to pay much attention to it.

 

* * *

 

Logan followed Veronica upstairs waited a full minute before he knocked lightly on her door.

"What?" she asked as he came into the room.

He gave her a brief grin before coming to sit beside her on the bed. She was sprawled out on her side, staring at her open computer.

"What did you mean when you pushed that shot toward me?" he asked vaguely.

"What?" she slurred, wishing the room would stop spinning.

"When I said 'Never have I ever broken anyone's heart' you told me to take the shot," he clarified.

She sighed, opened her eyes and stared up at him. She had no idea what to say.

"Was it about Hannah?" he asked, wishing she'd say something.

"No. It wasn't Hannah," she whispered, putting a hand to her head and rolling onto her back.

"Then whose heart did I break?" he asked, desperate for her to confirm what he already felt in his heart. He just needed to hear her say the words.

"Logan…why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?" She gave him a sad smile and turned onto her other side. "Merry Christmas," she said quietly, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

"Veronica, please. I think you owe me this much," he asked, touching her shoulder. He wasn't ready to leave her yet.

She remained silent for what felt like an eternity. Assuming that she had fallen asleep, Logan pulled a blanket up around her shoulders and turned to leave. Her soft voice broke the silence just before he reached her bedroom door.

"Mine. You broke my heart," she whispered.


	6. For My Own

Logan woke up exhausted. He had been up most of the night and still couldn't stop thinking about Veronica's words from the night before. The five simple words kept replaying in his head, over and over. He couldn't sleep. Nothing could distract him from the weight of Veronica's confession. He wanted to talk to her about it, but he knew Veronica well enough to know that she would run if he did. So, instead of barging in and demanding more answers, he let her words repeat in his head until they consumed him...until he could think of nothing else.

He was thankful for the distraction when Dick suggested that they go hit the slopes for the day. Everyone seemed relieved to have a plan and quickly bundled themselves up and set off. Neither Veronica nor Mac had really been snowboarding before so they chose to ski and stuck to the baby slopes while the guys took on the more challenging ones. Logan didn't mind just hanging out with Dick, he needed the time away from Veronica so he could figure out exactly what was going on.

"What do you think the girls are doing?" Dick asked as Logan slide next to him. In the distance he could make out Veronica's red hat as she fell hard on her butt. Logan bit his lip to hide a smile at how adorable she looked. He watched as she looked around to see if anyone had noticed her tumble.

"Skiing probably," he said, watching as Veronica carefully made her way over to someone whom he assumed was Mac. She was animatedly talking to a tall blonde guy so he wasn't sure if it was the computer nerd or not.

"Lets go find them. I'm starving," Dick said, gliding over to the bunny hill to find them. Logan caught his arm and nodded through the trees to where he'd seen Veronica.

"That way," Logan said, maneuvering his way through the snow and toward the little group that had formed. He felt a familiar pang of jealousy when he saw Veronica talking with a tall brunette guy. The asshole was leaning toward her and brushing snow from her shoulders. Logan could feel anger and possessiveness roar within him at the sight. Her words from the night before came drifting back to him and he scowled as he thought about how he'd broken her heart. Obviously her declaration had been a fluke. Clearly she wasn't pining for him. She didn't care at all or why would she be acting this way?

Dick and Logan came up to the little group wearing matching disgruntled expressions.

"Hey," Mac said, grinning when she noticed Dick. "Look who found me!" she exclaimed, gesturing to Dan who gave Dick a smug grin.

"This is Dan from the other night at the club," Mac added for Logan's benefit. But Logan didn't seem to hear her at all. All his attention was focused on Veronica.

Veronica had yet to notice Logan and Dick's presence, or at least she wasn't acknowledging them. Instead she kept chatting with her new, tall brunette friend.

"Want to introduce us to your new friend, Veronica?" Logan asked with a scowl.

Veronica turned to them. "Oh yeah, Logan...Dick, this is Arnold. Arnold is from Australia."

"Hey mates," Arnold said, waving at them.

Logan's scowl increased and Dick nodded at him.

"How were the big hills?" Mac asked, knowing the chilly tension in the air had nothing to do with the weather.

"Good. We're hungry though. Wanna go grab some food and then go back out?" Dick asked, still eyeing Dan with annoyance.

"That's a great idea. I'm starved. Do you want to join us?" Veronica asked, directing the question to Arnold and Dan.

"Unfortunately, we can't, but I would like to see you again. I'm having a party tomorrow you're all more than welcome to come," Dan said.

Mac and Veronica exchanged looks before nodding. "Sounds great! Text me the details," Mac said.

As soon as the words left her mouth Dick had taken her by the arm and was leading her away on the pretense of finding food. Veronica and Logan followed behind.

"He seemed chatty," Logan said, trying to keep the sour tone to a minimum.

"He was," Veronica said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Do you like him?" Logan asked, trying to be subtle.

"Sure, I guess. He's nice," She said with a shrug.

Logan stared at her for a moment before increasing his pace and catching up to Mac and Dick. Once they arrived at the lodge, they set their equipment on a rack and made their way inside. They quickly unbundled themselves from the warm coats they had on when the first blast of warm air hit them. The hostess in the little tavern told them to sit anywhere they wanted and Logan immediately went to the bar to get them drinks. Veronica, Mac, and Dick sat in a booth and perused the menu until the waitress came over.

"What can I get you guys?" she chirped.

"I'll have the veggie wrap," Mac said.

"Hamburger," Veronica said, looking over at the bar wondering where Logan had gone off to.

"Yeah, same for me," Dick said.

"And one more too. We have a fourth person still coming," Veronica said hastily.

The waitress nodded and went to go put their order in. Mac and Dick chatted happily as Veronica periodically looked over to the bar to see where Logan had gone off too.

"Where do you think Logan went?" she finally asked when the waitress came back with their food.

Dick shrugged chomping on his fries. "Probably off getting wasted. Or he met a hot blonde. You never know with him," he said, pouring half the bottle of ketchup on his burger and fries.

Veronica blinked and then scooted out of the booth.

"Where are you going?" Mac asked, taking a bite of her lunch.

"Bathroom," Veronica said quickly. She did her best to appear to be casually walking around looking for the bathroom while on the hunt for Logan. As she turned the corner she stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. She felt her heart beat begin to race and a nasty feeling creep into her stomach. As she spotted Logan and the tall, skinny, redhead he was flirting with, she suddenly wasn't feeling so hungry anymore. She watched from afar as he leaned in and whispered in her ear making her giggle. He grinned at her in that particular way that always made Veronica's stomach flip. She simultaneously wanted to run over there and yank the bitch's hands off him and run home all the way back to Neptune. Instead she flipped her hair and began to walk towards the bathrooms, which of course were inconveniently behind the flirtatious couple.

"Veronica," Logan said, seeing her approaching.

He gave her a Cheshire Cat grin that made her stomach drop and she wrapped her arms around herself on the pretense of being cold. In reality the look on his charmingly handsome face was making her heart ache. If she didn't hold herself together she was sure she'd break.

"Logan," Veronica chirped, trying to sound as if she didn't care. Because obviously she didn't. At all. If she cared things would get nasty. Logan was Logan and always went after stupid bimbos when they broke up. It was his MO. It was him and one would think that it wouldn't surprise her anymore, but one would be wrong. Watching it all unfold still hurt like a knife cutting out her heart . She was powerless to stop it.

"We ordered you lunch," she said, not glancing over at the redhead.

"I'm probably not going to eat," he said, his eyes returning to the redhead who smiled seductively at him.

"Figures," Veronica said, rolling her eyes and turning to enter the bathroom. She tried her damnedest not to stomp, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was go back and personally introduce the redhead to her stun gun.

Whatever, she thought as she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked into her blue eyes and began her long-time mantra. You will not cry over Logan Echolls, she repeated over and over. She had done this mantra many times before, but for some reason this time it was less effective. So she locked herself into a stall and quietly cried. She wasn't sure whom she was madder at, herself or Logan.

Once she had gathered herself together, Veronica let out several deep breaths and counted to ten before reemerging into the world. She noticed Logan had left the bar, but so had the redhead. She tried hard not to think about it as she walked back to the table. She was sure she was going to lose it but her goal was to maintain some form of dignity.

When she got back to the table, she was unsurprised to see Logan and the redhead back at the table with Dick and Mac. They were all laughing over something and suddenly she felt self-conscious. She bit the inside of her cheek and concentrated on the pain instead of how badly she wanted to run away and do things she swore she'd never do again. Aka cry over Logan Echolls for a second time in ten minutes.

"Where have you been, Bond?" Mac asked, smiling over at her.

"I'm actually—" Veronica began, but was cut off by someone yelling her name.

She looked behind her and was surprised to see Aussie Arnold making his way to her.

"Mates," he greeted before turning to Veronica. "I decided lunch would be really good right about now," he said, looking down at her.

Veronica tried to smile at him, but the hurt was still too fresh and all she wanted to do was go home. "That's great, but we're actually finished," she said, gesturing to all of the empty plates, except hers.

"It's no problem, maybe we could get a drink then," he said as the occupants at the table went back to their own conversation.

"That's a really nice offer, but I was actually going to go back to the cabin we're staying at. I'm not feeling too well," she said, making a sick face and turning back to the table. She noticed everyone was still talking except for Logan. He didn't seem to be listening in to her conversation, but she wouldn't put it past him.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, eyeing her curiously.

"I think it was something I ate," she said stiffly.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Logan asked, noticing her defensive posture.

"No, I can call a cab. It's still really early. I don't want to ruin your day. I can just meet you guys back at the cabin," she said, giving them a weak smile before taking a step back and moving to leave the restaurant.

"Do you want a ride?" Arnold asked.

Veronica opened her mouth to tell him she'd just take a taxi, when she noticed Logan watching them.

"I don't want to be a bother," she said, hearing a loud snort from the table. She stilled her body so she wouldn't look over at the source of it. She'd know that snort anywhere.

"It's fine. I'd be happy too. I'm pretty tired of the slopes. We've been here for days," he said. She gave him a fake smile before consenting.

"Sure," she said before turning back to the table. She felt some satisfaction when she noticed Logan's clenched jaw and Mac's raised eyebrows.

"I'll see you guys at the cabin," she said before turning and walking to the exit with Arnold close on her heels.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the day was spent goofing off in the snow. The redhead, whose name kept escaping Logan, hung out with them for about an hour before he grew bored of her. She couldn't hold is attention. She was dumb and she wasn't Veronica, both of which were excellent reasons to tell her to get lost. Once it began to get dark they returned their equipment and made their way back to the cabin.

"Do you think that we are about to walk in on Ronnie and that Australian dude doing it?" Dick asked, earning a glare from Logan.

"She wouldn't do that," Logan protested.

"I don't know. Maybe she has a freaky side. I've heard you guys have sex it's all moany and 'Loooooogan, Logaaaaaan,'" Dick mocked.

Logan shoved him as they entered the silent house.

"You guys are gross," Mac mumbled, going to the kitchen to grab some water and some of the last of the leftovers.

Dick laughed and joined in the kitchen as Logan went to go find Veronica. He told himself that he wanted to see how she was feeling, but in reality he wanted to talk.

He found her in the hot tube on the back deck. Her head was leaning back against the hot tube and her eyes were closed. The moon shined down on her and a thick fog of steam surrounded her. Logan felt a familiar tightening in his pants as he gazed at her face. His eyes moved down to see the top of the black bikini she had on and the curve of her breast before everything disappeared under water. He smirked and mentally captured the image before turning around and going back inside to change into the one swimsuit he'd brought with him. Neither Dick nor Mac noticed him in his bathing suit. They were too busy laughing in the kitchen. He snuck onto the deck and smiled, seeing that she hadn't moved a muscle.

"Hey," he said, making her open her eyes.

She looked up at him and even in the moonlight he noticed how her eyes darkened at the sight of him. Her gaze started at his muscular caves and then worked her way up to the swim trunks that did little to hide his plentiful package. She felt herself growing warm as she took in his happy trail and well-defined abs – both of which she loved to explore when they were in bed together. She finally settled on his face and the smoldering look there, his eyes seemed to cut right through her to the center of her soul.

Her breath hitched as their eyes connected and she swore she'd never seen anyone as beautiful as Logan.

"Want some company?" he asked, already stepping into the hot tub.

She bit her lip as she watched him shiver from the heated water. She clenched her thighs together as he came closer.

"Sure," she said, cringing at how screechy and high the word came out.

He smirked as she cleared her throat.

"So how was the rest of your day?" he asked nonchalantly.

She looked away, thinking about how Arnold had dropped her off and fished for an invite inside. She blew him off and went into the cabin, needing to be alone to work her frustration out. And maybe she cry a little too.

"Good," she said vaguely. "Yours?" she asked, flickering her eyes over to him.

"Good." He copied her vagueness and they both relaxed into the water. Or at least Logan relaxed; Veronica was extremely tense.

"Nice. You found the hot tub," Dick said from the back door. He turned to Mac and nudged her. "Wanna get in?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. She grinned and nodded. They disappeared for a bit before coming back with towels and their swimsuits on. Veronica begrudgingly moved closer to Logan and Mac and Dick slid in across from them.

"How're you feeling?" Mac asked Veronica.

She shrugged and tilted her head back to look at the stars. "Okay," she said, hoping her posture didn't betray her emotional frailty.

"How was Arnold?" Dick joked, watching Logan tense at the mere mention of the Aussie's name.

"He was nice," Veronica said, maintaining the vagueness.

"Did he have a big—" Dick began.

"Dick!" Logan snarled, effectively cutting him off.

Dick shrugged and turned to Mac. "You were awesome out on the slopes. You're a really fast learner," he said, smiling at her.

She blushed and shrugged. "Thanks! It was a lot of fun. It was a great idea."

It was silent for a few minutes before Veronica turned to Logan with a blank expression.

"So where's your friend? I figured you'd want to bring her home," she said, trying to keep her tone light.

"Where's your friend?" Logan countered.

She felt her eyes narrowing as she stared him down. She turned away and looked at the Mac and Dick, a tense smile on her face.

"So should we make a bet to see how many girls Logan can sleep with before New Years? I know how much he likes his bimbos. Dick, I bet you'd win; you aren't really the monogamous type either. So how many girls can a guy sleep with in less than a week?" Veronica asked. She'd really intended to have the whole thing come off as a joke, but it sounded malicious even to her own ears.

"Wow, Veronica, could you turn any greener?" Logan snarled.

"It's not my fault you only go for bimbos. They sure do seem to tally up when we break up," she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew she was lashing out, but even with the voice in her head telling her to back off, she just couldn't bring herself to stop the words from unleashing.

"As opposed to how you deal with everything? By going for vanilla guys like Duncan and probably Piz, too, once we get back? Go ahead and show them the edited Veronica. You turn her on for everyone else, but I'm not fooled. In reality you're just as fucked up as I am. Face it, Veronica, I'm the best you ever had and it kills you that I can go out and have great sex while you have to settle for cuddling with boring guys," Logan spat.

She stared at him for a moment feeling as if she'd just stepped back in time. This hate; the anger and the vindictive words always cut through her and made her feel like she was sixteen again and having an all out battle with Logan on the Quad.

"Fuck you," she said before getting out of the hot tub charging into the house. Logan sat there for a moment not knowing whether or not he should go after her. He looked over at Dick and Mac who were looking everywhere, but at him.

He opened his mouth to say something when suddenly Veronica came back out onto the deck. She had a towel wrapped around her body, but her facial expression was livid.

"Why are you such a jackass? I put myself out there for you and then you leave me to go flirt with some – some redhead bimbo slut!" she yelled.

"You were the one flirting with that damn Australian! Fluttering you're eyes at him and practically falling at his feet. Why do you go after the most boring God awful men!"

"I went after you!"

"You never went after me! All you do is push me away and run! Did you ever even love me? Was last night's revelation some sick twisted joke? You say I'm a jackass...well, you're acting like a complete bitch!"

Veronica opened her mouth to retort when Dick suddenly stood up in the hot tub and began to make a big 'T' with his arms.

"Time out! Time the fuck out! You two need to leave. Mac and I have really enjoyed our day and we would appreciate ending it on a good note. So please, dudes, take your argument and your negativity inside," he said looking between them.

Mac nodded from her silent position in the hot tub.

Logan looked at Dick and then Veronica. He rolled his eyes and hoped out of the hot tub before walking into the house. Veronica followed him feeling like a kid who just got sent to the principal's office. The two of them sat at the dining room table wrapped in their own towels. Logan sat on the end of the table while the Veronica sat at the other end.

They stared at each other waiting for the first one to break. Veronica knew it would be Logan, but she also remembered her words from Christmas Eve night. She had to step outside her comfort level and meet him half way.

"Logan…" she trailed off and took a deep breath. "Logan, I'm worried about you," she said trying to be quiet.

He let out a bark of laughter and sat back in his seat with his hands behind his head. "You're worried about me? That's incredible, Veronica. What do I do that's so worrisome? Do I go after serial rapists? Go into bars owned by the mob? Do I take on men twice my size?" he mocked.

She glared and crossed her arms over her chest in defense as if she could ward off his anger. "I'm worried you're going to get sucked back into this cycle you get into after we break up."

"What cycle?"

"The one where you drink yourself into a stupor by day sleep with bimbos and use them by night. It's not healthy. When we break up—"

"When we break up you freeze everyone out and then go for some nice and normal guy. Some guy who won't make you think too much or feel too much. Some guy who will never challenge you. What's the difference? I sleep with bimbos and you decide to pretend to be something you aren't," he snarled.

She gritted her teeth and stood up, taking a step closer to him. "That's not how it is—"

"What happened to wanting to change? All you do, Veronica, is give me these words – these false words and then you go back to doing the same thing. Accusing me of raping you and then saying you trust me, then blaming me for killing Lilly. Not trusting me about Mexico. You don't trust me! And you never will because you have these walls up! If only you could let me in we would be able to communicate, but all you do is shut me out." He paused and shook his head an ironic smile on his lips. "God, you can't even tell me you love me without me pushing you to answer," he whispered, staring at her with such an intensity it made her stomach turn to butterflies.

She opened her mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say. Her first thought was to deny it, but she couldn't even do that at this point because she knew he was right. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered, hating her self for the tremor in her voice.

"Yeah, me too," he mumbled, raking a hand through his hair. "I mean I thought we actually got somewhere on Christmas Eve. And then last night you told me you were—you were heartbroken." He finished off softly. He stared at her for a moment and she seemed unable to break the contact. He saw the same look in her eyes that he had seen during Alterna-Prom. He gulped and looked away, unable to continue looking at her when everything she did hurt him so badly. God, he was fucked up. He loved her so much and yet she always found a way to hurt him. He didn't think it was intentional, but still it hurt. And yet he still loved her. He wondered if he would ever stop or they would continue this awful cycle of hurting one another.

"I was drunk," she said, biting the inside of her cheek so hard she drew blood. "I don't remember what I said," she added before turning and going up the stairs. Logan watched after her wondering if this was how she felt after Alterna-Prom. He went to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle before going upstairs to his own room.

 

* * *

 

"They are impossible," Dick said, sitting back down in the hot tub and wrapping an arm around Mac.

Mac raised an eyebrow at the gesture and gave him a pointed look. He either chose to ignore it or didn't notice because he left his arm there.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked, looking pointedly at the arm around her.

"Warming you up," he said with a gleeful expression.

She smiled slightly. "I think the hot tub is doing that."

"Maybe, but I'm warmer," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She laughed and shook her head, but she didn't ask him to remove his arm either. Instead she cuddled up into his side and they looked up at the stars together.

"What do you think about what Ronnie said?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

Mac sighed, "Which part?"

"The monogamy part. I mean about me."

Mac was silent for awhile. "I'm not sure. I mean, you have slept with a lot of girls, but I mean that's—that's none of my business. I'm going to guess you were monogamous with Madison," she said quietly.

"I was. Mostly," he said with a shrug.

She stayed quiet waiting for him to go on.

"I mean, Madison though…I wasn't so into being monogamous with her. She wasn't the best girlfriend," he added sheepishly.

Mac let a burst of laughter through her lips and shook her head. "You don't say."

"No, dude, you have to understand, Madison's kinda – well she is a bitch and it sucked being her boyfriend," Dick said, trying to get Mac to understand.

"Okay," Mac said, pulling away from him slightly and looking up at him. "I believe that."

"What I'm trying to say is that…I'm not really into the whole monogamous thing because of how everything went down with Madison. I mean we're only young once," he said.

"We are," she agreed, not knowing exactly where Dick was going with this.

They stared at each other for a moment before Dick broke the silence.

"So…we're cool?" he asked, wanting to know if she got what he was trying to say.

"Sure?" she said, frowning. She wasn't exactly sure what she was agreeing to, but she thought it might have something to do with agreeing that she didn't want a monogamous relationship with Dick. Which wasn't the case because well she wasn't really into sleeping with everyone and their mother like some people were. But on the other hand she figured she didn't even know what Dick was really into. Maybe they had to explore whatever it was that was between them before she decided if she even wanted to date him, let alone be monogamous. She figured she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

"Cool," he said with a nod, looking back up at the stars.

She leaned back against him and let her head rest on his shoulder before pointing out a few constellations to him that she remembered from years ago. She was surprised to learn he knew where the Big Dipper was and Sirius.

"So I have a confession," he said after awhile.

She was starting to get pruny, but she didn't mind. Hanging out with Dick was by far not the worst thing she could be doing.

"What?" she asked, smiling at the nervous look on his face.

"This is the best Christmas I've ever had," he said, anxiously looking away from her.

She grinned widely and moved closer to him. "Really?"

"Yeah I mean, the ones we had when we were younger were just…I don't know, fake I guess. Dad would give us checks and mom would call for a five minute conversation. It just…it was always just Beaver and I, and now—" he stopped, needing to take a breath before he continued. "Now it's just me. And you—you made it a lot better so thanks for coming, and just…being you," he finished off feeling lame for sounding like such a girl.

Her grin widened and she felt an unfamiliar warmth in her chest at his words. "I didn't do anything Dick," she protested.

"Mac, you did everything. You were here and well you're the only sanity in this insanity," he said, gesturing back to the house where they heard a door slam.

"That is true, but—"

"This could've been a really awful Christmas – the worst one yet - and you being here it makes it so much better," he said, looking into her deep blue eyes.

She felt a blush rise to her cheeks and she opened her mouth to comfort him, but instead his soft lips landed on hers. At first she froze, not knowing what to do. But then she kissed him back enjoying the sweet sensation too much not to do anything. His lips moved against hers and she felt the velvety sensation of his tongue prodding the seam of her lips. She allowed him access and their tongues became entangled, much like their bodies were. It was totally unlike the mistletoe kiss they had shared. This one was passionate and demanding. It was scary and the start of something new - Mac could feel it in her bones. She let out a soft noise when Dick pulled away. They both were breathing heavily, but before Mac could catch her breath Dick's head dipped back down to capture her lips again. She curled her hands into his silky blonde hair and pulled him closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. When he felt the tell tale signs of his excitement, he reluctantly pulled away.

"What?" she breathed, leaning back down to kiss him again.

He grimaced and cleared his throat, feeling self-conscious. The feeling was totally new to Dick.

"Just – uh you're a virgin so I think, I mean—we uh..." he stuttered before gesturing to his lap.

She blushed and moved out of his lap. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.

He chuckled, "Don't be." He moved in for another kiss and they became entangled in one another once again. When breathing became an issue they broke apart and unwillingly they removed themselves from the hot tub. Together they went back inside and hesitantly said 'goodnight' to the other. Each went to bed with a large smile on their face and hope for the next day.


	7. More Than You Could Ever Know

For the first time in his life, Dick Casablancas was awake before everyone else. He had woken first because couldn't seem to stop thinking about Mac and what had happened the evening before in the hot tub. Once he was awake and up, he saw that it had snowed during the night and there was a fresh blanket of snow on the ground.

He cozied up in a chair to watch the snow which was still falling. He had mixed feelings about what had happened the day before. He was happy because he liked being around Mac, but he was conflicted. Mac was the type of girl who didn't date casually. And Dick wasn't interested in dating her seriously. He was Dick Casablancas—no girl held him down.

As much as he liked Mac, he wasn't willing give up his partying ways for her. With a firm nod he went about his business until the rest of the houseguests were awake. Dick could sense immediately that, like him, everyone seemed emotionally drained and unsatisfied after the events of the previous night. He noticed that Veronica and Logan were extra distant to each other and Mac was on eggshells around him. He wished he could read her mind. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Let's go outside," Dick announced to the dreary room.

"Why?" Veronica asked, flipping through the channels.

"It's boring in here," Dick said with a shrug.

They all glanced curiously at each other but followed his lead. They went to go don snow clothes and joined Dick outdoors. When everyone got outside they looked expectantly at Dick, waiting for something to magically appear for them to do.

Dick leaned down and gathered up a handful of snow before launching it at Logan who had been looking off in the distance. The sloppy snowball hit him in the side of the head and Veronica burst into giggles at the look on his face.

"What the hell, Dick!" Logan exclaimed, staring at his friend in anger.

Dick laughed, turned, and ran towards Mac who was smiling at the display.

Logan scowled, reached down to gather a snowball. He threw it towards his friend, but Dick stealthily jumped behind Mac, using her as a human shield.

Mac let out a shriek as Logan's snowball pelted her in the face.

"No one hurts my woman!" Dick yelled before throwing another snowball and watching as it hit Logan.

"Thanks, Dick. You're positive proof that chivalry is dead," Mac laughed as she gathered her own snow and packed it into a ball. She launched it at Logan who finally moved out of the way. It landed on Veronica who was trying, unsuccessfully, to hide behind him.

Logan quickly turned the patio table on its side and grabbed Veronica, pulling her behind it so they were shielded from Dick's snowballs while they made their own plan of attack.

Seeing this, Mac took Dick by the arm and drug him down the small hill in the backyard to the tree line. Despite the tracks they'd left in the snow, she thought they were pretty well hidden. Dick noticed that Mac had a good arm so he quickly made a bunch of snowballs so they could throw more of them at Veronica and Logan.

After a few minutes prep spent making snowballs, Logan and Veronica had decided go on the offensive. Veronica was so small that she could dart in and out of the trees quickly. Logan followed, less stealthily behind her, the snowballs in loaded in his arms so that he could keep her well supplied with ammo.

Logan built a shield of branches at the edge of the tree line for him and Veronica to hide behind as they approached their foes. Dick and Mac remained hidden amongst the trees. It had been a very long time since the four of them had had fun like this. Each team taunted the other good-naturedly.

"Here's the plan. We need to attack from both sides. You'll have to carry your own snowballs so start making more. We will wait them out and then go all in," Logan commanded.

Veronica nodded and frantically followed his advice.

On the other side of the yard in the trees, Dick and Mac continued to throw snowballs in the direction that they thought the other couple was hiding, but stopped when they noticed they weren't being returned.

Logan and Veronica waited patiently so they could get an exact location on the other couple. Finally, after a two-minute, silent stand off, Mac and Dick popped their heads out from behind the trees to see what was going on. They both got a face full of snow. Logan and Veronica laughed, and high-fived each other on their successful plan. Soon Veronica and Logan were covered in show when Mac and Dick got their revenge. All four of them couldn't stop laughing. They all stayed outside making snow angles and snowmen until they couldn't feel their fingers and toes anymore. Tired and joyful, the friends happily filed back into the house to thaw out.

Veronica was happy that the tenseness of the previous evening had disappeared. If only we could work this well together all the time, she mused. Maybe being friends with Logan and Dick wouldn't be so bad after all.

 

* * *

 

Veronica took a deep breath before knocking on the door of Logan's bedroom. She fidgeted with the long sleeve sweater she had pulled on to get warm after the snowball fight.

"Hey," Logan said, surprised to find her on the other side of the door.

"Hey," she said, feeling shy all of a sudden.

He moved back and gestured for her to come in. She hesitantly walked across the threshold and gave him a wobbly smile before sitting on his bed. He sat next to her looking just as fidgety.

"What's up?" he asked when she didn't start talking.

She looked down at her hands and told herself to suck it up and just talk to him. "I had fun today," she said finally, forcing herself to look at him.

"Me too," he said, waiting for her to go on. Surely she didn't just come to his room to tell him that she had fun.

"I'm tired of this rollercoaster that we're on," she finally blurted out.

He nodded, knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Me too," he admitted quietly.

"I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I'm sorry for last night. It's just when I saw you last night with that girl...I don't know I went a little nuts," she said, running a hand through her hair. She began to fidget with the end of her ponytail and Logan smiled, a memory of Veronica doing the same exact thing when she was younger popped into his mind.

"For the record, V, I will never grow tired of hearing you apologize," he said, smirking slightly at her eye roll.

"I didn't mean for things to get like this," she said quietly, looking him in the eye. She paused before letting out a long sigh. "It's just when I saw you with her I got a little—"

"Jealous?" he asked.

She wondered if she was imaging the hope she heard in his voice.

She nodded begrudgingly. "I did. I didn't mean for it to happen, but sometimes…" she trailed off. "I really do want to be friends. It's just…I don't know if I can just sit by and watch you flirt with girls," she finished off hopelessly.

Logan watched her struggle with trying to open herself up to him and he couldn't deny that it brought him joy. He wasn't happy that she was struggling, but he was happy that she was finally telling him what he wanted to hear. He could read between the lines.

"I know I have no right telling you this since we aren't together. I mean—" she began, feeling ridiculous that she was even telling him how she felt. She knew she wanted to make more of an effort, but actually telling him was a lot harder than she'd thought it would be. He was looking at her like she was crazy and she was finding it awfully difficult maintaining eye contact with him.

"I only flirted with her because you said you liked Arnold," Logan said, practically spitting out the other guy's name.

Veronica's eyes searched his to see if he was mocking her, but all she saw was sincerity. "I don't _like_ him. He's just nice," she said dumbly.

"Yeah, but you always go for nice guys especially after we break up," he said, rubbing his neck and looking bashful.

She smiled sadly while watching him. She knew him well enough to notice the insecurities that he had but hid so well. Most people didn't notice them. They just attributed his attitude to his usual jackass self, but Logan was way more insecure than anyone actually knew. Veronica sometimes forgot that underneath the show he put on, he was just as vulnerable as she was.

"Well not this time," she said, wanting him to believe her. She wanted to take him in her arms and hug away the hurt in his eyes.

"Maybe I did jump to conclusions too quickly," he admitted.

They shared a shy smile and Veronica felt the familiar gooeyness in her stomach that always happened in sharing these moments with her Logan. After all, she was one of the few people that got to see this side of him.

"So can we start over as friends?" he asked hopefully. "As a friend, I promise not to not taunt you with bimbos."

Veronica nodded, feeling her heart sink only a little at the word 'friends.'

"Yeah, sure, of course," she said hurriedly. She reached over and gave him a quick hug before leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

"How do I look?" Veronica asked worriedly.

Mac looked over at her and let her eyes get comically big. "Logan is going to love it," she said with a resolute nod.

Veronica looked at herself in the mirror and tugged nervously on her black sleeveless, form-fitting zipper dress. It was a dress Lilly would have pressured Veronica to wear if she was still alive. It was made of a tight material that hugged Veronica's curves and stopped mid thigh. The skirt showed off her toned legs and on her feet were a pair of black strappy heels that gave her an extra few inches of height. She hoped the walkways were shoveled by the time they got there or she would need to be carried from the car.

"Are you sure I look okay?" Veronica asked, tugging the skirt down some more. Mac, who was dressed in a short jean skirt, boots, and a red tank top, nodded.

"I don't think I've ever seen you nervous before," Mac said thoughtfully.

Veronica rolled her eyes and grabbed her jacket before double-checking her make up. "It doesn't happen often," she agreed, brushing the comment off.

Mac chuckled and came up behind her in the mirror. "It'll be okay, V, just relax. You and Logan will find your way back to each other."

Veronica let out a high-pitched laugh and turned to look at her with wide eyes. "I don't want Logan! I mean, we're just friends. God, I didn't dress up for him or anything. We're just friends," she protested a little too vehemently.

Mac raised an eyebrow but held up her hands in a defense gesture. "Okay, okay, I get it. Geez, now let's go dance," she said, ushering Veronica out of her room.

The two girls walked down the stairs unnoticed. Dick and Logan were busy arguing about how to get drunk the quickest way possible. Dick maintained that it was by chugging beer and Logan thought it was by taking shots.

"Men," Veronica said, rolling her eyes and shooting Mac a look. Mac giggled in response.

By the time the women had made their way over to them, the boys had stopped arguing and looked at their respective woman with appreciative eyes. Appreciative eyes might have been an understatement however. Dick's mouth was hanging open at the sight of Mac and Logan was having a hard to resisting the urge to put his hands all over Veronica's body. He had the sudden need to pick her up and take her to his bed, vowing not to see daylight for days.

"You look hot," Dick said, wrapping an arm around Mac and directing her to the door. She laughed and let him guide her toward the car.

Logan bowed his head and held out an arm for Veronica who graciously took it. She blushed, noticing how Logan was unable to take his eyes off of her. "You look fantastic," he whispered in her ear.

She grinned and shrugged. "Oh, this old thing? Just another gift from one of my suitors," she said in her best southern belle voice.

He laughed and tightened his hold on her arm. "If I do recall, you wore that on one of our dates not too long ago. My favorite feature of the dress is that zipper that goes from top to bottom," he said, eyeing the trail of the zipper from the front of her cleavage to the bottom where it ended.

She rolled her eyes, but blushed anyway as she led him to follow after Mac and Dick.

The drive over to the party was short and easy. The two couples walked in to find the party in full form. Dan spotted them almost immediately and approached them with four beers.

"Beer anyone?" he asked, passing around the bottles.

Logan and Dick took one appreciatively, but Mac asked for liquor drink and Veronica declined the remaining beer.

"Do you want a mixed drink too?" Dan asked, looking at Veronica.

"I can get you one," he added.

"She doesn't," Logan said quickly before Veronica could answer.

Dan nodded and pulled Mac through the crowd toward the kitchen. Veronica noticed Dick watching apprehensively as Mac's blue streaked hair disappeared into the crowd.

"Thanks," Veronica mumbled, shooting Logan an appreciative look.

Logan shrugged it off and drank more of his beer. The three of them stood around until some girls came up to talk to them. Veronica wasn't paying much attention because she was too focused on waiting for Mac to return. She was starting to get worried; Mac and Dan were taking too long.

"Hey, Veronica," Logan said, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" she asked, noticing that Dick was nowhere in sight and the girls were gone too.

"Are you going to be okay here?" he asked, watching her closely.

She began to object, but reminded herself that she couldn't hold Logan's attention all night. They were only friends after all. Even when they were dating he often went off to go do his own thing at parties. She was usually left to sit in the kitchen and talk to some people she had nothing in common with. When they were younger she would latch herself to Lilly at the parties they went to – and now she usually dragged Wallace along. She knew she couldn't ask Logan to stay with her all night. She was just going to have to find other people to talk to.

"Yeah, no problem," she said, nodding vehemently.

He gave her a smile and squeezed her hand before making his way through the party. She noticed that a girl was standing there at the doorway. He said something to her and they disappeared into the next room.

Immediately Veronica felt a hot sensation twist in her belly and the green eyed monster hit her full force. She reminded herself that she had asked him not to flirt with girls in front of her. It appeared that he was taking her request quite literally. Now he was just going to flirt with the bimbos behind closed doors…or maybe do more than flirt.

Part of her knew that she was letting her imagination run wild, but she knew him well enough to worry. She angrily turned away to go find Mac when she ran smack into Arnold.

"Hey," he said, holding a beer out to her.

"Hey," she said taking the beer without thinking and eyeing it. She wasn't angry enough to drink something unopened, but once she saw that it was still sealed, she decided to take a page out of Logan's book and drink. She downed the beer easily in a few minutes as Arnold talked to her.

She wasn't sure what he was saying. She didn't care. She just didn't want to deal with all of these emotions anymore. The easiest solution seemed to be following Logan's lead. If Logan gets drunk to chase away the demons, I can do it too, she thought, opening a second beer.

From the other side of the party, Dick was watching Mac talk with Dan-the-Brit-Idiot. That's what he had dubbed him in his mind. He was taking a break from the backroom poker game that he and Logan were participating in to go check on Veronica and Mac and to get a beer.

While he was searching for a decent beer, Dick found Mac leaning against the refrigerator laughing with Dan as if last night had never happened. His first instinct in situations like this was usually to go find some girl to flirt with—to revel in the fact that he wasn't tied down. But then, as he watched Mac and Dan-the-Brit-Idiot become more familiar with one another, he felt an unfamiliar feeling bubble up within him. He found that he couldn't tear his eyes off of them. The longer he watched them, the more nauseous he became.

Dick Casablancas was jealous. He laughed out loud at the realization.

He'd never been jealous in his life. If he wanted a toy that another kid had, his dad would get it for him. If Madison was flirting with some other guy, he just found a girl to flirt with to drive her insane.

Dick had never been jealous.

Until he watched Mac flirt with Dan. Dick didn't even want to find some girl to flirt with to make her jealous. No, in fact he just wanted her. He didn't want some other girl. He just wanted Mac. All he wanted was Mac. His words from the night before came rushing back to him and he wanted to slap himself in the face for what he'd said. He didn't want to be in an open relationship or just hooking up with girls. He wanted monogamy and he wanted it with Mac.

He walked toward Mac, his stride purposeful.

"Hey, Dick you—" she began, but was effectively cut off by Dick's lips handing hard on hers. She felt her knees weaken and she leaned even further into the fridge as Dick's tongue plundered her mouth. By the time he finally pulled away from her, she felt like she had turned to jelly.

"Hi," he said, grinning down at her.

"Hey," she whispered before looking at Dan who was awkwardly still sitting there.

"I'll just…" he trailed off, quickly leaving them.

Mac giggled as Dick stuck his tongue out at Dan's retreating back. Then they got lost in one another.

 

* * *

 

 

It seemed to Veronica that the more Arnold talked, the easier it was to tune him out. Instead, Veronica concentrated on drinking. She wasn't sure how many beers she had drunk by this time. All she knew was that the gross taste of them was wearing off and now she just felt dizzy and warm.

"Veronica, do you want another beer?" Arnold asked stopping in the middle of some sob story.

"Actually…I want to dance," she slurred, standing up and leaving the couch. She wasn't sure where she was headed, but she followed the noise that was called music into the basement. The basement was dark. The only light came from Christmas lights strung up against the walls. All the bodies around her seemed to be moving together in one big mass. Someone handed her a glow stick and another beer and she joined the crowd without thinking. She popped open the beer and downed it before she began to gyrate with the other bodies. She closed her eyes, letting her body listen to the music, and began to move.

Just as she was finding her groove, she felt hands grip her waist and pull her closer. Her first instinct was that it was Logan.

"Logan?" she asked, opening her eyes and turning to the person behind her. She scowled when she saw that it was Arnold. She quickly moved away from him and went deeper into the mass of bodies. Her scowl deepened when she realized he was following her. She gave up dancing all together and, in an attempt to lose Arnold, went out the back door. The blast of cold air hit her like a knife. She had completely forgot that the temperature outside was barely in the twenties. She didn't notice Arnold following her. All her fuzzy drunk mind could concentrate on was finding Logan and going home.

In the back room, Logan had won the last round of poker. The others had decided to call it quits so they could go drink more. He collected his winnings and waved off the various flirty girls that wouldn't leave him alone once they learned his name. He left the back room and went in search of Dick who had never come back. He was unsurprised to find Mac and Dick heavily making out while pressed up against the refrigerator.

"Hey, Romeo, you ready to go?" Logan asked, tapping incessantly on Dick's shoulder. Dick made a moaning noise and Logan began to tap harder on his shoulder. Finally they broke apart and both glared at Logan.

"Where's Veronica?" Logan asked them.

Dick and Mac exchanged guilty looks before the three of them split up to go find the petite blonde. She wasn't in any of the upstairs rooms, she wasn't downstairs with the ravers, and she wasn't in any of the rooms on the main floor. Logan was worried but tried to tell himself that she was fine. They were hours from the dangers of Neptune and it wasn't like she was drunk or anything. She was fine, he thought, trying to put his racing heart at ease. Finally Logan decided to go check outside, thinking maybe she needed to get away from the noise.

He exited the house and surveyed all the people smoking outside trying to find the petite blonde detective.

"Get away from me!"

He looked around for the source of distress, immediately knowing it was Veronica. He began to walk away from the front of the house in search of her when he saw Veronica stomping through the snow in her heals with Arnold following behind her.

"What the hell's going on?" Logan snarled, seeing that Veronica was outside without a coat in her skimpy outfit.

"Logan!" she breathed, happy to see him. She reached out to him and he gathered her into his arms, trying to warm her frozen body. He brought her in close and wrapped his coat around the two of them.

"Why don't you have a coat on? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asked, firing off questions.

Veronica nuzzled her nose into his neck and breathed in his scent. "You smell good," she mumbled, wrapping her little arms around his waist to bring him closer.

He frowned and then looked up at Arnold who was glaring at them.

"What are you doing?" he asked, matching Arnold's glare.

"She ran outside without a coat," Arnold said, shrugging.

Logan moved step forward to intimate Arnold, but Veronica stopped him with her body cuddled against his.

"What did you do?" Logan snarled, wrapping his arms around Veronica in protection. He looked down at her, still nuzzling his neck, and then at Arnold who was glowering at them.

"Do? To her? Nothing! I didn't do anything. She drank a bunch of beer and then when we went to dance she started calling me 'Logan'. Then she left and came outside. She's bleeding crazy," Arnold said.

Logan blinked, trying to comprehend what Arnold had said. There were so many things in that sentence that didn't add up. Veronica and being drunk…Veronica calling anyone his name…and Veronica being called crazy by someone who didn't know her.

He took a step back from her and carefully stared down. Veronica made an angry noise at him for moving away from her.

"Are you drunk?" he asked incredulously.

She giggled. "As a skunk," she sang, lapsing into more giggles.

He grinned despite himself and then looked up at Arnold who was still watching them.

"Come anywhere near her ever again and I'll beat the shit out of you," he warned before taking her back inside to collect her coat, Dick and Mac.

"What's up with Ronnie?" Dick asked, confused as to why she was hanging all over Logan.

"She's drunk," Logan said simply, trying to get her to put her jacket on. She was giggling and shifting away from him trying to evade his grasp.

"Come on, Veronica," he commanded, nodding at Mac to try to help him. Between the two of them, they managed to wrangle her into her coat and into the car.

"It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you! No matter what I do! I feel the pain with or without you!" Veronica bellowed out as Logan started the car.

Mac watched with wide amazed eyes as Veronica belted out the *NSYNC lyrics.

"I am down on my knees I can't take it anymore. It's tearin out my heart when I'm with you. When I'm apart I feel it to. Lalalalala," Veronica bellowed, making Dick clap along from the front seat.

"You sing it, Ronnie," he encouraged, making Logan and Mac glare at him. "What? Ronnie never gets drunk anymore. You gotta let a girl live."

"Dick she doesn't get drunk anymore because even sober she brings trouble. I don't even want to know what could've happened…" he trailed off, bad scenarios fluttering through his brain.

"Lilly and I used to sing this allllll the time," Veronica slurred, putting her hand on Mac's shoulder. "This one time she even videotaped it. It was so horrible," she added, shaking her head. "It was her favorite break up song," she added, looking sad. "Mine was Torn," she added and began to move her head to a song only she could hear. "LaLaLa I'm all out of faith this is how I feel I'm cold and I'm chained laying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see. You're a little late I'm already torn. TOOOOORN." Veronica belted as they pulled into the driveway.

Logan quickly shut off the car and Veronica continued to sing much to the chagrin of himself and Mac. Dick couldn't seem to stop laughing until Mac glared at him.

"I can walk," Veronica slurred, moving out of Logan's grasp after he helped her out of the car.

Mac and Dick went ahead to unlock the door and Logan hovered behind Veronica as she tried not to slip on the ice. Once they were inside Veronica eagerly took her heels off and went to flop on the couch.

"Do you want any help?" Mac asked, looking over at Veronica who wrapped herself in a blanket and looked over at them expectantly.

"No I got it," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"Cool, dude. We'll be in the hot tub," Dick said, wiggling his eyebrows at Logan.

Mac gave Dick a disapproving look, but Logan waved them off as they both headed upstairs.

"Where are they going?" Veronica whined, reaching her hands out to Logan. He walked over to her and stood right out of her grasp. She moved forward on to her knees and pulled him down onto the couch beside her. She cuddled back into his body and he reluctantly wrapped his arms around her.

"Veronica—" he began.

"Shhhh, Logan. This is nice," She whispered, closing her eyes momentarily.

"How about we move upstairs?" he suggested.

"But I want to watch a movie," she whined.

"My room has a TV. Come on," he said, picking her up and carrying her upstairs. She wrapped her arms around his neck. When they got to his room he tried to put her on the mattress, but she wouldn't let go. In fact, she didn't let go until he consented to climb into the bed next to her.

She snuggled up close to him and rested her head on his chest. She breathed in deeply and nuzzled her face into his shirt like she had earlier.

"What are you doing?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Remembering this," she whispered before rolling away and going to the TV where a few movies sat beside the DVD player.

"What do you wanna watch?" she asked, giddily holding up a few DVDs.

"How about we talk," he suggested, patting the spot she had just vacated.

She pouted and dropped the movies before going back the spot he had indicated. She cuddled into his side and he wrapped his arms back around her.

"Why did you get drunk, Veronica?" he asked curiously. The question had been on the tip of his tongue all night since Arnold had told him. It was so out of character for her to drink, there had to be a reason.

He felt her freeze for a moment before she looked up at him with wide blue eyes.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

"Yes you do," he said, giving her a look.

"Where did you go tonight?" she countered, not wanting to concentrate on her and her own problems just yet. She may be drunk, but she could still evade questions she had no desire to answer.

"There was a poker game going on in the back room," he said easily.

She frowned, "Why didn't you invite me?"

"I didn't think you'd approve of such blatant disregard for large sums of money."

She huffed and rolled onto her stomach so she could look him in the eyes. She rested her chin on his chest and let her eyes connect with his.

"I may be using one of your own tactics to get over you," she said simply, as if she was discussing the weather.

"What?" he asked, confused.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You get drunk after we break up. I wanted to know if it works - if maybe drowning my sorrows and feelings would make me feel better," she said quietly.

"And do you?"

She sadly shook her head, "No. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Feel better?"

He gazed at her and contemplated her question. "How drunk are you?"

"I don't know."

"How many drinks have you had?"

She shrugged, "Arnold kept giving me beer."

Logan scowled, "Arnold's a stupid asshole."

"And boring," she added with a resolute nod of the head.

He grinned at that and tucked her head under his chin. "Don't be like me, Veronica. Don't drink your troubles away. You're better than that," he said.

She laughed. "No I'm not. I'm just as screwed up as you are. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't have addictions too. Hello – have you met me? I have an addiction to finding the truth. And can't seem to let the only guy I've ever cared about in. I'm supremely messed up. I'm Veronica Unable-to-deal-with-her-issues Mars," she said. "Thank you for coming to find me," she finished off sadly.

Logan sighed and tightened his hold around her waist. "We're quite a pair aren't we, Mars," he said quietly.

"Yeah, we definitely are," she whispered, feeling tears pool in her eyes.

They were quiet for a while. Logan listened to Veronica's breathing and Veronica concentrated on not crying.

"You know, for this friendship to work, you might need to be able to open up to me like this while you are actually sober, sweetheart," Logan said, kissing her temple. His tone was light but she knew he was serious. And she knew he was right. They both contemplated this fact for a few moments.

"I don't feel better," he whispered, breaking the silence.

"Good," she mumbled before squeezing her eyes shut to hold back the tears. Eventually they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, both holding back how they really felt.


	8. Make My Wish Come True

"I'm not really sure what to do," Veronica admitted quietly.

Mac opened her eyes and regarded her friend. The two of them were in a mud bath that had been prepared for them at the spa. Their decision to cash in on their spa gift from Logan that day had been an easy one. The foursome hadn't planned anything else to do that day and both Mac and Veronica had boy issues they wanted to discuss. They had already completed their massage, mani-pedi, and a facial before settling into their mud bath. Neither of them had brought up their issues with their male counterparts until now.

"What?" Mac asked, opening her eyes and blinking at the dull lighting in the room.

"I'm not sure what to do about Logan," Veronica said with a sigh.

Mac cleared her throat and waited for her friend to continue. It was very rare for Veronica to confide in her - especially about Logan. Mac knew the majority of Veronica and Logan's story, but there was still quite a bit that she had just inferred. After watching them interact this past week, she felt she understood them a lot better. She wished they could move past their issues so they could just be together. Mac thought that, despite all their issues, Logan and Veronica were fundamentally perfect for each other. She wouldn't have agreed to help Dick if she hadn't thought so. But Mac and Dick could only help their friends so much. Eventually the couple would have to make the decision for themselves to actually be together.

"I know I said that I was okay with Logan and I just being friends but…" Veronica sighed and moved to run a hand through her hair before she remembered she was covered in mud and dropped it back down into the bath. Mac watched as Veronica fidgeted before she finally settled back against the wall.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I can be what Logan needs. I mean, I'm not sure if you know this, but I…I might have f-feelings for him again," Veronica stuttered, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"Really?" Mac asked sarcastically.

"I know that I said we were just friends, but I care about him a lot," Veronica struggled to say, too distracted by her own thoughts to pick up on Mac's sarcasm.

Mac smirked, watching as Veronica avoided her gaze. "But now - after this weekend, I don't think I'm what he needs. I mean honestly – I'm embarrassed to be here."

"Why?" Mac asked, frowning. She had been having a great week so far, especially with Dick. She smiled slightly as she thought about everything that had happened.

"Just because of Logan!" Veronica said in exasperation.

"What about him? I mean yeah you guys have been fighting, but that's just how you are," Mac said, shrugging.

"Just everything! I mean I shouldn't have even called him in the first place. He didn't make any move to contact me after the whole Mercer thing. Wait – what do you mean that's how we are?" Veronica asked, frowning at Mac.

Mac bit her tongue and gestured for her friend to continue. Veronica wasn't about to let the comment slide. She stubbornly sat there and stared at Mac, waiting for her to explain herself. Mac finally relented.

"I don't mean it in a bad way," Mac began sympathetically. "You guys both have strong personalities and you have a lot to overcome…not to mention the fact that you both completely suck at communication."

Veronica sighed and looked away. "But I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to have to overcome all of this stuff to be together. I mean how do I even know he still loves me? I was so scared after the whole Mercer and Moe attack and I waited for him to call me and then... I was the one to finally reach out. I think we're actually done. For real this time," she finished, sadly.

She looked off in the distance and then turned to look at Mac who was gnawing on her bottom lip. "I should've taken the hint when he didn't call. I mean, I'm sure he cares, but I feel like it says something if a girl gets attacked and the boyfriend doesn't even call. Or ex-boyfriend or friend - whatever the hell we are!" she finished, throwing her hands up and sending mud flying across the room.

Mac nodded mutely, watching as Veronica had her own little hissy fit in the mud bath. Finally Veronica looked up to her and tilted her head. "What do you think?" she asked.

Mac shrugged and looked away, knowing Veronica didn't actually want to know what she thought.

"Mac, please. I need to know," Veronica whispered.

Mac cracked like a walnut. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" she said, looking expectantly at her best friend. "Because I can continue to smile and nod while you talk if you want me to."

Veronica was surprised at her friend's vehemence and could only manage a slight nod in response.

"Veronica, Logan went to jail for you," she finally blurted out.

"What?" she asked, confused. Her head was spinning.

"After the whole Moe and Mercer attack, Logan purposefully got arrested. For you. To hurt them for hurting you," Mac said, frustrated.

Veronica looked away, feeling a familiar ache in her heart. Logan always was her white knight. She should have known he would do something. He always saved her or protected her somehow.

"Listen, Veronica, I'm your friend and I'll always be your friend, but you need to realize what's right in front of you. Logan loves you! Dick told me that Logan didn't come to you right after the whole Mercer things because he was ashamed. He was the one who put you in that position in the first place. He already feels guilty enough about you being raped in high school and then he almost got you raped again. He couldn't protect you, yet again, and that killed him. But he didn't want you to think that he went after Mercer and Moe to win you back. He didn't want you to know about any of it. I am amazed you didn't figure it out yourself, quite frankly," Mac said quietly.

Veronica blinked rapidly, trying to fully grasp what Mac had just told her. Logan loved her? And he beat up Mercer and Moe? And he still felt really guilty about what happened at Shelly's party? She shouldn't be surprised, but she was. Could he still love her after everything that had happened? He had broken up with her.

Armed with this new information, Veronica cringed at her behavior this past week. How could he still want her after everything that had happened? She thought about Never Have I Ever, the older couple at the grocery store and the several fights they had since they had arrived. But she smiled next as she thought about falling asleep in his arms the night before and how she got to wake up there too. She had watched him sleep that morning before she crept back to her own room to ready for the spa day. She hadn't seen him since then, but she hadn't stopped thinking about him since the moment she had opened her eyes.

"Veronica, I know you've dealt with a lot. We all have. Everyone has their own shit to deal with. I mean, I'm lusting after my dead, murdering, rapist ex-boyfriend's man-whore of a brother who used to date the chick I was switched a birth with. Life is complicated. No one's life is perfect, but we have to deal." Mac cut herself off, wanting to take her time with what she said next since it was so imperative.

"Eventually you are going to have to take a risk and let Logan in. If you can't get past your issues, you're never going to be able to be with the man you love. Logan knows your history and he still loves you. He puts up with your craziness and he still loves you. He knows you are going to constantly put yourself in danger and he still loves you. He wants to be a better person for you because he loves you. The looks he gives you say everything! God, Veronica I used to be so jealous of how he looks at you. He looks at you like you're the only one in his world. And, if you want to know the truth, you look at him as if he's the only one in your world," Mac finished off softly.

Veronica opened her mouth to protest but she realized she couldn't because Mac was right. She was completely right and Veronica had no idea how she was only just now realizing it. She was silent for a few minutes taking in what Mac had said.

"Thank you," Veronica said quietly.

Mac nodded and leaned back, hoping the conversation would to lapse back into a comfortable silence. But Veronica thwarted her plan by asking the one question Mac hadn't anticipated after her speech.

"So what's going on between you and Dick?" Veronica asked, smirking when she saw Mac turn a delicate shade of pink.

"Oh…that," Mac said shyly.

Veronica grinned. "Come on, you know you wanna tell me. You just told me what I really needed to hear so the least you can do is tell me what's going on between you and Dick. I mean, didn't you just use the words Dick and lust in the same sentence?" she asked, giving Mac a look.

Mac rolled her eyes playfully and sighed. "Well, I like him and I think he likes me, but he gave me this stupid speech about not believing in monogamy."

Veronica scowled. "Well you'll have to fix that then. Just tell him you want to date him and no one else. Tell him you like him but aren't willing to share. He can't get you and sleep around; he has to make a choice. The only thing is though that you need to make sure you're ready to hear something you might not like. But, if I had to bet, I'd say that he will see that you are worth it."

Mac chuckled and regarded her friend. "Look at you giving me advice now. What changed your mind?" she asked, smirking when she saw Veronica blush lightly.

"Listen, Mac, you like Dick and you deserve to be happy. Do what your gut tells you," she said, quietly thinking about how she was going to do what her own gut told her to do too. She was done listening to her fight or flight instincts. She was going to stay and fight for Logan; she owed herself and him that much.

"I'm going to follow mine," Veronica added quietly. She thought of how she was going to have to step out of comfort zone and prove to him that she was willing to do what it took to keep him. All the crap in their past wasn't worth not being with the person she loved. Try as she might to deny it, she did love him.

* * *

 

"What happened last night with you and Ronnie?" Dick asked as he and Logan returned their equipment. While the girls had been at the spa, the two boys decided to go snowmobiling. Now that the sun was disappearing, they were dropping the equipment back at the lodge before returning to the cabin to meet the girls.

Logan glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are we going to have girl talk now, Dick? I thought that was scheduled for five - right after our manicures," he asked, smirking when Dick scoffed.

"I'm just asking, dude. I gotta know what kind of atmosphere I'm about to walk into when we get back," Dick said.

"Why? Bringing a hot girl over?" Logan asked, grinning when he saw Dick look uncomfortable.

"Dude, screw you. I'm interested in Mac." Dick surprised them both by blurting out the truth.

Logan's grin widened and he wiggled his eyebrows at his friend. "You and Mac, huh?" he asked.

Dick scowled at Logan's teasing. "I was thinking of asking her out."

Logan nodded; all traces of mocking were long gone. "Mac's a nice girl, Dick," he said quietly as they finally arrived at the car.

"Yeah," Dick said, smiling goofily. "But what are you and Ronnie doing? Like are you friends again? Fuck buddies? Like what? Cause I gotta know since the less fighting you and Ronnie do the more likely I can get Mac to agree to a date with me," Dick said, hoping that Logan and Veronica were on better terms than they had been the previous evening.

"We're fine. I mean, I don't know. I just feel like we've gotten closer, but it's for all the wrong reasons. She can't open up without using alcohol to lower her inhibitions. And if that's the case I don't think we have a future together," he said sadly.

Dick patted him awkwardly on the back before they got into the car. "Dude, sometimes love is a battlefield," Dick said, making Logan frown.

"Did you just quote Pat Benatar?" Logan asked incredulously.

"I don't know who he is," Dick said, making Logan laugh most of the way home.

When Dick and Logan got back to the cabin, they were not surprised to see the girls looking fresh and pink from the spa. Mac and Dick took one look at Logan and Veronica smiling shyly at each other and immediately went into the kitchen to start cooking dinner together. The banging and clattering from the kitchen became louder as Mac and Dick tried to whip up a meal. Every since the Christmas Eve dinner they cooked together they had taken it upon themselves to make each meal. They enjoyed spending the extra minutes alone.

"Can we talk?" Veronica asked over the din coming from the kitchen.

Logan nodded and they went up to his room. They sat on the bed, both feeling uncomfortable.

"Thanks for last night," she said, clearing her throat and hoping she sounded more put together than she felt.

"It was no problem," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, seriously. I really appreciate it. It's been an interesting holiday so far," she said, blushing at how many times in the past few days she'd been a hot mess and had to apologize.

"You've been through a lot lately," he said, looking up to meet her eyes.

"You have too," she said quietly.

He smiled slightly and let out a low sigh. "So how about for the rest of our time here we try a more relaxed mode."

She nodded and gave him a warm smile. "I think that's doable," she said before getting off the bed and going back downstairs.

 

* * *

 

 

The rest of the night was spent in the cabin. The friends ate dinner and watched a movie. When Mac and Dick started making out during the movie, Veronica gestured to Logan to make a break for it. He wholeheartedly agreed, and they snuck out for a star-lit walk through the neighborhood.

Neither Dick nor Mac noticed their friends were gone until they broke apart for air several minutes later. Mac moved to duck back down to continue their make out session when Dick put an arm on her shoulder to stop her.

"Listen, I know we have plans for tomorrow night, but I was thinking the next day maybe I could take you out?" he asked hopefully.

She noticed he was looking bashful and it made her grin. She heartily agreed and then kissed him again to seal the deal.

 

* * *

 

The next day the girls decided to go shopping to get ready for the dinner and a show that was planned for that night with the boys. Logan had surprised them with four tickets to Cirque De Soliel. No one had ever heard Veronica scream as loudly as this morning during breakfast when he had shared his plans for the evening. Since neither of the girls had brought anything nice enough to wear to Cirque, they decided to go to the boutiques in Tahoe. The only problem was that most of them were way more expensive than either of them was willing to spend.

"Maybe we should just go to K-Mart," Mac said, putting another dress back since it cost almost as much as her little bug did.

Veronica frowned and put the dress she was holding back as well. "Come on, let's go walk around a bit longer and then go sniff out K-Mart," she said, grinning when a woman gave her a scandalized look at the thought of K-mart.

They left the store and walked down the street until a lingerie store came into sight. Veronica grabbed Mac's arm and pulled her toward it.

"What are you doing?" Mac exclaimed, looking at Veronica in horror.

"Helping you," Veronica said as they entered.

"If I barely have money to spend on a dress how am I going to buy thousand dollar scraps of lace?" Mac hissed as Veronica drifted from her side and began to peruse.

"Mac, relax! Just look! Pick something fun out," Veronica said, winking at her.

Mac blushed brightly and moved toward Veronica, who was looking at some clearance items. "I don't know if I'm ready for this though," she said quietly.

Veronica gave her a look that told Mac that she understood. "Mac, buying lingerie doesn't mean you're ready. It's just for when you are ready. When Logan and I had our first time, I surprised him with lingerie and it was fun. It takes the awkwardness out of having a first time," she said, trying to make her friend feel better. "Listen, if you don't want to buy anything in here we can go back to dress shopping - that's fine. But remember that you don't always need a guy to wear lingerie. It's just fun if you do," Veronica said.

She then gestured to the door and looked Mac in the eye. "Do you want to go?" she asked.

Mac stared at her and then shook her head. "No."

Veronica grinned and shoved some bright blue lingerie at her. "Go try it on," she instructed before grabbing some red and black items and following her to the dressing rooms.

They both ended up buying a few items, despite the ridiculous pricing. When they left the store, Mac turned to Veronica with curious eyes.

"I never pegged you as one to be so into lingerie," Mac said as they continued walking towards another dress shop.

"It all was Lilly. She loved going lingerie shopping. I was always so embarrassed to go with her and then she finally made me buy something. She told me that I didn't need a man to wear lingerie and that it was just nice to feel sexy once in awhile. Lingerie, she said, did that. Knowing you are wearing something hot under your clothes always gives you courage," she said, her voice tinged with a forlornness that Mac had always heard when she talked of Lilly.

Mac smiled, "Thanks."

Veronica shrugged it off and pulled Mac into another store. "If we don't find anything here, I vote for K-mart," she muttered, drifting to the clearance rack. Mac nodded and they both began to browse. They were both surprised to find something they liked that wasn't too expensive. After a fun-filled day, they made it home just in time to get ready for Cirque and dinner that night.

* * *

 

"Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?" Logan asked as they drove home after their night out.

Veronica blushed and let her mind wander to the events of that evening. They had left around six for dinner, and she would never forget Logan's jaw drop at the sight of her in her dress. She had worn a red silky halter dress that accentuated her breasts and flowed down to just above her knees. She wore the same heels from the party a few nights earlier and she'd curled her hair. She'd even worn the earnings that he'd gotten her for Christmas. Mac wore a navy blue baby doll dress that showed off her legs, and her hair was done in a soft, loose bun with pieces of hair framing her face. Veronica almost laughed out loud when she saw Dick's reaction.

The dinner had gone well and the show was even better. Veronica had leaned so far over in her seat several times that Logan had to wrap an arm around her to keep her still. She wasn't complaining though. She had even snuggled into him at some parts. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much and she was pretty sure that her hands would take days to recover from clapping so hard at the performance. She'd never seen anything so amazing before in her life and she couldn't stop thanking Logan for getting them tickets.

"Actually you have, several times," she said as they got out of the car back at the cabin.

"Well then let me tell you several more times," he said, winking at her.

She rolled her eyes and looked over at Mac and Dick who were wrapped around each other. She frowned, feeling slightly jealous at how easily they were able to work through their own pasts while Veronica seemed rooted in the same spot.

She nudged Logan and he looked back at her and then over at them. He smiled sadly and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. They were both jealous at how seemingly easy Mac and Dick had it.

Logan opened the door of the cabin quickly so that they could get out of the cold. Dick moved past them to start a fire, and Mac curled on the couch in front of it. Neither Logan nor Veronica felt too comfortable sitting with Dick and Mac; they seemed so intimate.

"Do you want to get in the hot tub?" Logan asked, wanting to both do something with her and avoid being downstairs with Mac and Dick.

Veronica nodded and they both disappeared to change into their swimsuits. Once she had changed, Veronica tip-toed downstairs and saw Mac and Dick still cuddled by the fire. She swore they were more sickening than those Peeps that were coated in sugar and gelatin. She grabbed a towel before going outside and cursed herself for not bringing shoes with her. She uncovered the hot tub and climbed in. She settled back against the wall and fiddled with the controls to get the hot tub just as Logan joined her. Veronica had a hard time keeping her eyes away from him as they stared at his deliciously lean body. She could feel her heart beating faster as she took in the sight of him. She knew that tonight she was finally going to make good on what she'd talked about with Mac the day before.

Logan settled across from her and they smiled bashfully at each other. They were both quiet as they watched the snow fall around them as they sat in the hot tub.

"It's really beautiful here," he said, breaking the silence.

Veronica nodded absentmindedly as she stared at him, willing herself to muster the courage to talk to him. She felt herself threatening to burst at the seams. She wanted to pour everything out to him - everything she had wanted to say for months now, maybe even years.

"Yeah it is," she said quietly, her eyes still trained on him.

His eyes met hers and he gave her a grin as he slid deeper into the hot tub. She could feel his long legs pressing against her thighs and the skin-on-skin contact made her heart jump into her throat. She took a deep breath in and counted to ten before jumping off the metaphorical precipice and finally opening herself to Logan. It was something that was long overdue but she knew it was either open up now or lose him forever.

"You know, I've always been a bit jealous of how easily you can open up to people," she began. She looked down at the water and then forced herself to look back at him. "I mean that I'm scared to open up to you, but you've always had this ability to let me in and put down your walls. I've never been able to do that." She paused and glanced away before continuing. She wanted to get it all out before she lost her nerve. "Everyone that I let in always leaves me, but I really want you to know that you're worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. I want to open up to you; I want there to be an us. So my first question is why did you really break up with me on the quad?" she asked, her voice steadily getting softer.

He blinked, schooling his features and then took a deep breath. He knew he needed to answer her, but he knew that conversations like this with her never ended well. "Veronica, I don't want to fight tonight," he said warily.

"I know. I don't either, but I want to fix us. I want to be open with you and not be scared. I want us again. I'm ready to fight like you do for us. You're worth fighting for; we're worth fighting for," she said ardently.

He regarded her for a moment before he leaned his head back and stared at the sky. He finally turned his gaze back on her when he felt ready to go on.

"You were pulling away from me. Emotionally, that is. And you kept putting yourself in danger. I was in love with you, but you weren't ready or you didn't love me…I don't know which. I knew that I was going to just get in deeper and that you could easily discard me. You don't need me the way I need you and that's…it's scary to know that you love someone so much doesn't feel the same way. I figured it would be better to cut it off before I was in so deep to the point where I wasn't me anymore. I watched my mother worship my father until she was a shell of her former self. I couldn't let that happen to me. Does that make sense?" he asked, hoping she understood what he was trying to say.

She smiled sadly and nodded, "Yeah, but Logan, you couldn't be more wrong." She moved closer to him and put a hand on his cheek, wanting to look him in the eye when she told him everything. After hearing his answer she was now more determined than ever to open up to him. She took a deep breath and began to talk.

"I do need you. I need you so much that it's scary to even think about. Every time I tried to open up, I felt like I was kicked in the gut. After Alterna-Prom and your whole speech, I left because I needed to think everything over. Then, when I went to go see you and tell you everything I'm telling tell you now, Kendall was there. I was ready then to open up to you and put myself out there; I was scared and vulnerable and – fucking Kendall… just that scene with you and Kendall and how you opened the door it just… it hurt a lot and—like I told you the other night—it broke my heart. It made me put my walls back up," she said, stroking her fingers across his cheek. She looked away and dropped her hand. "I felt like you had just said these amazing words and then you turned around and slept with Kendall as if they meant nothing. You have to understand, Logan…I don't need words. I need actions. And when, after everything you told me, you slept with Kendall I was…skeptical and hurt. I didn't believe you actually loved me. Everyone just says words that they don't mean and then their actions speak louder. I was hurting and…" she trailed off and took a deep breath. When she looked back up at him she saw how badly he wanted to speak, but he knew her well enough to know she had more to say.

"After graduation…after finding out about Cassidy…and the whole thing with the rape, I felt like I had been raped all over again. And that was combined with the idea losing my dad…it was so much and I was trying to work through all of it. I still am. Then when the Hearst rapist made his move I felt like I'd found the final piece of a puzzle. If I found out who the rapist was then maybe my own problems could be fixed. If I could solve this case then it could help heal myself after what had happened to me. I had this tunnel vision going on and I knew I was putting myself in danger trying to find out the truth, but I told myself it would be okay once it was over." She paused and turned back to him with a sad smile, "It's like I was on a mission and, at the time, I felt like your concern was messing with my focus. So I totally disregarded everything you said and all of your warnings. After everything that happened in that dorm room…how close I came again to…I realize how much I've needed you all along." She raised her hands out of the water and cradled his face, wanting him to understand how badly she did need him.

"I needed you when Lilly died, at her memorial, in the River Styx, on the roof of the Grand, in the Hearst parking garage and so many other places. You are all I have ever needed, but I was so obsessed with finding the truth that I ignored it." She took a shaky breath in and closed her eyes briefly as if it pained her to say the next part. "After you broke up with me, I thought that I'd finally pushed you too far and I'd lost you for good. I didn't think you loved me anymore. I told myself that if I could just get you back as a friend that it would have to be enough. But I've been trying to be friends…and that's really good and dandy and everything, but… I want more. I want us again without all the drama and without all my issues. I'm willing to work through them."

She took a deep breath and gave him a sheepish smile. "Mac told me about you beating up Mercer and Moe in jail. Until she told me that, I had my doubts about all of this again. I thought I had lost you. I know it sounds totally insane, but you doing that showed me that you do love me. Until then I thought you'd stopped and that…" she paused and cleared her throat, hoping that he didn't notice the tears gathering in eyes and the slight break in her voice. She hated herself a little bit for crying about this, but she couldn't stop now that she was being honest with him.

"I know I have too much of baggage for anyone to love or put up with, but—" she began.

Logan cut her off swiftly with a kiss. Before she could respond he moved back and gave her a soft smile. He caressed her face and let out a low chuckle. "Oh, Bobcat, I wish you hadn't found out about that."

"About what?" she asked, confused and slightly disoriented from feeling Logan's lips on her own after so long. It had been almost four weeks—not that she was counting.

"Beating up Mercer and Moe. I didn't want you to find out," he said sheepishly.

She blinked and opened her mouth to respond, but he rushed forward before she could speak.

"And of course I still love you. I will always love you. I never stopped," he whispered, gazing deep into her eyes.

She blushed and nodded, believing him all the way to her soul.

"I wanted to go to you afterwards, but I thought that you wouldn't want me around. I practically served you to Mercer on a silver platter. And you never need help, remember?" he said softly.

"Didn't I just tell you that I do, though?" she asked in frustration.

He rolled his eyes. "Listen, I was ashamed. The whole thing was my fault. I got you involved with Mercer. I put you in that position, despite trying to protect you. I failed you," he said painfully.

She shook her head and moved as close as she could. She made him look her in the eyes and when he finally did she leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.

"You've never failed me. You could never fail me. That's not true, Logan. You've helped me. You're always protecting me, and as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes it's necessary," she said.

He chuckled. "Can I record that for the next time I screw up?"

She smiled sadly and leaned forward nuzzling his neck. "It's not your fault and I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was. It's as much my fault as it is yours. You aren't a disappointment. I'm so proud of who you are. You have no idea how much," she said quietly.

He nodded, feeling too choked up to respond.

"I want to start over. I don't want to just be your friend, Logan, but I think we should start there. I think we should build a friendship and let things progress naturally from there. I think moving slowly this time around would be beneficial," she said.

He nodded and leaned forward to press a soft kiss again her lips. Neither of them could express how grateful they were for the other so they showed each other instead. It didn't go beyond simple kisses and wandering hands. There was barely even any tongue, but the kisses reiterated their feelings. Eventually they pulled away, both knowing they would speed up if they weren't careful.

"Since Dick and Mac are going out tomorrow, which is really weird by the way, do you maybe want to do something?" he asked hopefully.

She nodded. "Sure, what do you want to do?" she asked, leaning against him.

He shrugged. "We could just drive around the lake and find some cool stuff to do. Just hang out together, build this thing you call a friendship," he said, smirking.

She grinned and snuggled into his side. "I'm not sure if it's called friendship when the two people in question kiss."

He chuckled. "It's friendship for now, I guess, but I do have a plan to turn it into more."

"I'm completely on board with that plan," she said with a nod.

He grinned. "So just to be clear, the rules of said friendship prohibit both of us from being with other people."

"Right, but we're going slow," she added.

"Right…slow," he said, smirking.

She smiled shyly back and they fell into silence.

"I'm glad you finally opened up," he said, quietly. "I'm proud of you. Was it as scary as you had anticipated?" he asked.

"No, you made it easy. And, strangely enough I'm kinda proud of myself too," she said, smiling to herself.

"Good. Because I'll be expecting you to be an open book from here on out," he said.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," she said, reaching down to hold his hand. They smiled at each other and continued to watch the snowfall, both content with their first honest conversation.


	9. Baby

Chapter 9

"How do I look?" Mac asked nervously. She was standing in the middle of her room trying to get Veronica's attention.

Veronica was sprawled across the bed, working on her computer. She had come in to help Mac get ready for her date, but after Mac shot down all of her suggestions Veronica gave up and retreated behind her computer.

Veronica was amazed at how familiar the atmosphere in the room was. She felt like she had gone back in time to freshman year of high school and she was helping Lilly get ready for one of her dates. Lilly would twirl around to show off her amazingness and make Veronica tell her that she looked beautiful. Veronica didn't mind; she had always enjoyed hanging out with Lilly regardless of what they did. With Mac it was so different and yet very much the same. Mac too asked Veronica for her opinion. And, like Lilly, she eventually shooed Veronica away. But Mac didn't want Veronica to just tell her what she wanted to hear. She wanted Veronica to be honest.

"You look great," Veronica said, feeling nostalgic. She hoped they had many more evenings like this together. It reminded Veronica of normal. It was refreshing.

"Are you sure? You don't think it's too—"

"You look great - I promise," Veronica said, closing her computer and sliding off the bed.

Mac nodded and fidgeted nervously with the hem of her shirt. She wore a pair of nice, light blue jeans and a blouse she had fortuitously packed at the last second. The blouse was a navy, silk V-neck shirt that showed off her cleavage. She paired it with a black winter jacket and a pair of black boots. She had put on a bit of make up and some understated jewelry. She really did look perfect.

There was a soft knock on the door and Mac shot Veronica a nervous look. Veronica urged her forward, and Mac walked to answer the door while trying to remain calm.

"Hi," Dick greeted with a wide grin.

"Hi," Mac replied, trying to keep her voice even so she didn't sound as nervous as she felt.

"You look hot," he declared, letting his eyes roam her body. She rolled her eyes and took his arm, leading him out of the room. They grabbed their outdoor things and then left the house calling 'goodbye' to Veronica and Logan.

Logan had begrudgingly let them use his car for the day. Dick opened the door for Mac and then climbed into the driver's side.

"So where are we going?" she asked eagerly as they began to drive.

"It's a surprise."

"Don't I even get a hint?"

Dick chuckled and shook his head. "No way, dude, it's a surprise. But prepare to be impressed," he said in a grandiose voice.

Mac grinned to herself and looked out the window, excited to see where they were going. They drove for a while occasionally exchanging conversation. She enjoyed watching the scenery pass them and commenting on it. Finally they pulled into a parking lot and Dick turned off the car.

"We're here!" he announced before sliding out of the car and running around and opening her door.

He took her hand and led her to the doors of a large building and Mac finally realized that they were at a skating rink. She wanted to jump for joy. She'd only been ice skating a few times, but she really loved it. The other night when they watched a Christmas movie Mac had commented about how much being in the snow had made her want to go skating again. She was touched that Dick not only remembered but wanted to take her as well. She had to fight the urge to jump on him and kiss him. She was overwhelmed by his unexpected thoughtfulness and skipped ahead of him to open the door and rush in. All at once her happy balloon popped as she found the door locked. She hadn't noticed how empty the parking lot was until that moment.

"Dick, I don't think it's open," she said, feeling suddenly glum. She wasn't going to get to ice skate with Dick like in one of those cheesy Christmas flicks after all.

"I rented it out, dude. It's ours for the afternoon!" he said, grinning at her and pulling a set of keys from his pocket.

"No way! Seriously? You didn't have to do that," she said automatically. She wasn't used to people spending large amounts of money on her. It wasn't that her family was poor; they were regular, middle-class people. But the thought of someone renting out an entire skating rink just for her was unfathomable. She thought that people only did that in movies.

"Yeah I did," he said, pushing open the door and stepping inside. Dick had taken care of everything. The rink manager was even there to get them skates and make sure they had what they needed to get onto the ice.

Mac and Dick skated around the rink for hours enjoying themselves. They took turns pulling each other along the ice and laughing about it. Dick tried to hold her up, only to drag them both down when he fell. Mac didn't think she'd laughed so hard in her entire life, and Dick was just happy to see her smile. He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful.

 

* * *

 

 

After Mac and Dick left the cabin, Veronica went to find Logan. They had an entire day to themselves, and Veronica wanted to make sure that Logan knew that she planned to keep her word from last night.

"Hey," she said when she found him playing video games downstairs. He glanced over at her and nodded.

"Hey," he said, turning back to the screen and fighting the demons.

She watching him quietly until his game ended and then he finally turned to her.

"So Dick and Mac left us alone," he commented, throwing the controller down.

"I noticed. What do you wanna do?" she asked.

He smirked at her and she noticed the leer in his gaze. She reddened instantly and turned away trying to hide her blush.

"We could stay here…get in the hot tub. Maybe go over our anatomy together," he suggested, leaning into her and giving her a wolfish smile.

"I thought we decided on driving around the lake, you know building our friendship foundation and all that jazz," she said, giving him a pointed look.

He sighed heavily and let his head drop to the back of the couch. "Oh right! I guess I did agree to that, huh."

She nodded and scooted closer. "Come on, it'll be fun," she said, nudging him.

He grinned and then sat up. "All right, let's go," he said. The doorbell rang at that moment, indicating that the rental car that he had arranged had arrived.

About an hour later, they found themselves driving around the lake. They decided to stop at Lower Eagle Falls to check out the view. When they'd stopped earlier for a coffee the barista had suggested visiting the falls and lunch at Sunnyside.

They parked and got out at Lower Eagle Falls and began to follow the path for their small hike.

"So how do you feel about last night?" he asked curiously, taking her hand as they hiked through the woods.

"What do you mean?" she wondered, glancing at him.

"I mean how do you feel about it?"

"Didn't we already cover this portion of the test?" she snarked.

He shot her a look and she sighed.

"I told you; I'm glad we talked about it. I don't have any regrets if that's what you're asking."

"Good."

"What about you? Do you have any regrets?" she asked, tentatively stepping over a root.

He smirked and let his mind replay the previous night's conversation. "Not in the literal sense," he said, turning so she couldn't see his face.

She frowned, "What does that mean?"

"Just that, I know we should take things slow but—"

"But I've missed you," she blurted out, cutting him off.

He nodded and glanced over at her to gauge her reaction. "I've missed you, too." He paused to gather his thoughts and then went on. "It was never really our pace that was the problem. I mean we've always gotten A pluses in our physical relationship; it's the emotional part that I'm worried about."

"What about the emotional part? I said I would work on it," Veronica said. She dropped his hand and stopped walking so that they could properly talk.

He stopped when she did and they turned to each other. They took a moment to regard one another, both wondering if this would result in yet another fight.

"I know that, but—"

"Listen, Logan, I meant everything I said last night. Even this morning in the harsh light of day, I'm still committed to us. I know you don't believe me yet, but you will, okay?" she said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Okay," he said with a nod. He tightened his hold on her hand as they ventured forward into the thick woods.

 

* * *

 

"Thank you so much for today! I had so much fun." Mac said when they arrived back to the cabin, her voice full of awe. She made her way to the front door, carrying her purse and the vegan takeout she'd been unable to finish because she was so full.

After their ice skating experience, Dick had surprised her again by taking her to a vegan restaurant. Even though he complained about two thirds of the menu and he ordered something that she ended up eating, she was overjoyed that he was willing to take her out to places that he wasn't comfortable going to.

One of the biggest fears she had about dating Dick was that he'd only be willing to do things that he wanted to do. She was worried he wouldn't ever take an interest in things she liked to do, like go to vegan restaurants and museums. The fact that he took her ice skating and then to a vegan restaurant proved that he was making an effort; she was relieved and grateful.

Despite the effort Dick had made that day, Mac still felt the need to discuss with him the other big issue she had with dating him. She was trying to figure out just how to start the conversation when he interrupted her thoughts.

"So you wanna go into the hot tub? I think Veronica and Logan are gone," he suggested, taking her takeout from her and putting it in the fridge.

She nodded and they separated, each heading up to their room to change into their bathing suit. By the time Mac arrived downstairs Dick had already started the hot tub and was settled in. She got in hesitantly, still feeling a bit self-conscious about being almost naked in front of him. He had seen dozens of girls naked and she couldn't help but think of it every time they were together. On top of that, she was still nervous about how she should bring up her feelings regarding monogamy. She needed to talk to him about it if he wanted to go further. She knew that she was ready to move forward, but she didn't want to waste her time if he wasn't that into her.

She eased herself into the hot tub, and Dick scooted next to her. He draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"So I had a lot of fun today," he said, looking into her bright blue eyes.

"Me too," she said with a smile. He seemed so happy. Her stomach twisted into knots as she thought of a way to bring up what she wanted to say, hoping it wouldn't ruin their magical day.

Dick bent down and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. She immediately melted into him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to pull him closer. She was enjoying his lips on hers when, despite her protest, he pulled away. He gave her a nervous look and Mac immediately felt on edge. She knew he was going to say something that she didn't like and she wanted to beat him to it. She needed to talk to him about the monogamy before she lost her nerve.

"Dick—"

"Mac—"

They both blushed and gestured for the other to go on.

"You first."

"No you."

They stared at each other, and then finally, when it became apparent Mac wasn't going to speak, Dick decided to take the plunge.

"So I've been thinking…" he began, clearing his throat and looking away nervously.

"About what?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady. _Please say something stupid, please say something stupid_ , she begged mentally.

"Monogamy," he said, finally breaking her mental prayer.

"Monogamy?" she said, shocked. This wasn't going to go well.

"Yeah, see I think we should just be together…if you want. I know what I said the other night but I am starting to think I was wrong…I mean, I think I'd like, like a monogamous relationship," he stuttered.

"Like we don't date anyone else?" she asked, sure that she had entered a bizarre alternate universe. She was trying to make sure she was making sense of his rambling. Dick Casablancas wanted to exclusively date her?

"Yeah. I mean, I know what I said before, but…well, I take it back," he said, nodding vehemently.

"Really?" she smiled. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"Good," he said, leaning down to kiss her again.

They began to make out again, but suddenly Dick broke away as if he just realized something. "I don't want to freak you out with sex either. I know you probably want to take things slow."

She laughed and kissed him again before answering. "I don't want you to overthink things. Let's just go at a pace that fits us," she said before placing her lips back on his - right where they belonged.

 

* * *

 

After taking their time enjoying the view of the falls and sitting and talking for a while, Logan and Veronica decided to go get some lunch. They decided to stop at Sunnyside since it was recommended by the barista for it's beautiful view of the lake.

As they ate, Logan watched Veronica and couldn't help but be surprisingly glad they had broken up. The break up itself had been terrible, but if it let them be able to see each other 'warts and all' and still want to be together, it had all been worth it. If a break up was what they needed to move forward, then so be it. She was clearly making an effort to open up to him, especially after her giant speech the night before. He smiled, watching as she went on about school and how she wasn't sure if she was on the right path. He was surprised at her openness and he reveled in the fact she was asking for his opinion on things.

"What would make you happy, Veronica?" he asked after she stopped talking.

"Professor Landry told me about a internship with the FBI that he wants to recommend me for."

"Do you want to work for the FBI?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged. "You know how I am with following rules." She bit her lip and sighed. "Honestly, I really like working with my dad. As much as I know he wants me to leave Neptune, I think he knows that we make a great team. Neptune never has any shortage of murder and mayhem so we will always be busy. I actually talked to him this morning. We are working on some theories regarding the Dean's murder."

Logan set his fork down and looked at her. "I thought the Dean committed suicide, Veronica," he said, suddenly not hungry.

"That's a little too cut and dry for Neptune don't you think, Logan?" she replied, not noticing his distress.

"I can't believe you! How can you jump into another case right after what happened before break? How could your father let you? Murder? This is serious, Veronica," Logan was trying to keep himself calm but was losing the battle.

Veronica was taken aback at the turn of Logan's attitude. "This is what we do, Logan. My dad and I aren't ever going to win a popularity contest in Neptune, but what we do is important. Listen, I promise to be careful. Besides, we are just tossing around theories at this point."

"Yes, well that's how it always starts, isn't it?" Logan responded. "First it's just theories and paperwork and the next thing I know you'll be held at gunpoint, trapped in a trunk somewhere or worse." Logan was surprised to see that his hands were shaking. Veronica must have noticed too because she reached across the table and covered his hands with her own.

"I am telling you this because I am trying to be open with you about what I am doing. I want to show you that I will be cautious. I promise, Logan - no more tunnel vision…no more taking unnecessary risks. For the time being I practically have a desk job. My field work will be limited to taking salacious pictures from the parking lot of the Camelot."

"Really?" he finally responded when he had taken in everything she just said. "Will you be satisfied with that?"

"Even if I'm not, that is the way it's going to be for a while. At least until I graduate. We have been through enough, Logan. The cost is too high." She looked into his eyes willing for him to believe her. When he didn't look entirely convinced, she continued, "I swear – no bugged Fichus trees, no trips to Fitzpatrick territory. I've already done all that. I came, I saw, I kicked its ass. I'm officially on hiatus."

The look in his eyes told her that she almost had him. She decided to stop trying to ply him with movie lines and just be honest. "Look I can't promise that I won't ever be in danger again. If, in a few years, I become a PI fulltime with my dad, we will have to figure things out. I understand how you feel, but if being a PI is what I choose to do with my life, you will have to respect that. I will always fight for what is right; but I will work hard not to hide things from you. Logan, this week has been so perfect in a lot of ways. My spa day with Mac involved actual girl talk. And earlier today when I was helping Mac get ready for her date, I realized how amazing it felt to be normal. It felt like how things were before Lilly died. I want that…for us and for myself. I will take it easy for now; I promise."

Logan and Veronica smirked at each other and then she leaned across the table to kiss him lightly on the lips.

"Are you trying to distract me or was that because I am being a good boy?" he teased, surprised that she was being so touchy feely with him.

"I don't think being a 'good boy' is in your genes," she said happily before letting go of his hand and pressing her palm to his cheek. "I just wanted to," she added, grinning at him.

He grinned back despite himself, amazed that they were trying again. Hopefully this time it would work out; hopefully it could be like how it should've from the beginning.

Once they were done with their lunch, Veronica and Logan decided to make their way to Tahoe City. They stopped at a few boutiques along the way and made fun of the little souvenirs and kitschy items. Neither of them could remember the last time they had both been so relaxed; it was invigorating.

After the boutiques, they found a little path that followed along the edge of the Truckee River. They held hands and walked until it was dark and time to go home.

"This was nice. Do you think it'll still be like this when we go back home?" she asked, cuddling close to him as they walked back along the path toward the car.

He chuckled. "We live in Neptune, remember? Nice isn't in our vocabulary."

"I mean do you think this will be enough? Do you think everything will be this…functional?" she questioned.

"Do you want functional?"

"Yes, I think I do. It's the unknown and that's scary, but I do want it," she admitted, surprising even herself with that bit of information. She had thought of this but she'd never said it out loud.

He kissed her on the top of the head and pulled her closer, enjoying how open she was being.

"I know exactly what you mean," he agreed, looking down at her. She smiled shyly at him and rested her head on his shoulder as they continued walking back to the car.

Once they got home, they noticed that Mac and Dick were making out in the hot tub and decided to retreat into Logan's room to watch movies. Neither of them noticed when they fell asleep tangled together while snuggled under the covers.

 

* * *

 

 

Mac felt like her entire body was on fire as Dick's hands ghosted across her body. She finally broke away, breathing fast, and noticed that there were more lights on inside the house than when they had gone outside.

"Do you want to move this upstairs? I think Logan and Veronica are home," she said breathlessly.

He nodded and helped her out of the hot tub. They hurried upstairs wrapped in their towels. Mac stopped in her room to change and then she joined Dick in his room. They got on the bed together and continued to explore each other's bodies. Dick's hands danced at the edge of her t-shirt, and Mac couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Dick. He pulled back and gazed down at her eagerly.

"Can I try something?" he asked, touching her flushed face.

"What is it?" she asked, anxious to know what he wanted to do. "I'm nervous," she blurted out. "I don't know what I am doing. I'm not like the girls you are used to."

"Mac, I want you more than anything in the whole world. Just you. Trust me, you'll like it," he said, moving to push off her shirt. She felt momentarily embarrassed when gaze fell upon her naked torso, but when he whispered about how beautiful she was she felt her fears drift away. He let his hands roam across her body and then pulled off her pants. He leaned back to look at her in all of her naked glory. Mac watched through hooded eyes as he lowered his lips to the junction between her thighs and soon she was seeing stars.


	10. All I Want for Christmas...

"How did yesterday go with Dick?" Veronica asked as Mac and she walked into the woods.

The foursome had slept in in preparation for their big New Years Eve celebration taking place at the Montbleu Resort later that night. Somehow Dick and Logan had scored them tickets to the event hosted by the lovely – if not dirtier than a melted bus stop milkshake – Tara Reid. Neither Veronica nor Mac were too eager to see the actress, but the casino party was supposed to be pretty fun and it would be a good way to ring in the new year. Just all of them being together was enough. She and Mac were so blissfully happy with the men in their lives that they would have agreed to almost anything at this point.

"It was good…" Mac said uneasily.

Veronica frowned. "Then why are you wringing your hands as if something bad happened?" she asked, pointing to Mac's hands that were indeed doing just that.

Mac dropped her hands immediately and bit her lip. "It's just…it was amazing. I'm ready to go all the way with Dick…but…" she stuttered.

"But what?"

"Well I was thinking that tonight could be the night, but I don't want to have sex for the first time in a hotel room," she finished reluctantly.

"Who said anything about having sex in a hotel room?" Veronica asked, confused.

"Well, Dick got one for tonight. I think he figured you and Logan would want some alone time and he said it would ruin the mood if we knew that you guys were having sex at the same time we were," Mac blurted out sheepishly.

Veronica blinked rapidly and then turned back to the path. She concentrated on the snow-covered trees around them instead of what Mac had brought up. It was no secret that since Logan and she had reconciled sex had been on her mind. Now that Mac had actually voiced her plans with Dick, it was making Veronica reconsider the whole going slow plan. On the other hand, she was nervous to ask Logan to stay in a hotel room with her. The slow down plan seemed to be working well for them. She didn't want to mess with that, but did want to sleep with Logan and make Mac happy by getting out of the cabin for a night.

"All right, I'll talk to Dick and see if maybe Logan and I can have the room he booked for you guys so you can have the cabin," Veronica relented.

Mac grinned and moved to hug Veronica. "Thank you! It's just after the whole Cassidy thing—"

"Yeah, I know. It's fine. I'll talk to the guys," she said, waving her off friend's explanation.

They continued walking through the woods in silence until Veronica looked over at Mac in concern.

"Are you sure about this? I mean, you don't have to do anything you aren't ready to do. Even for Dick; Dick can wait if you need him to," she said cautiously.

Mac nodded and gave her a gentle smile. "I like Dick and I'm ready to take this step with him. He was so amazing on our date. I didn't know he could be like that - caring and thoughtful. Either he has changed a lot or I never really knew him at all."

Veronica sighed. "Okay. Well, just so you know, if the cuddling is the best part he's not doing it right."

Mac giggled and they continued their walk.

 

* * *

 

When the girls came back to the cabin, Veronica went straight to Logan's room and found him still asleep. She smiled to herself as she took off her sweater and shoes before crawling into bed with him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her head into his back as she entangled her legs with his. Just as she felt herself dozing back to sleep she felt Logan jerk awake.

"Morning, bobcat," he said, yawning and turning over that so he could see her.

She grinned and kissed him lightly on the lips before pulling away. "It's afternoon actually," she corrected.

He smirked. "You always have to be right."

She smiled playfully and cuddled closer to him. He rolled onto his back and she adjusted so that her head rested on his chest. She was quiet for a few minutes as he caressed her hair. They were content just laying together, their breaths in sync.

Veronica wasn't sure how to bring up the idea of the hotel. She was nervous to ask Logan since things between them were going so well, but she had to do it for Mac.

"Logan…" she said, tilting her head up so she could look him in the eye.

"Veronica," he said matching her quiet tone.

"So…I've been thinking. Well, um…so I talked to Mac and she and Dick want to…you know," she murmured, feeling embarrassed.

Logan laughed at the blush crawling up her face when she talked of their friends having sex.

"So what does that have to do with us? Do you wanna join them?" he teased.

Her face grew redder and she lightly slapped his bicep. "No! I think we should get a hotel room, you know give them some space so that they can do their…thing."

Logan shrugged. "Sure why not. Although I think Dick already booked a hotel for them."

"Yeah, but the last time Mac went to a hotel to have sex was with Cassidy…" she trailed off, feeling Logan stiffen under her.

"Right. Yeah, I'll ask Dick to swap," he said, kissing her on the forehead.

She nodded and closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat.

"Do you think he really likes her?" she asked quietly, curious to know what Logan thought. After all he hadn't thought that Dick was that in to Mac when they had first arrived in Tahoe.

"Yeah."

Logan paused for a minute, gathering his thoughts and trying to decide how to convey to Veronica how Dick felt. "Honestly, I've never really seen him like this with any other girl. He's into her. I'm not sure that he realizes how into her he really is," Logan admitted.

Veronica smiled before she closed her eyes again, happy with his answer.

 

* * *

 

 

A few hours later, Logan woke her up with a kiss to tell her to go pack an overnight bag and to get ready to go to the party.

Veronica and Mac get dolled up in the last nice outfits they'd brought with them. Mac wore the blue lingerie she bought a few days earlier when shopping with Veronica. Over it she wore a tight black dress and a pair of strappy heels. Veronica wore a white thick-strapped dress that was cut low into a V. She, like Mac, wore black strappy heels. Once they were ready they went downstairs to find the boys.

The casino they were going to was called Montbleu Resort. When they walked in, neither Mac nor Veronica could speak for several minutes. There were three clubs inside the place; it was huge. The entire place was still decked out in Christmas decorations, and everything looked really elaborate. There were so many things to do that the two couples felt overwhelmed and couldn't decide what to try first.

They knew that they would end their night in the nightclub called Blu, so they made a loop around the complex so that they would have a chance to experience everything the resort had to offer. They began their night by taking silly pictures in a photo booth. After they all got copies of their pictures, they made their way into a club to watch the go-go dancers.

Mac and Dick stopped to get a drink while Veronica and Logan wandered away to check out a local band playing in the next club. They were actually impressed with the music. When Mac and Dick caught up with them they all danced together for a few songs before the couples paired off for a slow song.

"I'm going to get something to drink," Veronica said when there was a break between bands.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Logan asked.

She shook her head and looked over at Dick and Mac who were coming toward them.

"I'm going to get something to drink. Do you guys want anything?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, but you won't remember my order," Dick said, making Veronica roll her eyes. She kissed Logan and he told her what he wanted. Dick took Mac's order before he grabbed Veronica's hand to pull her to the bar with him.

"So, I've actually wanted to talk to you," Veronica said, putting on her 'bitch face' as they waited at the bar.

"Oh yeah? What about?" Dick asked, leaning against the counter.

"Don't fuck it up with Mac," she said bluntly.

Dick raised an eyebrow but recovered quickly enough to respond. "I won't. I really like Mac. Like a lot. More than anyone I've ever dated before or been with," he reassured her.

She nodded and looked back at the bartender, waiting for him to spot them.

"Don't fuck up with Logan again, Ronnie. He really loves you and, as his best friend, I should tell him to stay away from you because you are always screwing with his head. But I think you guys are good together," Dick said, surprising her.

Veronica's head snapped up to look at him in shock. "I'm not – I wouldn't – I mean, not again," she stuttered.

Dick flashed some teeth and finally got the bartender's attention. They both ordered their drinks and then an awkward silence settled between them as they waited for the bartender to return.

Across the room, Mac and Logan sat together uncomfortably.

"Thanks," Mac said suddenly, drawing Logan's attention.

"For?" Logan asked.

"I mean, thank you for taking the room with Veronica tonight. I really appreciate it," Mac said self-consciously.

Logan shrugged. "It's no problem. We don't mind."

"She's really trying you know to open up to you. I know it's hard for you, but she is," she added, looking over at him.

Logan smiled briefly. "Believe me I know. I've known her since we were twelve. I'd like to think I know her pretty well." He was quiet for a minute before opening his mouth again. "You know Dick can be kinda…hard to deal with too. You like him right?"

Mac nodded adamantly. "Oh yeah. A lot. More than a lot."

Logan raised an eyebrow in surprise, but he let it go with a nod. He was happy for his friends. He wanted what was best for them, and if they liked each other he was content.

"Good. Dick deserves someone who won't screw with him," he said quietly.

Mac didn't respond, but she did smile at that. She was happy that her friends approved of her and Dick's relationship. She could see that on the surface they appeared to be an unlikely couple, but she was comforted by the fact that those closest to them understood.

Logan looked out into the mass of people, watching for Veronica's tiny body and bright white dress. He finally saw her approaching with Dick behind her. Once the drinks were delivered they went out to the large patio to watch the fire dancers.

The rest of the night they alternated between drinking, dancing, and doing various activities in the resort. With ten minutes left until midnight, they made their way to Blu as Tara Reid led the festivities. With one minute to go, the crowd began the count down and watched the relocated disco ball start its decent. It wasn't quite Times Square, but they were having fun.

Dick's arms encircled Mac from behind. He nudged her and then shot a look over at Logan and Veronica. Mac followed his gaze and a smile lit up her face at the sight of their friends. Logan's arms were around Veronica's waist and she held him tightly around his shoulders. They were staring intently into each other's eyes, oblivious to the world around them. Midnight hit and the crowd went wild. Mac watched as Logan kissed Veronica on the nose and whispered something before they engaged in a passionate kiss.

A loud crack drew Mac's attention away from her best friend and to the fireworks soaring over Lake Tahoe. She felt Dick's arms tighten around her and she turned in his arms to face him.

"Happy New Year, Cindy Mackenzie," Dick said, staring intensely into her eyes.

"Happy New Year, Dick," Mac replied, pulling him in for a midnight kiss.

Mac and Dick were pulled from their reverie when Logan and Veronica arrived with full champagne flutes and the group toasted the new year's arrival together.

"So now that it's a new year, what do you guys wanna do?" Mac asked.

Veronica wiggled her eyebrows at her. Mac blushed but it was all the encouragement that she needed.

"On second thought...Dick, do you wanna go back to the cabin?" Mac asked, nodding to the doorway.

Dick grinned, already knowing what was going to happen when they got back. "Let's go, dude," he said, waving goodbye to Logan and Veronica, and then making his way to the valet to go get Logan's car.

"Are they staying here?" he asked, suddenly realizing that, in his eagerness, he didn't know if his friends had decided to stay or go with them.

"Yep," Mac said, popping the 'p.'

Dick smirked. "Told you we could get them together. Dude, we make an awesome team."

Mac laughed in reply and grabbed his hand as they waited for the valet. She didn't let go of his hand even when they got into the car and Dick was unable to stop grinning from ear to ear. He couldn't believe that this was happening. He had no clue how he had gotten someone as smart and special as Mac to have feelings for him. He felt lucky for the first time in years.

"Thanks again for coming on the trip," he said, breaking the silence as they drove through the hills.

"It's no problem," she said, shooting him an odd look.

"I've never really looked forward to starting a new year or making those stupid resolutions, but I am now…you know, now that you're here," he admitted quietly.

Mac blushed. "I feel the same way." She bit her lip and looked away, contemplating how to bring up what she so desperately wanted to.

"You know, I'm a little worried," she began, staring out the window.

"Worried? About what?" he asked curiously.

"You know, you have a lot more experience than I do… I've never done this before. What if…what if—what if I'm not good enough for you?" she stuttered.

Dick snorted in response, completely missing the flash of disbelief in Mac's eyes.

"Good enough? Like any of the girls I've been with have been good enough. I mean, Madison just laid there and made me do all the work," he said edgily. "Pretty chicks are almost never good in bed."

Mac blinked rapidly and clamped her mouth shut. She wasn't sure what to make of his comment, but she did know she was seriously reconsidering making love to him tonight.

When they pulled into the driveway Mac opened the door quickly so she could get inside. She hurried to the door and unhappily waited for Dick to come unlock it. He tried to wrap his arm around her shoulders, but she shrugged him off.

"What's wrong?" he asked, staring down at her.

"Can you just open the door, please?" she snapped, tightening her arms around herself so she could keep warm.

He frowned, but did as she asked. When the door was open she hurried into the cabin, took off her coat and threw it on the couch. Then she undid her heels and hurried upstairs. Dick stood there for a moment before following her, confused by her actions.

"Dude, what's wrong?" he asked, coming into her room without knocking.

She glared over at him from her seated position on the bed.

"Nothing, just…" she trailed off and rubbed a hand across her face.

"Did I do something? Say something?" he asked, sitting down beside her. She was quiet for a long time until she finally responded.

"Dick…I like you a lot. I may even possibly be falling in love with you, but for that to happen I need you to think before you speak and take responsibility for your words."

"What did I say?" he asked, utterly bewildered. He had no clue what she was going on about.

"The comment about Madison and sleeping with pretty girls. I'm about to take a huge step here with you, both emotionally and physically, and then you go and say something like that. You essentially just told me that either I'm not pretty or I won't be good in bed." she snapped, feeling stupid for even telling him how she felt or what she thought.

He was quiet for a minute before nodding. "Holy shit, Mac I didn't mean that. I only said that because the other girls didn't mean anything. I've never done this before either. I've never made fucking love or whatever. I want tonight to be special for you, but I'm also…I'm nervous. So I just rambled. What if you regret it or I go too fast? What if I'm not everything you want me to be? What if I fuck it all up? I didn't mean to offend you. I just meant that none of those girls have been good enough because I didn't care about them like I care about you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I think I could fall in love you with you too," he admitted quietly. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling completely like a girl.

Mac leaned over and kissed him gently. When he began to respond she pulled away and got off the bed. She went to stand in front of him and cupped his face in her hands.

"I've been really happy this last week and I want to start this year off right," she said before taking a step back and unzipping her dress. The black material pooled on the ground. Dick let out a strangled noise as he took in the sight of her wearing the lovely blue lingerie that matched her eyes.

"We'll be okay," she said softly. She took a step closer to him and smiled, watching as his eyes became darker with lust. She leaned down to kiss him and he immediately pulled her forward until her legs straddled his waist. They fell to the bed together and began moving in unison. Dick moved slowly, but deliberately as he removed his clothes and then her lingerie. When he finally entered her she couldn't help but think that nothing had ever been as perfect as that moment.

* * *

Back at Montbleu, Logan and Veronica wandered around the casino for a little while longer before they went up to the hotel room. Both of them were a bit nervous, so they were relying on their age-old jokes and snark to relieve the tension.

"And here we are," Logan said, making a grand gesture as he opened the door to the suite.

Veronica took in the large hotel room with its California king bed and dim lightening.

"It's nice," she said, feeling awkward. She wasn't sure why she felt so uncomfortable. They had shared a bed plenty of times.

"You know, Veronica, just because Mac and Dick are fooling around doesn't mean I'm expecting anything. I'm okay with taking things slow physically if not emotionally," he said, moving to her and taking her hand.

She looked up at him nervously and then nodded, saying, "I want to have sex, don't get me wrong I just…I want it to be perfect. Again. I mean every time is perfect, but I just want it to be the right time. For us." She winced, feeling embarrassed by what she had just said. She felt the need to slap herself to stop talking. "And I officially sound like an idiot," she mumbled, bringing a hand to her forehead and giving him a sheepish smile.

He grinned and leaned down to kiss her. She responded instantly, getting lost in the kiss like she always did. Everything seemed to fall away and it was just the two of them together. No one else mattered. He pulled away gently and pressed a kiss to her forehead before moving away.

"I'm pretty tired. How about we get ready for bed?" he said, letting his fingers ghost down her arm to finally land in her hand.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Don Juan, but I call dibs on the bathroom first," she said, giving him a meaningful look.

Logan smirked as he tossed Veronica her bag that a bellhop brought up earlier. She took a shower and changed while he hunted through the list of movies available, trying to find something they hadn't yet seen.

When she came out of the bathroom, he took his turn and then they curled into bed with each other. Neither of them really watched the movie; both were too wrapped in each other. They spent the majority of the movie passionately kissing. It was fun and youthful and reminded Veronica of their early days together in junior year when all they did was make out everywhere in secret.

Veronica pulled away, needing to take a break and catch her breath before she ripped his clothes off. She ran a hand up and down his arm and gazed up at him with so much love in her eyes that he felt his heart clench.

"I love you," she whispered before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Veronica—"

"I'm telling you because I need you to know—I want you to know. And I'm not drunk either if that's what you're going to say. I'm telling you this sober and without hesitation," she added hastily.

He was quiet for a minute before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to her lips.

"I didn't think you were drunk. I'm just shocked," he chuckled and moved over on the bed slightly to lie beside her. He was looking at her with wonderment. He'd waited forever for her to say that and now he wanted her to say it at least once more. She propped her head up with her hand and looked over at him, fear reflected in her eyes as she waited for him to continue after the big step she just took.

"Can you say it again?" he asked, reaching a hand out to her and moving her closer to him.

She grinned and all her fear instantly disappeared. "I love you," she said again.

"Again, please?" he said, leaning over and kissing her firmly on the mouth.

"I, Veronica Mars, love you, Logan Echolls," she said, kissing him fervently in response.

He buried his head in her shoulder and held on to her as tightly as he could. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Logan pulled away and rolled on to his back. He made sure she stayed firmly pressed to him, since he didn't want to let her go. Never again would he let her go.

"This right here—I don't think I've ever felt so close to you…not even after sex. I just mean…this is true intimacy," he admitted bashfully.

She looked up at him and kissed him again, wanting to convey that she agreed.

"We can do this, Veronica. We can do the communication; we can do the closeness," he said firmly.

"I know."

"I think we should move in together," he blurted out.

He felt her stiffen in response. He had expected that reaction from her; he knew that he'd sprung the idea of moving in together on her way too quickly, but that didn't mean he wanted to take it back.

"I know it's scary, but I believe we can do this. I love you so much. I will show you every day that you are the only one for me. And I will show you with actions, not just words. I'm ready to do this with you, for good. We're adults and I want to move out of the Grand. I've been thinking about that for a while now. And there's no one else I'd rather live with than you. I want to buy a place and I'd really like if you could move in with me. Even if we can't be together physically just yet, I think we should go into this like we're both in it forever," he rambled, hoping that he hadn't scared her away.

Veronica remained silent for a long time, trying to take in what he'd just said. Slowly he felt the stiffness drain from her body. He had to give her credit for not jumping out of bed and running as fast and as far away from him as possible.

"I need to think about it," she whispered, looking up at him to show him how serious she was. She wasn't running anymore, but she did need time.

He nodded and tightened his hold on her. Eventually they fell asleep wrapped around the other.


	11. Is You

Logan and Veronica got out of the cab holding hands; both felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. After last night Logan never felt closer to Veronica and she felt the same. Even though she had to fight the urge to run when he asked her if she wanted to move in with him, she was glad that she fought her instincts and stayed.

Now that things were different, Veronica was confident that this time it would work out. She didn't see how they couldn't; she had grown up a lot in the past few weeks. She was willing to tell him she loved him and he was willing to show her he loved her. It seemed that slowly, but surely their issues would be worked out one by one if they both remained committed to working together.

They walked up the small path to the doorway of the cabin and knocked loudly on the door since neither of them had a key.

"Well, hola!" Dick greeted as he opened the door. He grinned goofily at them and Logan smirked at the obvious afterglow Dick had from finally getting into Mac's pants.

Logan fist bumped him and Dick's goofy grinned widened.

"Gross," Veronica mumbled, pushing past them and going further into the cabin. She immediately went into the kitchen and began to make herself breakfast when Logan stuck his head in and grinned at her.

"Dick and I are going out to the slopes. Wanna come?" he asked, watching as she made a massive sandwich.

"No, I think I'll stay here if Mac is. You guys have fun though," she said, waving him off.

He nodded and walked further into the kitchen to kiss her goodbye. Once he and Dick left, she began to munch on her sandwich, wondering where Mac was. As if on cue her friend came down the stairs looking tired.

"Rough night?" Veronica mocked through a mouthful of sandwich.

"You already ate?" Mac asked, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Dick wore you out?" Veronica asked in a teasing tone.

Mac blushed and plopped down beside her friend. "Where are the guys?"

"Skiing. I guess you're just stuck with me," she said, eating the last bite of her sandwich.

"If you hadn't eaten we could've gone to brunch," Mac said, annoyed. She leaned her head back against the couch.

Veronica wiped the crumbs from her lips and then hoped off the couch. "I could eat. Let's go then. Go get dressed," Veronica said, making a shooing motion.

Mac smiled and hurried upstairs, eager to leave. A few minutes later she came back down and the girls called a cab since the boys left in Logan's car.

"So tell me about last night," Veronica demanded.

"What about last night?" Mac asked, giggling in a very un-Mac fashion.

"What was it like? Did you have fun? Was he good to you? You know, tell me everything!" Veronica said, smiling when Mac grinned.

"My cheeks hurt from smiling so much," Mac mumbled, looking away.

"So it was good then?" she asked giddily.

"Better than good. It was perfect. He was wonderful and loving. Yeah we had a few mishaps, but overall it was amazing," Mac gushed.

"Good! As long as he's nice to you he won't have to be introduced to Mr. Sparky," Veronica said with a resolute nod.

They were interrupted by the cabbie honking for them to come outside. They hopped in the cab and gave directions to a small diner near the resort they'd seen and wanted to try.

Once they were seated in a booth and had browsed the menu Mac turned the conversation back to last night.

"I just can't believe that I'm dating Dick Casablancas," she said in awe.

"You and me both," Veronica teased, not looking up. She was still trying to decide between the Sunrise and the Sunset brunch.

"I just can't believe I'm dating Dick. I mean this is Dick Casablancas we're talking about here. This is a guy who has mooned more people than I'd ever like to know. He likes blondes and big boobs and girls like Madison. How am I supposed to keep his attention?" she asked, slightly panicked now that the afterglow had worn off. "But despite all of that, I'm incredibly crazy happy and I'm just so…" Mac trailed off, making Veronica laugh.

"Happy?" Veronica finished for her.

Mac nodded. "Yeah, it's just so surreal I guess."

Veronica nodded, completely understanding the feeling. She had that with Logan too, sometimes – like last night she'd realized how real everything was and how happy he made her. It made her wonder why she ran so much over the years.

Seeing Mac so happy made Veronica begin to think about her own sex life. She knew that Mac had, had the perfect experience – it was obvious by how she couldn't stop smiling – and Veronica wanted that too. Again she felt jealousy towards Mac and Dick for being able to leave all of their past shit behind them and move on.

Veronica didn't want to be impulsive about sex with Logan. She didn't want to jump into bed with him. They'd done that too many times to count. She was determined to make it right this time, which meant no spontaneous jumping of Logan Echolls' bones no matter how much they both wanted it. She couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"So how was last night with Logan?" Mac asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"He asked me to move in with him," she blurted out, smirking when Mac chocked on the coffee she was drinking.

"And you're still here? What did you say?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." Veronica said quietly, knowing that, since she hadn't running screaming in the opposite direction, she was ready to finally think about what he'd offered last night.

After their completely intimate evening the night before she felt like she could move in with him now that he was leaving the Grand. She knew that they would fight and it would be difficult, but it would all be worth it. Having sex with him without fully thinking and analyzing everything was a different story. She figured sex would happen when they were finally at the right place and if that took until they were living together than so be it. She just didn't want to be brash about reuniting with him. In the past it had gotten them into more trouble.

"So what are you going to do?" Mac asked curiously.

Veronica smiled to herself, already knowing her next step. Living with Logan would be a big step. She was scared to do it but that is how she knew it was right; she loved him and that's all that mattered. Well, it wasn't all that mattered, but it was the driving force of wanting this to work this time and if moving in with him was the key than that was it.

 

* * *

 

The snow continued to fall as Logan and Dick whipped down each hill at Heavenly. The ice swiped at their cheeks as they careened down the slopes. Finally they decided to take a break and go grab a beer in the tavern to warm up.

After shedding off their layers, they took a seat at the bar and ordered a few beers. Both were freezing from being outside for hours.

"I have to tell you something," Logan began, peeling at the wrapper on his beer bottle.

"What's up, dude? Did you cheat on me or something?" Dick mocked.

Logan rolled his eyes and gulped down some beer, "Listen…so I've been thinking of moving out of the Grand."

"Okay."

"I think it's the right time."

"Okay."

"I'm not ditching you."

"Dude, I know. You don't have to be such a girl. I get it; you want to live somewhere that's not full of…memories," Dick finished off, taking a large gulp of his drink.

"Honestly I've been thinking of moving out too, especially with this thing I have going with Mac. I was thinking of moving into the frat house until summer," Dick admitted.

"So we're cool? I mean you're welcome to come over, dude," Logan said.

"Duh, dude! Who else would help you throw awesome ragers?" Dick asked, rolling his eyes and finishing his beer off.

"How about the person who lives there," Logan said, pointing to himself.

Dick chuckled and waved the bartender over. "Listen, I'm at a good place with Mac, so being on campus just makes sense. And, for what it's worth, I think it's a good idea that you move out too. Too much stuff has happened in that place," Dick said quietly.

"Yeah," Logan agreed, thinking about all of the things that had happened in the hotel.

"Maybe eventually I'll find my own place too. Grow up or some shit," Dick revealed.

Logan laughed and shook his head. "Dude, the day you grow up is the day I decide to join the Navy. Never going to happen."

Dick tossed him an annoyed look and they continued to drink until it was time to go back to the cabin.

 

* * *

 

"There is a lot of food here," Mac said, looking over the menu. That night they all decided to go out for Italian at a restaurant in the casino. The atmosphere between them was the most laid back it had been since they left Neptune. Both couples were blissfully enjoying the last few hours of being unencumbered by issues before going back home.

"It has nothing on Mama Leoni's," Veronica said, tossing her menu on the table having already made up her mind on what she wanted.

"What are you getting?" Logan asked, setting his own menu down on top of hers.

She gave him a look and he chuckled, wrapping an arm around the back of her chair.

"How silly of me to even ask," he mumbled, leaning over and kissing her on the lips.

The gesture made Dick yell, "Get a room!" and he added in a few howls making Mac smack him on the shoulder.

Logan pulled away from Veronica and glared over at his best friend. Veronica blushed despite herself. Finally once the noise had settled down, a waitress came over to take their order.

Dinner was a happy affair with all of them eating as much Italian food as possible, especially Veronica who claimed she had been going through lasagna withdrawals.

Once dinner was finished they snuck onto the game floor and began to spin the quarter slots until a security guard came over to them.

"IDs?" the security guard demanded.

"I no speakth Inglés," Dick said, making Mac giggle behind him.

The security guard glared at the four of them and then nodded toward the exit. The foursome begrudgingly left the casino, but once they got out of the building they burst into laughter at getting kicked out of a casino on their last night in town.

"Of all the places to get caught…" Veronica mumbled, pressing herself into Logan's side.

He tugged her closer and they walked into the winter snowstorm towards the car. They drove back to the cabin and Dick immediately took Mac's hand and pulled her up to his room. She followed him without protest, barely sparing a glance at the other couple, but Logan and Veronica were too wrapped up in the other to notice.

"What do you wanna do?" Logan asked, dropping himself onto the couch.

"I'm cold," she said, staring longingly at the fireplace.

Logan rolled his eyes playfully. "Always so demanding," he said before he got up to make a fire. Veronica went to go grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. Once the fire was started they sat on the couch together and sipped their wine each enjoying the other's company.

"I can't believe the week is over. Did you have a fun trip?" he asked, playing with her hair.

"Yep. I did," she said crisply before turning fully to him and putting her glass on the coffee table.

"Veronica—" Logan began, wondering where her sudden change in demeanor came from.

"I've been thinking," she said, pausing to take a deep breath. She turned her whole body toward him and gazed into his eyes as she said, "I'd like to move in with you if the offer still stands."

He nodded, feeling a familiar tightness in his chest that only Veronica could bring. His eyes bore into hers, making her tummy flip flop in only the way Logan's presence could. She knew what she was doing was the right thing.

"My only condition is that you have to come with me to tell my dad," she said, smiling slightly as fear crossed his face. He recovered quickly, his look of fear replaced by his typical mask indifference.

"Sure, piece of cake," he lied, brushing it off.

Veronica smiled and nodded, "So you say, but I see the look you get when my dad is mentioned. He owns guns you know."

"Neither of you will ever let me forget that fact," he said, moving in and pressing a gentle kiss on her lips. He nipped her bottom lip lightly and she opened her mouth in response. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Wanting to bring him even closer, she moved to straddle his lap. She could feel him through her jeans and she so desperately wanted to take him upstairs. His hands grazed down the sides of her body until they reached her waist and then slid behind her to cup her bottom. He pulled her closer, grinding up against her and making her moan into his mouth.

He took that as a cue to take things further and removed one hand from her ass and moved it to the front of her pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans before she even knew what was happening. When she felt his hand dip down into her jeans she suddenly pulled away and slid off of him, creating a cold spot where she'd been.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, worried that what happened with Mercer had taken a deeper toll on her than he'd realized.

"No, just…" she ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

"Veronica?" he asked, reaching out to touch her.

She recoiled and bit her lip, frustrated by her own gestures and his pushing. She quickly fixed her pants and avoided his gaze.

"I don't want to be impulsive," she said, getting off the couch and pacing the length of the room.

He watched her quietly, wondering what in the hell she was talking about.

"Moving in together should be enough, but you want to have sex and I want to have sex. I figured if we held off long enough it would help me. I wouldn't be impulsive anymore. I mean, I'm trying here, Logan. I want to think everything through and I don't want to rush to make reckless decisions. I mean I'm always jumping to hasty conclusions and I want this to be different. No more rash decision-making with cases, or sex or my emotions. I think we should think this through. I mean moving in is a big step already," she finished quietly.

She looked over at him and took in the guarded look on his face. If she didn't know him so well she would think that he was indifferent, but she caught the subtle clenching of his jaw and the uncomfortable look in his eyes.

"Okay…I mean, I accept your decision, but…" he let out a long sigh and stood up. He walked to her until he was a few feet away and he bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead. She closed her eyes for a brief moment before opening them again to see him with an almost identical look to the one he had when he'd broken up with her all those weeks ago.

"Listen, I'm not pushing you. I want you to be ready when you're ready, but I need to be alone for a while," he said, moving away from her.

She felt a familiar pain in her chest. It was similar to how she felt every time they took one step forward and two steps back. She knew that not being impulsive was good – it got them into trouble when they weren't – but on the other hand she felt like she was pulling away and doing exactly what Logan didn't want her to.

She watched as he went upstairs to go to bed and shortly after she followed. She tried to ignore the pangs of hurt in her heart at the way he'd looked at her before bed; it was too similar to the last time they had broken up.

As Veronica brushed her teeth she thought about what had passed between her and Logan. What she'd said may have created an unnecessary distance between them. Was trying so hard not to be brash actually holding her back physically to compensate for being so open emotionally? Was she forever going to hold at least one part back from Logan? She was ready to have sex with him, so why was she holding back? It wasn't fair to him. The only thing he asked of her was to be more open. She had been emotionally but at the expense of being open physically. She groaned realizing that they now had the opposite problem as before.

Once she was finished brushing her teeth, she took several deep calming breaths went to his door. She knocked loud enough for him to hear, but not loudly enough to penetrate Mac and Dick's love nest next door.

He opened the door and stared at her. She looked up at him with longing, fear and apologies already on the tip of her tongue. He gazed down at her with an identical expression, but before either of them could voice their emotions or concerns, Veronica decided to act on her physical desires. She jumped across the threshold and into his arms. He pulled her close, smashing their lips together. There were a hundred things he wanted to say but he decided that he just wanted to show since that meant more to her. He twirled her around and slammed the door shut with his leg, blocking out the rest of the world; no one existed but the two of them.

 

* * *

 

"Why do we have to go home again?" Mac whined while making little lunch sandwiches for everyone to take on the car ride back.

"So we can christen my room, Mackie," Dick said, kissing her on the cheek and handing her some more slices of bred.

"What if it's not the same?" she asked. She stopped slathering jelly on the PB&J to give him a sidelong look.

"What do you mean?" he asked, putting down the slice of bread he had been holding out to her.

She turned to him, trying to collect her thoughts before voicing them to him. "I'm just worried about when we go back to be Neptune," she revealed quietly. "What if things change once we are back to reality?" she added.

He smiled slightly at her anxiety, but quickly caught himself and turned serious. He didn't want her to think he was mocking her fears. "Babe, you're worrying about nothing. We'll take Neptune by storm and whoever doesn't like it can suck it. We're both happy and if people don't like it they can kiss my—"

"Dick! Are you guys ready?" Veronica asked, popping her head into the kitchen.

"Just about. Is Logan warming up the car?" Mac asked, seeing that the bags that had been by the door were gone.

"Yep, everything's all ready to go. We'll be in the car," she said, grabbing some of the food bags from the counter and taking them with her to the car. She put them in the passenger seat between her legs and settled in beside Logan.

"Are they coming?" he asked, fiddling with the radio.

"Yeah they're finishing up the sandwiches," she said.

"Mac and Dick, the cooking hour," Logan mocked, stealing a kiss before their friends could interrupt them.

"How do you feel about going home?" she asked suddenly, turning to look over at him.

"Why do you ask?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged and looked away, "I was just wondering. I was listening to Mac and Dick talk and I was just wondering how you felt."

"I'd feel better if I knew your father wasn't going to kill me as soon as we mentioned you moving in with me," he said slightly, both joking and very serious.

"Logan, even if he's against it I'll still move in with you. I am an adult, remember?" she said, giving him a look.

He looked out the window and sighed. "Yeah, but it would be better for all of us if we got your dad's approval."

She giggled, making him grimace. "Are you worried about getting my father's blessing for moving in together? What's going to happen when we get married? Will I have to hold your hand when you ask him that too?" she teased.

He looked over at her, a heated look in his eyes. He picked up her hand off her lap and entangled their fingers. He brought the back of her hand up to his lips and kissed the soft skin there.

"I love you," he whispered, looking at her like she was the only one in the world.

She blushed and ducked her head. "I—I love you too," she said, only stumbling slightly over the words. She was still unused to saying them.

They gazed at one another both lost in the abyss of each other's eyes. They only broke away when the door to the cabin slammed and Mac's giggles penetrated the air.

"So going home will be okay?" she asked anxiously as Dick and Mac approached the car.

"Yeah," he said confidentially. He squeezed her hand one last time before letting go. They both settled into their seats as Dick and Mac climbed into the back.

The drive home wasn't as easy as getting there. Halfway through driving down south, the GPS batteries died and they had to use a good, old-fashioned map. Since Dick barely had a clue of how to read a map and Logan was driving, Veronica demanded that she be the one to direct them.

"Logan! You were supposed to turn left there! You have to take the highway to—" Veronica snapped, waving the map in his face.

"Veronica! I distinctly remember taking the backstreets until the next highway. The best route to get home is—"

"No! We should follow the map! I want to get home sometime today. Go back and get on the highway."

"That's not the highway we took!"

"Yes it is! We are going south!"

"And that's southeast! We aren't going to Vegas! Dick tell her!" Logan demanded, pushing the map Veronica kept shoving in his face back into her lap.

"Dude…" Dick trailed off looking back and forth between them. He looked over at Mac for help, but found her listening to her iPod. She smiled at him and offered him an earbud so he could tune them out too.

"Logan! Turn around! That highway is faster!"

"Veronica get that map out of my face or we're going to end up in a ditch!" he yelled.

"If you would just turn around—"

"Stop! Please just stop! I can't deal with you two anymore! You sound like an old married couple!" Dick yelled, reaching forward and grabbing the map from Veronica's hands.

"Hey!" Veronica protested, reaching back to grab it from him.

"We are taking the 395 back, okay? That's it. We're done. Stop fighting!" Dick yelled.

Logan and Veronica exchanged a look.

"I thought you didn't know how to get to the cabin," Logan said suspiciously.

"I lied," Dick said, grabbing the earbud he'd dropped while telling them to be quiet.

"But—"

"Seriously, you guys sound like my parents on road trips. Just take the 395 south and we'll be back to Neptune in no time," Mac said, interrupting Veronica.

Veronica looked over at Logan with a grin on her face. She knew when he turned to give her a sidelong look that he was thinking the same thing she was. They were arguing like a normal couple about a simple thing like road directions not about chasing down rapists and spending too much money on frivolous things.

"Good idea," Veronica said, reaching her hand out to grab Logan's. He smirked at her and tightened his grip on her hand. Both of them couldn't be happier with their realization; they were finally the normal ones.

"So I was thinking when we get back home, maybe we could get one of those bears that say 'I wuv you beary much,'" Logan said quietly so only she could hear.

She grinned and shook her head. "So you think this whole thing will stay normal, then?" she said matching his quiet tone.

"Probably not, but I wouldn't want it any other way," he said, giving her a meaningful look.

She grinned and sat back in her seat. "Me too."

As the drove back to Neptune where the real world awaited them, they realized that they were ready to take all that life could throw at them, together.


End file.
